Pet Peeve Tuesday

Things are piling up in my head so it’s time to let loose with a little thing I like to call “a rant”.

Like it’s a big surprise that things get under my skin. Lots of things get under my skin on a moment to moment basis — it’s just the kind of neurotic that I am. When it comes to the scene, there actually are things that bug me that I have yet to acknowledge. These are things that I’ve had a tendency to swallow but that doesn’t mean I have to like them. Here they are in no particular order.

  1. Whatever the agenda, don’t rope me into being involved in group scenes. I don’t like group scenes at all — it just is not my “thing”. I enjoy playing one-on-one with people because it’s the only time I can really develop the headspace that I strive towards when I play. That doesn’t mean I don’t like playing in public — I do. It means I don’t want to be part of a group scene where I’m standing around waiting my turn or some crap like that. “OK, now you go…now you go…now it’s your turn…”, etcetera ad nauseum. One of the main reasons that I hate scenes like this is because I always feel that the person or persons who are bottoming just don’t want to be there. Like me, they also got coerced into participating and didn’t want to be killjoys. I have an issue playing with people who don’t really want to play with me and crowd scenes seem all about that.
  2. No matter who is in the room, when I’m talking to you, you act like you give a shit. I go to lots of parties and enjoy meeting people. I like meeting new people and being introduced to friends of friends and so forth. In my book, there’s nothing worse than meeting someone, striking up a conversation and standing there while they’re scanning the room looking for someone better to talk to. What’s equally irritating is holding up my end of the conversation and realizing that this person is not listening to me at all. Manners anyone? Do people have that short of an attention span that they feel antsy in five seconds? Now I know that I may not be the most interesting person in the world but (in my not so humble opinion) I am certainly not boring. So my only explanation is that the person I’m speaking at is incredibly rude or has a mental disorder of some kind. If the latter, I hope it gets better, if the former, well, it rhymes with “go truck your shelf”.
  3. Your drama is not my drama. I play with people with one simple criteria that boils down to this: Because I feel like it. Honestly, that’s pretty much why I do anything that I do that isn’t a requirement like going to work especially when it’s my fun time. If one person I play with has an issue with another person I play with, I really don’t give a shit. Unless one person committed a felony against another (misdemeanors are OK) or is secretly a member of a hate group, nothing one person says is going to make me change my mind about another person I like or enjoy being with. People have friction amongst themselves, I understand that — so go iron it out. I’ll even help broker a ceasefire if you want but I’m not going to choose sides unless there is a real reason to do so. Yes, there are circumstances that will put a person on my shit list but that’s only if someone causes actual harm to me or someone close to me. I reserve the “nuclear option” for people who speak ill of my wife. In that case, they’re done.
  4. The word “heiney”. Don’t do it. Just…don’t.
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12 Responses to “Pet Peeve Tuesday”

  1. Hello from Lincoln (or I as I now call it “Kinkoln”), Nebraska!

    With group scenes, more people does not necessarily result in more joy. Although, that’s supposed to be the idea . . . I guess. Now, the talking to somebody who doesn’t even bother to act remotely interested – that’s annoying. It’s one thing if I’m being a bore, but when you just want to say “hi” and exchange a few pleasantries, it does seem like a person ought to be able to, at least, act involved for a minute.

  2. munchkin Says:

    Oh I’m so glad someone else does not like the group play thing. Maybe I’m selfish but I want a spanking experience to be more about me. I want the guy focused on me and what we are doing. I don’t like just being one in a line-up. That seems extremely impersonal to me. And usually it seems to be a line of girls and one or two guys. Seems great for the guy (the ones that want to spank as many bottoms as possible) but not so much fun for me, I feel like I’d just be a random butt there to take its 10 swats or whatever and then pushed off down the assembly line. I need at least a bit more personal attention than that.

    I also dislike spanking “games”. The litte ice breaker thing at FMS was ok, just 5 little swats, people approached you at a comfortable pace and you didn’t have to play if you didn’t want to, but typically I don’t like that kind of thing.

