The Harshness of My Harshness

There are times when I just enjoy being mean.

It’s all well and good to be the loving Daddy on occasion. Some gets spanked and it’s followed by the hug along with words that say, “It’s all over now and I know you’ll be good”. There are other times when I say Feh! to that and just want it to hurt because I do. There’s a time and a place for all sorts of scenes but my experiences would be mighty boring if all I did was end each session with a hug and kissing the “boo-boo”.

There have been a couple of play sessions that have fallen into this category lately. It is not about daughters or schoolgirls or anything like that, it was about me, someone else, dominance and pain for their own sake. It’s a totally different sort of headspace than doing a pointedly domestic scene. The emotions that exist in the domestic sort of scene, even if feigned in a roleplay, are missing or muted when it’s all being done just to do it. The kinds of punishments might be exactly the same whether spanking, strapping, caning or paddling but the focus is different. The headspace being created is centered around me making someone “take it” and the other person allowing themselves to let go and be controlled even though what is happening is unpleasant physically. These kinds of scene are fun and unique because I find that I do the more emotionally connected scenes more often. I give myself permission to push, to be hard, to be mean and enjoy the feeling of it, the rush that I get from it.

There are also punishment sessions that are more punitive than what the loving parent would give. These are good, too. It’s about the focusing of an underlying anger that is just under the surface driving the action forward. It’s not about spankings or cornertime or writing lines or anything like that — it’s about making someone “pay for it”. This happened last night when I was caning my wife. I had always used the cane in a very ritualistic manner. Definite number of strokes to be administered, a certain amount of time between strokes and so forth. This time it was different. I didn’t bother counting the strokes nor doing anything but watching her reactions and achieving what I wanted to achieve. I watched the welts develop across her bottom and saw it get redder and redder. It wasn’t about ritual, it was about pain, it was about punishment, it was about her struggling to lay still wondering how many strokes there would be. She told me today that there were about 60 — probably more — all hard. I enjoyed myself tremendously especially because it was followed by more intimate activities.

It’s all well and good to be the disappointed dad or uncle — I enjoy doing those things and being those people. Sometimes, though, I just like doing it to do it.


4 Responses to “The Harshness of My Harshness”

  1. There’s something very sexy about the sort of domination that you describe above, especially because of the intimacy between husband and wife. How she would have managed to count the strokes, I can’t imagine. I can imagine that she is feeling it today sitting at work, lol.

  2. Dana, I can’t always keep track, but sometimes I get curious about the amount I’m getting… It was pretty intense, and I needed it!

  3. Marie (Kate James) Says:

    Nice 🙂 I love these scenes. These ones that hurt for the sake of hurting. I don’t get them in more intimate settings, unfortunately, but I can get a taste of them with close friends 😉

  4. Wow. And I thought I was the only one who sometimes likes the hurt “just because”.

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