The Other Side

I am often accused of enjoying the role of Devil’s Advocate.

Perhaps accused is too strong a word but I have been criticized in the past for taking an opposing view when particular people would have much preferred me to simply agree with them. It doesn’t work that way with me. I love discussion and I love having the brain power to see both sides of an issue. I think it’s healthy to not be so rigid in one’s thinking and seeing differing sides adds to my knowledge by giving me the curiosity to educate myself.

The discussion about over-the-top bratting has been a good one — very spirited. But at the risk of taking my thesis and turning it on its head, I’d like to put something out there that I hope won’t offend too many of you. Although there must necessarily be accommodation by the individual for any group or society to survive, when does this accommodation become intrusive on the rights, needs and wants of the individual? A slightly more libertarian argument than the more communitarian argument set before.

On it’s basest level, we are all in it to win it. We each gathered up our courage and entered the scene not to be altruists but to get our respective itches scratched. For my part, I knew very little about the scene itself and certainly was not aware of the rules, regulations and protocols that had preceded me. My ignorance of such things did not hinder my enjoyment of what I was doing (mostly because my wife Sandy was my able guide) but it did throw the occasional roadblock of faux pas in my way. Like everyone else, I made mistakes but got past them relatively unscathed to a place where I could have some level of comfort and fulfillment. Along the way, I’m sure I’ve ruffled a few feathers and stepped on a couple of toes. My seeming “popularity”, if that’s what it is, has probably rankled a couple of other Tops who might be asking themselves, “Who the fuck is this guy and who does he think he is?” The only answer I have is that I’m me and if that’s not good enough an explanation then they can pretty much go fuck themselves. I do not go out of my way to piss people off no matter what anyone might think, I just act the way I think I should act at any given time and do what I want to do to achieve my goals in the scene.

It all boils down to perception, too. One person’s over-the-top or disruptive might not be someone else’s definition of the same. Even if three out of ten people get annoyed by my antics, what’s that to me? If I’m playing “too much” at a party and a couple of Tops are imagining that I’m “hoarding” the choice bottoms for myself (whatever that means), what should I do? Tell those bottoms that want to play with me, “No thanks”, because a couple of guys sitting in the corner of the room are getting their knickers in a twist? Honestly, do I have an obligation, for the good of the group, to sit down with my hands folded in front of me just so that two whiny Tops won’t get huffy? Short answer: I don’t think so.

So there you have a tiny bit of Devil’s Advocacy from me. If a person is out to play for their own amusement, should they constrain their behavior because a few people take issue? Again, I’m not talking about the person walking around a room squirting everyone with a water pistol — that’s disruptive without a doubt. There are borderline cases of bratting that could go either way. If a person is squirting a water gun at someone playfully with the full expectation that that person is going to spank them, what’s it to either person if a third-party doesn’t think water pistols at three feet is the proper way to act at a serious spanking party?