    I also have trust issues. I once saw a game of spanking musical chairs. It looked like they had a blast for the most part, but it is just not for me at all. For one thing I hadn’t played with most of the guys in the chairs, so I know nothing about how they play, they know nothing about how I play. A random girl would land over their lap and they would smack away. As it went on some of the guys got more and more enthusiastic with their swats and paid no attention to who the girl was or what her play level was. A couple girls started trying to skirt around certain guys as quickly as possible because they were hitting so hard and fast. Clearly they didn’t want to be spoilsports, but were not really enjoying that level of intensity in what is a fun, lighthearted game. I just don’t have it in me to be that open I guess to letting someone just whale away at me at random. I end up feeling a bit guilty being such a non-participator, but hey I gotta look out for me 🙂

    • radagast Says:

      Let me just clarify one point: If there is an organized spanking event or game then I have the choice of participating or not. That’s fine because more often than not, I probably will decline but will observe nevertheless. The thing that irks me is getting pulled into spontaneous scenes where I feel saying “no” will be seen as unfriendly. Don’t like to be put on the spot especially when some person next to me is coaxing me even though I might have declined initially.

      As for your musical chairs example, I think most players should err on the lighter side of things rather than get carried away.

      • munchkin Says:

        Oh definitely, I have no problem with there being games and it can be fun watching and seeing others enjoy it, I just don’t enjoy participating myself. Which as you said, is fine when it’s a play-if-you-want situation. I just hate when it is treated as if you are “ruining things” or being uncooperative somehow if you aren’t interested. Which happily doesn’t happen often, just sucks when it does pop up.

        That’s also why I usually tend to dislike wedding receptions. People don’t seem to be able to comprehend when someone is perfectly happy being on the sidelines visiting and really truly does not enjoy dancing. And will demand that you “just have fun!!!” and try to force you onto the floor whether you find it “fun” or not lol. Being a “wall flower” in some situations is not necessarily a negative thing if the person is content being there.

  3. gwendana Says:

    I did that spanking-as-a-group thing once at Paddles, and it was very unsatisfactory. I felt like just another slab of meat on the table. Just not my cup of tea.

    I’m wondering how other male tops feel — whether spanking as many as possible women is as satisfying in reality as it seems to be in fantasy. I suspect not, but I also suspect that most would never admit it. It seems to me that at some point it becomes a feat of athleticism for the man, which brings out his competitive side (with a nod to one of your previous posts).

    • radagast Says:

      It depends on the scene. If it’s a classroom with teacher plus students, then it makes sense for it to be that way. If it’s merely for fun, then I suppose it is much less satisfying on an individual level and becomes more about group dynamics and camaraderie.

  4. You aren’t the first person I’ve heard that finds the “heiney” word objectionable. And I know one lady that practically melts when that portion of her anatomy is referenced by that word.

    In the early days of the scene, a lot of men and women really hated the word “ass” and only felt that words like “bottom” were acceptable.

    As I told one lady that gave me a hard time, I will be goddamned if I’m going to memorize specific approved word sets for multiple individuals. Then I told her to bare her buttocks, a word that was like fingernails on a chalkboard to her. And she did as she was told, but with an expression on her face that could have curdled milk.

    • radagast Says:

      I agree with that. If I have to remember what words I can use with what person then it inches away from fun and enters the realm of work. I get paid for my work.

  5. This is actually inspiring me to let loose a little bit with my pet peeves, and I generally only do that on my vanilla blog. I’m wondering if I can keep mine down to a hundred.

    Like yourself, one of the top ones on my list is number 2, when you are talking to me act like you give a shit!!

    One time I was at a party and in my usual jovial self introduced myself to anyone who I didn’t know. One guy gave me a look of scorn and emitted a pfft as he walked away. It was all I could do to remember my surroundings and suck it up, save for making a scene. When I heard after the party that the guy was from NY, I totally regretted not giving him the NY welcome in response.

    I think I will give this a shot myself this week, pet peeves in the scene.

  6. Lol, you’re too funny man 🙂

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