A Little More About Drama

I generally don’t like people who insult my friends and I’m especially protective of my scene friends because they are my real family now (as opposed to the people who I happen to share genetic material with). The usual crap is bad enough but now I’ve witnessed a new one that has gotten my dander up a bit.

In a nutshell, someone sends one person a private note about another person filled with insulting remarks but disguised as trying to help. This is of course made worse by the use of a sock puppet identity which is part and parcel of people who are concern trolls. I don’t like concern trolls because they are often people who desire to drive a wedge between two people or groups of people. I don’t like sock puppets either. If a person does not have the intestinal fortitude to stand up for what they are saying then don’t fucking say it especially if it’s an insult. I can understand wanting anonymity for a variety of reasons but hiding behind a fake persona just to take a shot at someone? Not acceptable.

Even if I give the person a benefit of the doubt and say they were actually trying to be helpful, it was one of the most ham-fisted and oafish attempts I’ve seen and just plain stupid. There comes a point in everyone’s life when they really should just mind their own business and let other people mind theirs as well. This is most true for people who aren’t smart enough not to act like bulls in a china shop. You may have wanted to help but you just ran the patient over with the ambulance — oops.

It really boggles my mind how hurtful people can be in the scene. I keep saying it’s like high school but at least those people have raging hormones to excuse their insensitivity and self-absorption. What’s the excuse for adults? We’re all people that are ripe for ridicule in the vanilla world and yet we have to spend time cutting up each other as well — the people who are supposed to be supportive? I’ll tell you right now that I only suspect who the person was behind the sock puppet but have no proof other than the circumstantial. Even if I did have proof that it was a particular person, I don’t think I could bring myself to plaster their name here just to shame them. I’d want to but I wouldn’t.

This kind of shit is really starting to wear me thin. If you have something to say to someone then go ahead and say it. If you don’t have the guts to say it to their face then shut up. Going behind people’s backs to make someone look bad is real amateur hour and just not good any way you look at it.

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3 Responses to “A Little More About Drama”

  1. Isabella Says:

    Thank you, for this.

  2. Well said Rad. It’s especially weak when they are posting under the guise of “helping”, when their true intent is just to spread poison. A cowardly act that speaks volumes of their lack of character. If everyone dismissed such drivel, the pathetic offender would have no outlet for their poorly executed little attacks. What then? Perhaps some time to reflect on their own neurosis without trying to inflict it on others? We have all been witness to acts just like the one you speak of, your post serves as a sound reminder why some people are just worthless.

  3. Thankfully, I have no knowledge of the incident in question. So I’ll turn to the larger question of why the scene can be so fraught with drama. I suspect a large part of it is our reliance on the internet to communicate. I’m told that studies demonstrate that people are more open on the internet than elsewhere, which can be more than a little liberating for those of us who came of age in an earlier time (you know, like the 20th century). That openness leads to the kinds of friendships that become like family.

    The flip side of the coin is that people also feel much more free to flame people and sow dissension on the internet. It’s an ugly fact of life. Without in any way making light of the incident you’ve described, I still have to wonder if it’s possible to have the good of the internet without the bad.

    That said, basic courtesy, civility, and the willingness to be upfront in interpersonal interactions should really be the norm. Yes, we’re an unconventional community, but it doesn’t give us the right to be malicious or rude.

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