A Thought Filled Recap

I was feeling extremely tired when I posted my last remarks about the Shadow Lane party. Yesterday, my first day back to work, was full of clean-up duty fixing the disasters that sprung up because I wasn’t at work for 3 days. I was also feeling a little down because of my tiredness and the fact that my sinuses were busy readjusting themselves to New York weather. Now that I’ve had a day to recuperate, some final thoughts on the party.

I’ve been asked a bunch of times, both at the party and afterwards, whether I had a good time or not. Certainly I did not play as much as I have at previous events but that had more to do with just not feeling like playing rather than than the lack of play partners. Actually, the handful of play experiences I had were quite good. As I’ve said a few times since then, it was quality over quantity. I was glad that I got to play with both people I enjoying playing with and at least one new person who I was hoping I would get a chance to connect with. I was laid-back and mostly going with the flow of the event even though I was not furiously setting up sessions. I wasn’t depressed or anything like that, just not feeling as energetic as I usually am at parties.

I do have to admit that I concur with my earlier assessment that I was not feeling the party vibe — at least not until Sunday. I think this is the reason I did not seek out play with people with whom I’d certainly want to play with. Some missed connections because of this but I know that I would not want to engage in anything if I wasn’t really feeling in the proper mood at that time. Apologies to the folks I promised I’d play with but I didn’t think it would not be fair to them to just go through the motions due to my disposition.

One other thing, I don’t like the drama that often surrounds and permeates the scene — I just don’t. There’s not a lot I can do about it other than to do my best to smooth things out if possible. I’m often just resigned to the fact that no matter how much I might want everyone to get along, it’s just not a reasonable or realistic expectation. I mediate when I can and if appropriate but only if it’s feasible.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad party at all. There’s something to be said for stepping back to actually have meaningful conversations rather than manically jump from one scene to another with a minimum of significant interaction.


9 Responses to “A Thought Filled Recap”

  1. Glad to hear that you did have a good time and did play a bit. I did miss playing with you but as you said, I would only want to if you wanted to and not just do it out of obligation (and the reverse is true I’m sure).

    What I did enjoy seeing and catching up with you and Sandy. Thanks for coming to our couples party we enjoyed your company (and your answers to our spanko game!)

    Hopefully we will be able to connect at a future party.


  2. Knowing that you weren’t quite feeling the vibe allows me to exonerate myself from my cowardice in not asking you if you wanted to play … even tho I was eyeballing you most of the weekend. It’s not you, I’ve never been able to work up the nuts to approach anyone I don’t know well. I did enjoy getting to know you just a little better, tho, and I still think we should have raided that *other* suite and helped ourselves to their food 🙂

    So. I’m putting it out there in public. Rad … when the vibe is good and you’re in the right space, I’d like the opportunity to play with you. There. I said it.

    • Had I been in the right mental place, I would have definitely asked you this time around. Next time, I will.

      There, now I’ve said it.

  3. ah, but who is gonna do it next time? Glad you had fun, even if it was not measured in sheer numbers…

  4. I commented along these lines on “The Last Full Day” but I wanted to add another note. There’s nothing that feeds my occasional feelings of saturation and separateness at a party more than witnessing or being peripherally drawn in to scene drama. There’s been a bit of that going around in my world these days, and while it doesn’t completely spoil my fun or keep me from play, it does keep half my brain running in the opposite direction!

    • Re: Drama

      I just have to get to the point where I acknowledge that it’s there but move on without rubbernecking. Involving myself, even in a mental way, with things that don’t concern me is not beneficial.

  5. Hi Rad,
    sorry for you that Sadowlane wasn´t as good as you may expected….maybe next time.

    We couldn´t always be in the mood to spank…lol….

    Me too, I´m not always in the mood the get spanked but for my husband thats no reason to let my bottom unspanked……lol

    Kisses Apple

  6. I concur.

    The drama thing is too much. It gets to be a bit “high school” at times (not criticizing anyone in particular, just commenting). I realize what we do is different than just a social visit and emotions can run high or bubble alarmingly to the surface, but there’s so much who’s-doing-what and what’s-that-all-about and why-are-they-with-them that I just want to say, “C’mon, people! Relax! Let’s just have a good time!”

    As for your own pensive attitude at SL, we all go through these cycles.

    Thanks for sharing.


  7. I tend to withdraw when I see the drama. I want people to like me, but when I start to realize that loyalty may be at the expense of other friends, I just want to back off. Unfortunately you don’t always realize that this is what’s happening at first.

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