I Had A Rant Ready To Go

And a funny thing happened on the way to write this blog — I decided to pull it back. Why?

There are certain things that get under my skin in the spanking scene. That’s true of everyone who calls the spanking scene home. I’ll make no bones about the fact that certain Tops just rub me the wrong way. There’s just something about the self-promotion and self-elevation that annoys me. However, I can’t be sure that this isn’t just plain old jealousy on my part which is something I have to work out for myself. If I find that it is simple jealousy, then I’m free to let the whole matter go. It doesn’t matter because any emotion I feel about it is coming from me and hurting only me therefore it serves no purpose. Even if a person’s behavior is not just a perception but a matter of fact, it still shouldn’t bother me one damned bit.

One of the things I’ve been working hard at for a while now is to be happy and satisfied in my own skin — to simply be happy with and accepting of me. That doesn’t mean I can’t change because I want to change those things that I feel are detrimental to my well-being and enhance those things I know to be positives. One of these things is feeling that I need to hang on the opinions of others to feel validated in life. The truth is that I don’t and never did. Spending a lifetime worried about what other people thought of me was a debilitating exercise for me. I made me too self-conscious about every single thing I did, how I dressed, how I looked, etcetera. I know now that I can’t be a slave to that. I can’t walk into a room and worry about who is funnier or more gregarious or who’s sucking up more of the air in the room. I know that I’m a ham and like to perform whether it’s in front of a group of people, my coworkers, my wife or just Buster the Cat (who I think really likes my improv) but I’m not willing to compete with someone else. I’m not saying they “win” automatically because there’s nothing to win — I’m not playing a game so how can there be a winner or loser. The real winner is my peace of mind and enjoying that feeling of contentment that goes through me sometimes when I’m just sitting back without a care.

So, sorry, no rant today. I’m sure I have others in me somewhere and I’ll let those take flight every now and then. For now, I’m just gonna center myself with a feeling of zen and enjoy my coffee.

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2 Responses to “I Had A Rant Ready To Go”

  1. markedman2322 Says:

    Well put! We only have one life so we might as well enjoy it. Nobody cares what we wear.

    Mark

  2. I think we all, to a degree, use what others think of us to examine ourselves.

    But it can go to far, that’s for certain. When we start trying to define ourselves by others’ opinions, we are untrue to what makes us who we are. 🙂

    s.

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