Formality Is Not My Normality

Outside of games designed by other people, rules don’t really work for me.

At my core, I’m pretty much an anarchist and an iconoclast. All right, who am I kidding? I’m what you would call a habitual rule breaker and someone who bounces very hard off of any authority. This is why I’ve done so spectacularly well in the corporate world</sarcasm>. I know there are rules to life and to the scene that make sense because they create a system that allows people to get along without stepping on each other. I have no problems with rules like that because they are logical, I just don’t like anything¬† that has a formal feel to it.

I could role play the Victorian gentleman if I wanted to and probably think it a lot of fun. However, if I was transported to the Victorian era and had to live like that, I would feel quite stifled in a rather short period of time and unable to keep up appearances. I can be a paladin in a game of Dungeons and Dragons but would rather not live that life 24/7. The same is true of my kinky life. I don’t mind taking on a role but don’t like any sort of arrangement that requires me to wear a hat all the time. Sometimes I just like being me.

Although I’ve said that I don’t like labels, the way I would describe my general demeanor is probably somewhat paternal. I can be other things and am on occasion but I think that the “paternal” me is the one that probably crosses over between my scene and vanilla worlds — it is part of the every day me as well. However, although I may take on that role in a general way with this person or that, I don’t respond well to a codifying of it. Some folks might be able to deal with a world of titles, rules, regulations and, yes, formality, but I do not and cannot. It just is not me at all. I can be a certain thing for someone but prefer it to be in a looser and more organic way — let what happens just happen rather than set up a distinct framework.

There are some things that I do a certain way all the time but those are few and far between. For the most part it’s when I’m at work when being efficient and getting the work done requires there to be a set way of doing that work. That same sort of thing doesn’t work in my scene life or vanilla life at all. I can’t feel I have to do something because I will rebel against it because it will feel like work. That’s really the crux of it. My scene life is my enjoyment and my fun, I don’t want it to feel like work. Perhaps it would be ideal if the formality that some folks like was part of the fun but that’s not the way my mind works. I like going with the flow, letting things happen the way they do rather than forcing myself to fit into a neat little box. It’s only then that I feel the sense of fulfillment that I strive towards.

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One Response to “Formality Is Not My Normality”

  1. Paternal.

    I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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