Brief Thought: Dominant?

I honestly don’t even know what this means when it comes to me and my scene life. I never would have considered myself dominant because the BDSM definition of it doesn’t match what my fantasies were growing up. My thoughts were spanking, spanking and more spanking — often traditional in scope. It was nearly always OTK with few implements and none of the real verbal dominance that I find myself engaging in now. If I “dominate” people at all during a scene then it’s either by accident or just what I consider the common sense thing that I should be doing at that moment.

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3 Responses to “Brief Thought: Dominant?”

  1. When you boil most kinky activities down, they wind up in the simple formula of Dominant/submissive, thus the “D/s” term

    You, the spanker, are in control of the scene. You direct the flow of the spanking, the what and they why. You are taking charge.

    This makes you the dominant, by the barest definition.

    So to me, yes, even simple spanking is D/s play.

  2. When I first met you, I’d have said top/spanker. Maybe it was projecting because that’s what I wanted. I think we all change over time and our kinks evolve and grow with us. After watching you play with others, and getting my own play time, I personally would say you’re “a dominant”, but not always. When you’re punishing me, you’re dominant, yes, but it’s a far more domestic feeling which feels more top to me.

    I love to just be spanked and spanked and spanked, thus making me a spankee/bottom. Sometimes, I like it to be more controlled, less about what I specifically want, more about the dominance, and thus, my submission. And those times, I might even say I’m a submissive.

    Do what feels right, no matter what it’s called.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    sometimes the best things are organic

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