The Age Of Enlightenment

Although I got bitten by the spanking fetish bug early in life, I did not “come out” until the age of 41. I think about this a lot.

Recently, there’s been a lot of talk of generations and people of different ages mingling in the scene. I think for the most part, it’s a non-issue for a variety of reasons. Others, especially members of the NYC-TNG group, have waxed eloquently on the subject and in a much more well thought out way than I can. I’ll leave that discussion in the realm of “been there, done that”.

I can’t help being aware of my age especially as I travel through my forties. In the few short years I’ve been in the scene, I’ve been more than a little fortunate with the reception I’ve gotten and the success I’ve had doing things that ten years ago would have seemed a fantasy. There are times, though, that I almost feel the need to “get it all in” now because there will quickly be a time when I will definitely be on the downward slope of my scene experience. So the thought is often in my head that if I’m going to make more videos, make them now. If I’m going to play with this person or that person, play with them now. If I’m going to be successful in making friends and being a real part of the scene, do those things now. The ticking clock is always in my head.

I’m an overthinker, clearly. However, there are times when I consider my overthinking as merely a very fine lens focused on reality. I leave the house every day with an attitude — I’m heading in such and such direction so get out of my way. I have coworkers (ones that don’t interact with me that often) that see me walking through the halls of my job and then tell me I have the most “determined” look on my face and in my body language. I guess that’s my way of projecting that I don’t need to be told where to go or what to do, I already know those things and nothing is going to deter me. But having an attitude like the one above doesn’t make reality change. It may color my perception of reality but it doesn’t change a thing.

So, yes, I do worry about aging as do millions and billions of other humans on earth. I get aches and pains where I didn’t have them before or have to visit the doctor for something I would have shrugged off not too long ago and wonder if the “end is near”. I suppose this is why I try to participate in as much as I can that’s scene related as well as be involved in the backroom discussions — I’m trying to use the lightning in a bottle that I’ve already caught before it dissipates.


6 Responses to “The Age Of Enlightenment”

  1. try identifying as ” a little girl” and be facing 44 come Spring! :O!

    Kidding— I know it doesn’t apply.

    As a Top, I think your ‘age’ is in your favor. I realized a “scene” existed when I was 28.. yet I still feel strangely as though precious time was ‘lost’ prior to then. There does seem to really be a plethora of younger folks, aged 19-25 or so ,in the current social spanking scene.

  2. Geeze, Rad…you were 41! A young pup! I was 50 before I took my step into the scene…You’re so f-ing lucky!

    @Lisa – Oh my gosh – 44? You’re so young – embrace it – enjoy it. I look at every party and every foray into the scene as “this might be it”…I could have had such a freaking good time from 44 on!

    I agree – Rad’s age is in his favor.

    I’m sort of jealous of the TNG groups – they know what they are and what they want and go for it – more power to them. I’ve known since I was 5 that spanking was an interest, and it took me 45 years to do something about it! Way to go, TNG!!!

  3. Lisa mentioned being aware of the scene before taking part in it. Rad, when did you first become aware that you weren’t alone in this interest, even thought you weren’t ready to jump into it yet?

    • I’d say reading about Shadow Lane at the Sportsmans Lodge — yes, I know that sounds like a suck-up plug but it’s the truth. I read about it in Stand Corrected which I had subscribed to back then (before a vanilla relationship made it near impossible to have spanko items around the house). But it always seemed like that land somewhere over the rainbow that I could only dream about yet never involve myself in. I had cold feet and had not yet gotten over much of my shyness in life. Later on, I heard about SCONY parties in NYC and had planned on attending one — this was somewhere in the late 90s. Unfortunately, someone on a.s.s. or s.s.s. made some derogatory comment about the event (probably a bitter man) and I never went because of that.

      So I’d say that I knew about a spanking scene some time around 1990 or so (not exactly sure) but it took me another 14 years to get involved.

  4. My school days were spent in ‘merry olde England. So I grew up on the so called ‘English Vice’. Early on in life, I wanted to spank my history and geography teacher. I wanted to bend her over her desk, raise her dress waist high, pull down her knickers, and cane that voluptous bare bottom of hers 25 stinging painfull strokes. And I am still dreaming about to this very day.

  5. I don’t think age is much of a deterrant when it comes to socializing in the scene. We’re always going to have this one very HUGE thing in common that bonds us. But, it is definitely an issue if – like a lot of people – you are looking for a mate of a certain age. I’ve been to many a spanking party, walked in, and realized that I was one of only a few 30somethings. It’s so common at gatherings to NOT find women my own age, that I am surprised when I do.

    As for “getting it all in.” I would venture to guess that the curtain will fall on your acting career at some point, but you’ve probably got a while before that happens. Are you going to look or act appreciably different between your mid 40s and your mid 50s? You might even get sexier with age!

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