How To Meet People At Parties, Part Two

Now that we’ve done some of the preliminary work and covered the bases in the first part, I’m going to go ahead and get into some of the finer points of wedging ones foot in the door. Much of this may be “for beginners” but those of you with experience can also follow along and add to it in the comments section.

So that vanilla relationship of yours has finally come to an end and after years of harboring spanko thoughts you’re finally ready to take the plunge by attending a spanking party. Certainly attending a party is not necessarily the first step or even a step at all — some folks are probably happy enough meeting people online for private play or perhaps not meeting people at all if that’s what they choose. However, a person wanting to get into the mix of things can’t wait for the mountain to come to them so attending a spanking party of whatever size becomes the thing to do. There is also the coolness factor if that’s what it is. You hear about all the fun going on “over there” and you’re “over here” missing out on it. Hence, spanking party.

So you buy your ticket and book your airfare or make some other travel arrangement and you’re ready to go. Last time I said the best way to get your feet wet is to join a message board or some other social networking possibility that’s related to the kink or the event itself. You can show up and say, “Hi, I’m here now”, but that’s some pretty boring shit. You’ve got to put your best foot forward in the most concise manner possible. Here’s an example of a simple introduction:


New Member Saying Hello

This may not seem such an interesting subject line and you are free to adjust accordingly but I always feel that at a glance it tells me exactly what I need to know and what to expect when I start reading. Concise is nice.


Hi all. My scene name is Tashkent and I live in Central City. I’m a Top that loves disciplinary spankings, roleplay and often just spanking for the fun of it.

Two sentences in the person reading knows not only the scene name and where they’re from but the major flavor of their kink. From this point forward you break into a little about yourself.

I’m an easy going person and try to look at things in life with that famous Central City sense of humor. I love getting into conversations on almost any subject even if I’m trying to remember what just nervously came out of my mouth. When I get past my initial nervousness (sans ticks), I’m fine. I’m certainly looking to make friends especially before the Big Party later this year but am here mostly to meet good people and from what I’ve read here, it’s a good place to do that.

OK, blah-blah-blah — the rest is whatever you want to add in to give an “in conclusion” to the message. It doesn’t have to be too long and it’s actually good not to put too much there. A lengthy message full of twists, turns and a day-by-day autobiography is more than a person needs to know right off the bat and probably would bore the crap out of them. Keep it short, keep it simple. What I’ve done above is told a little about my demeanor and an interest or two. I’ve thrown in a little self-deprecating humor and told them that I’m here to be friendly and that I’ll be at the “Big Party”. Once I get into further conversation on the message board, in chat or via email, then I can get into specifics about things.

One thing about self-deprecating humor, it should always be about something that humanizes you and connects you with other people. Everyone gets nervous, everyone sweats, everyone gets clumsy every so often, etcetera. By pointing out a minor negative point, you are simply telling people you’re not perfect — just like them. Don’t take it too far because it won’t be self-deprecating anymore, it will be self-insulting. Telling people you are one notch above gargoyle in looks or that you are a shut-in surrounded by pile of comics is not going to connect you with many people. Also keep your political or religious views off the radar screen for the most part. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be yourself totally but know your audience. For example, telling me that Glenn Beck is a “genius” will get you pegged as a moron right away.

Most importantly, don’t come on like a runaway freight train. An introduction that identifies you as a horny guy who is only interested in getting to know submissive women will be spotted a mile away — especially by women. The women in the scene are pretty fucking savvy about ferreting out a guy that’s a douchebag. Heck, most guys in general have a sixth sense about douchebaggery in other guys. The scene that you are entering is populated by many types of people and narrowing your focus on friendship to a select few while ignoring the rest will not go over well with most.

I hope that helps some of the folks reading out there and stimulates others to offer up their own advice – the comments section is open for you to ask questions and give opinions. Next time around, I’ll mention the Shadow Lane party specifically because that’s what I feel like doing.


5 Responses to “How To Meet People At Parties, Part Two”

  1. Karl Friedrich Gauss Says:

    Thanks for writing these tutorials. Look forward to part 3!

  2. Damn, you’re good. Seriously.

    There is a lot to be said for joining a site and then sitting back and watching/reading for a day or two to get the flavor of the place before jumping in.

  3. Clever article and full of waggery
    (Had to think of a rhyme for douchebaggery!)
    Can’t wait to see you both.

  4. luckkerto Says:

    My old lady is on the adult community
    What should I do? I possess in no way seen this.
    It’s there branch naked.
    And this is my wife.
    What someone tell me.
    I am horrified.

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