Habitual Rule Breaker

I tweeted the word “iconoclast” this morning which prompted this thought: The rules that some Doms set up for engaging with their subs don’t work for me. Not one bit.

I’ve always hated rules. I don’t mean the general sort of eye-rolling dislike that most people have, I’m talking about a visceral hatred. I don’t just recoil in horror from rules and regulation but find that I often feel the need to ignore them altogether if I consider them inapplicable to me — and I often do. My hate for rules and the people who wield them is the reason I’ve been so successful in the corporate world</sarcasm>. I often adopt the phrase used infamously by William Shatner during a recording session, “Please don’t tell me how to do it — it sickens me”. I won’t go into how I feel about things like “illegal” downloads because I fear it will piss off people who don’t put quotation marks around the word illegal.

I know I have an issue with authority, namely, that I don’t recognize it as such especially when it allegedly falls above me. Yes, I have to go along to get along and often pay lip service to my bosses (then do what I want anyway) but in no way, shape or form actually believe in their authority. For lack of a better term, I’m a corporate (and pretty much everything else) apostate. I can be fired (and I have been) or I can have someone get in my face about this rule or that but it won’t help. I’ll just call his mother a “whore” and watch him get more pissed off — a lost cause for him.

In the scene, I often can’t be bothered to actively buck authority or even acknowledge it. I’m busy doing what I enjoy with people I enjoy doing it with, I have no time for obstacles preferring to avoid them by stepping around. This is especially true of scene relationships that come with sets of rules for one person in that pairing playing with others. My philosophy is simple: If I want to play with someone, I’ll ask them to play. If there is a restriction that I need to ask the permission of someone else, a Dom, Top, Daddy, Agent, Monkey, etcetera, then it simplifies matters greatly — I don’t ask nor do I continue desiring to play with that person.

Here’s the crux of the matter. If I don’t like authority in the first place, there is no way in hell that I’m going to put myself in a subservient position to some Dom by having to ask permission. Some might see it as a bit of etiquette that’s part of the scene but I see it as putting someone over me and that hierarchy is not really to my liking. It’s the same reason I don’t call people “Master”, “Lord” or “Sir” unless I’m doing it mockingly. This guy isn’t my “lord” — he’s just Jimmy or Petey or Schlomo. I always say that I’m not hurting for play partners and it’s the absolute truth. I might see someone that intrigues me enough that I’d like to play with them but the addition of the aforementioned road block is enough to get me to move on to the path of least resistance. Whether it insults anyone or not, the truth is that no one is so desirable that I would lower myself just to touch their ass.


11 Responses to “Habitual Rule Breaker”

  1. You know these are traits of a narcissist? 😉


  2. “Master Monkey” has such an alluring ring to it, though! 🙂

  3. “I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”
    Robert A. Heinlein

    I live by that quote!

    But, amusingly, that just comes to society around me.

    I’ve chosen to be in a Master/slave relationship, and within that, I value my rules very highly — cling to them, even, because they give me nice safe “black and white” things to hold to in a world full of confusing greys.

    I love knowing that if I do X I am doing everything right, and am not fucking up in some inexplicable way which I won’t figure out until later and then will feel really bad about (this happens to me a wee bit too often for my own comfort!) and that if I mess up and don’t do X, that I will be punished, which will not only help me remember to do it next time, but then also ensures it’s “forgiven and forgotten” by the person I offended (i.e. my Master.)

    But we use those terms in a very “us” way — next time we all hang out (which I hope is soon!), ask my Master about “Lord Thundarr” or “Troo Dominate Master” and we’ll all have a good laugh! 😉

    Oh, and just so you know, I really enjoy your blog posts, but haven’t had much time to comment recently!

    • I’ll put a bit of a fine point on what I’m saying. I have a great deal of respect for what people do among themselves especially if they have rules and regulations or whatever. That’s fine and is not my thing. But that’s the point, it’s not my thing. I don’t think what other people do is silly or ridiculous in any way — I don’t really care. If it works for them then fine. But I’m not involving myself in it. Maybe I’m an arrogant egotist or a narcissist or whatever diagnosis people might have for me but the fact is that I refuse to put myself in a position where I’m answerable to some dude. No fucking way. And to me, asking permission is akin to putting myself in that position.

      This is the reason that if a restriction like that exists then I just don’t approach that person for play. I can be their friend, their pal, their comrade — but play doesn’t work for me if I have to beg for it.

  4. Is that how it works? One top would have to ask the “master” or whatever for permisison? Why can’t the girl go ask her “daddy” or whoever if it’s ok for her to play? I don’t see it as you needing permission to play with her, but as the girl needing permission to play. Does that make any difference to you or does it still seem like you are being put in a subservient position either way?

  5. I could imagine you saying all this out loud, and it was sort of funny.

    I’m skeptical of a lot of rules, but I don’t tend to notice them very much. I’m a little over aware of laws and things that could possibly be illegal, but as far as ‘rules’ go, I don’t tend to pay attention – intentionally or unintentionally. For instance, a lot of ‘scene rules’ – why would they apply to me if I don’t have a relationship with that person? As far as etiquette, isn’t common human decency enough? Why should some demand more or different just because they’re in the scene and call themselves ‘master’…

    Good post 🙂

  6. I forbid you to reply to this comment.

  7. Wonderful post, Rad. You made your point very clearly, and it’s one that I agree with. Red tape is a personal pet peeve of my own, and in the scene, it’s especially obnoxious. I do, however, agree with Munchkin. It’s not exactly YOU needing to ask HIS permission to play with her. . . . . It’s her needing to secure permission. It’s his job, supposedly, to look out for her, and he can’t do that if she’s off playing with every Master Monkey that comes around. 😀

    I greatly enjoyed this post– Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  8. I haven’t really witnessed the situation you describe, but here’s my take on it anyways …

    If two people within the kink have that sort of relationship, then that’s cool. It obviously fills a need in both of them, and although it’s not for me it certainly is “ykinmk … blah blah blah.” If a bottom/sub needs to get permission to play, I don’t see anything wrong with that. As long as the top that’s waiting doesn’t wind up waiting more than a moment or so for the answer. However, any top/dom/master who requires *you* (or any top) to come ask permission, well … that reeks of pretentiousness. In that case I absolutely agree with your final sentence. Their thing is their thing, but any pompous ass who gets off dragging others into it deserves your ridicule.

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