I’ve Finally Figured It Out

I hate vanilla people.

I know it’s probably prejudiced for me to say so but at the very least I am amused by their vanilla-ness. I don’t mean those people who might harbor our kind of thoughts in their hearts yet live out vanilla lives. Those are the folks I feel sorry for even as I hope for their liberation from a bland existence. I’m talking about full blown vanilla people, devoid of any kinky thoughts, who go through their lives doing stuff on the way to doing more stuff — then they go to sleep. Lots of these folks are not even vanilla, they are “clear” like a pane of invisible glass that is not noticed until one runs right into it.

I think what galls me about vanillas is their snickering attitude about what it is we and other kinksters do, as if they were the superior ones. Fools. Sure, whenever some politician is caught spending money in some S&M themed strip club, it’s all the rage to mock. Let some famous golfer mention the word “spanking” and suddenly every newspaper writers little doggy ears perk up at the chance to drive someone in the dirt a little further. Crime where there is the hint of leather? Front page story in 400 pt headlines and always with a little wink. Where did vanilla people get the strange idea that they are superior? I certainly didn’t give them leave to think this way. Vanillas seem to have come to some odd conclusion that they are in a position to look down on us as a way to be noticed — otherwise I pay them no attention at all.

As an aside, I am looking at a young woman at Starbucks who would look perfect in the 19th century wearing one of those dark Victorian dresses that go from right under the chin all the way down to black shoes with only a slight break for horizontally striped stockings. You’ve probably seen pictures like this where some woman is dressed in an outfit like this posing next to a statue of a lion or some bicycle with a giant wheel. The thing is, the vibe I get off this totally demure looking woman with her hair in a tiny ponytail and wearing narrow conservative glasses is that she’s a freak. Total say yes to any immoral act, set the bed on fire freakdom displayed right here in front of my favorite gender deficient barrista. Contrast this with the loudmouthed “captains of industry” sitting two tables away. Their idea of fun is getting drunk at a bar, playing squash for lunch and talking about how much money they are making and what car they are buying with that money. In other words, the very fruit of vanilla boringness conveniently parked right next to the restrooms where they belong.

Now go out and think bad thoughts. The worse the better.


7 Responses to “I’ve Finally Figured It Out”

  1. (laughing) Rad, you are brilliant. I so admire people who will say the things that others wouldn’t dare to even think.

    Let me preface this by saying I couldn’t agree with you more. But just ’cause I feel like playing Devil’s Advocate, isn’t this a sort of reverse prejudice? “I know you’re going to judge me, so I’m gonna judge you first”? Does “vanilla” automatically equal “superiority complex”? What about our kinky superiority complex — thinking our lives are much richer, more open and more worthwhile than theirs?

    I agree, the media treats us like freak shows. Spanking is played for laughs and titillation in the mainstream TV programs. They have no clue what we’re about. But is our attitude toward them much better?

    Just curious about this stuff. Good blogs make me think.

    • It’s not waters fault that it is wet and it’s not our fault that we’re more sexually liberated than the buttoned up people that snicker at our antics. Truth be told, my blog was obviously meant to be taken as mostly tongue-in-cheek but the hint of annoyance at the vanilla world’s view of us is genuine.

  2. “Where did vanilla people get the strange idea that they are superior? I certainly didn’t give them leave to think this way.”

    win 🙂

  3. Rad, you’ve got it completely wrong. Kinky people are the funniest thing on the planet and it’s only right to laugh at us. I laugh at us all the time, so it must be even funnier for someone who has no experience of it. Anyway, how do you know there’s no kink in someone you never met? Your table of businessmen may have been dressed in frilly women’s panties under their slacks.


    • It’s the smells. Kinky people have a certain smell that can only be detected by other kinky people. The evolutionary reason for this is obvious.

  4. Rad, you crack me up. My husband is vanilla – but has his kinky side – it’s just not spanking! So…is he a vanilla or a vanilla/fudge?
    See you soon!

  5. Rossington Aluminium Windows Company

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