My Fill Of Profiles

It’s not restricted to Fetlife or any particular kinky social networking site but I feel I have little room in my brain for yet one more personal profile that reads like advertising-on-steroids (or viagra).

I’m going to write this without pointing to any specific people although I could certainly cut and paste sections to illustrate. However, I think I can make my point without ridiculing individuals even by implication so I won’t.

I do a lot of click-click-clicking when I’m on Fetlife which mirrors my Web browsing. One thing leads to the next and I’m wandering from discussion to profile to writing to photo and then back to discussion as nauseum. I find that I enjoy clicking on profiles out of curiosity — sort of a way to get to know people a little better who I don’t know at all in real life. I learn about kinks I know nothing about from the people who practice them and read slices of life that show me how diverse the wider scene really is.  What this also does, of course, is open me up to instances of “too much information” or the lengthy screeds of people who online seem to suffer from an odd perspective on reality. Even this stuff is interesting to me.

Then there are the profiles that make me cringe. I’ve found that the vast majority of the profiles that make me recoil are written by men. They start with a nickname that hints at the content, usually something that speaks of how genuine, pure and great they are or perhaps that they are the best at something or other. Wow, “the best” — makes me want to read on and learn from “the best”. The profiles hinted at by the nickname never disappoint me. Either the writers have egos that create a distortion field around their perception of themselves or they are the kinky versions of late-night pitchmen sans the kitchen helper. Even though I fight a series of eyerolls, I often read these profiles in their entirety just to get the fullest picture possible of this person. Not only are they “the best” at whatever it is they are doing, they are the bestest of the best and, dammit, you need to know that right now. I’m never surprised that when I scroll down to the end of these profiles, there’s the little section that tells us all that only a narrow definition of play partner need apply. What a surprise.

I think what bothers me a notch above the others is the person that professes to some sort of “purity” of what they are doing. “I am a pure spanker”, “I am a pure sadist”, “I am a pure bondage-ianismo”. Please, just shut up. Even a certain brand of soap is only 99 and 44/100% pure. If the greatest of soaps can admit to faults, what does that say to all of us? Please tell me because I’m not sure what that means even though I wrote it.

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3 Responses to “My Fill Of Profiles”

  1. I’m sure there’s profundity in the soap comment, Rad, even though I don’t understand it either. Perhaps contemplating this issue will allow us to hear the sound of one hand clapping, and not against a bottom.

  2. Pure drivel, you mean?

  3. Okay, the first thing I did was scramble over to Fetlife, hoping I didn’t use the word “pure” to describe myself. I didn’t. Whew!

    I think it depends on context, Rad, if it’s pompous or not. I’ve used the word on occasion, say like …I’m purely a cheese pizza person. All it means is that I like my pizza plain. No toppings.

    I’ve read some of the profiles you’re talking about, though. There’s always those who’ll think they are the best of the best. The “One Trew Sub” for instance … those who think only they know the Way, the Truth and the Light (and I think I probably just blasphemed here) and if you’re not like them then you have not acheived “puredom.” I just find them amusing.

    Re the soap, the only thing I know that the 99 and 44/100 percent pure can accomplish is making me feel purely sick. Bleh …

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