So You’re Going To Shadow Lane

I’ve written about meeting people at spanking parties both generally and with more specific advice. Now I’m going to touch upon one specific party but I’ll mention all of them. It is really the Grande Dame of parties and the one that was my first real big party: Shadow Lane.

The Shadow Lane party is coming up on Labor Day weekend in Las Vegas. My lovely wife Sandy and I are definitely going to be there and we look forward to seeing you if you’re going to be there as well. I went to my first Shadow Lane event in the fall of 2005 when it was held in Palm Springs, California. I admit that I was pretty nervous then and had yet to really get my spanko sea-legs under me but I came away from it having had a whole lot of fun and having met a lot of people who are now friends of mine. So for those who don’t know, here’s a little overview and analysis of the event for first-timers.

I have to say from the beginning that Shadow Lane is an adult event and the organizers expect people to be adults while finding your way around. There are certain set events, like the vendors fair and the Saturday night banquet but all the other “events” during that weekend are hosted by party-goers and not the organizers. This is in contrast to some of the East Coast parties that have many pre-planned events in what I like to think of as “cruise” or “resort” style. These are activities that are set up so that partiers almost always have something to do. Shadow Lane is not set up that way. They arrange and host an event and pretty much expect that people will have made connections ahead of time or will be making connections when they get there. Then what is there to do?

Actually, quite a lot. If I was going to Shadow Lane for the first time, I would make it an absolute necessity to try and meet a couple of people online ahead of time, whether on a message board, in a chatroom or through someone I already know. Assuming I wanted to play at the party, I would probably be trying to arrange play sessions ahead of time. I would say that it is preferable to try and make a few connections ahead of time but it’s not one-hundred percent necessary. If you are a person who has no problem meeting people in person and getting into conversations then I’d say go for it.

You will want to get to know people for one other important reason — the famous and/or infamous suite parties. In recent years, some folks have been nice enough to open up their suites for all to enjoy (within reason, of course). However, like anything else in the scene, you can never make assumptions. A lot of folks want to keep their suite events as invite only either due to space requirements or just because that’s what they feel like doing. Walking into someone’s space without knowledge of the need of an invitation is not good form. Those suites whose owners have kindly opened up to anyone will be spread by word of mouth, any party you happen upon as you’re walking by, ask whether it’s private or not before starting to drink their drinks and eat their food (or sleep on their sofa).

One point I want to conclude with is that it’s not as much of a free-for-all as I might have made it sound like. Shadow Lane party-goers are really some of the friendliest folks in the scene and it’s almost guaranteed that you will get to know some very decent people if you give it any effort at all. Hey, even if the party itself is not all it’s cracked up to be for you, there’s the gambling. The hotel has a very nice sports book as well so you can enjoy black jack while betting on the ponies.

Above all, you are there to have a good time and not to infringe on the good time other people are having. That’s the best advice I can give to people going to any sort of spanking party.


2 Responses to “So You’re Going To Shadow Lane”

  1. I like, and agree with your distinction between ShadowLane parties and Boardwalk Badness or Florida Moonshine. Shadowlane requires a bit more effort on the party of attendees to create the outcome(s) they want, and they will be disappointed if they think the hosts are going to hold their hand, organize ways for people to connect, etc. That’s not to say Shadowlane isn’t a blast – it is – but it’s much more a “hands-off” approach by the organizers than other parties we’ve attended. You’re on your own.

    Your advice about networking ahead of time is perhaps the most important takeaway here. Network, get on the Shadowlane bulletin board, and make some connections with others before you get here if you can.

    It’s not IMPOSSIBLE to have a great time without doing some prework, but it’s going to be easier if you do.

    Good post.

  2. Hehe, we prefer to think of it as free form.

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