Question: Can You Be Watched?

If you’re spanking or being spanked, can you have people in the room watching? Does it inhibit you or not? Does it matter who is watching?

When I play, I often find that having people in the room can be both invigorating and intimidating. On the one hand, I can feel as if I’m giving a performance. I feed off of the energy of the people watching especially when I can hear barely audible remarks about the action or gasps from the watchers. This often happens when my wife and I are at the club or a party “putting on a show”. Paddles has a nice room that’s attached to the pro domme house, Pandora’s Box, that is sometimes open for use by club goers. It has a medieval theme but has a good amount of kinky furniture perfect for someone to bend over or lay on for a strapping or caning. I think we both get a lot of energy from an audience and we like doing it. That’s not to say that all of our play is for public consumption but it’s fair to say that when we are in that mode, the watchers do not inhibit us but egg us on — something that, I think, gives us both another level of headspace.

It’s also true that there are times when having someone in the room can get into my head and make it somewhat impossible for me to be myself or to do what I want to do. This often happens when a person’s partner is watching or somewhere near. I sometimes get the feeling that I’m being scrutinized and I’m completely conscious of not going over a particular line whether one exists or not. In cases like this, when the person in the room gets inside my head, I often consciously pull back what I’m doing, making absolutely positively sure that nothing is going to happen that will alarm the partner. I admit that these fears are often unfounded and are probably my own paranoia working its magic on me. I’ve played with partners in the room with no adverse reaction on their part — heck, I’ve played with partners who were keen on watching because it was part of what they enjoyed. That feeling of unease is something I’ve been working on over the past few years and have gotten under control for the most part.

So I put it out there for the readers to comment. Do you have issues with watchers?


17 Responses to “Question: Can You Be Watched?”

  1. Depends on what kind of spanking it is, but in general if we are in a place where watchers are possible then usually i have absolutely NO problem with watchers.

    As for my partner watching me be spanked by someone else….Zed doesn’t really scrutinize while he is there. There are only a select few people who I will play alone with, so he is really there to make sure nothing really off the wall happens but not necessarily to watch every single little move. He knows that I will communicate with whoever is spanking me if I feel the need.

    He also usually is not really watching but taking pictures of the spanking (with permission of course) 😉


  2. IrishRed Says:

    I’ve been in enough party/public situations now where I’ve been observed that I can probably say it doesn’t bother me at all. That surprises me, because if I’d been asked several years ago I’d have said I would be too uncomfortable having people watch. A year or so ago I got into a roleplay in one room while there was a crowd of people within earshot in the next room. At first I was embarrassed, but by the time we got rolling I couldn’t have cared less who heard what and wouldn’t even have noticed if they’d all gathered in closely to watch. I don’t know if I’d have that same nonchalance every time, but so far being watched hasn’t been an issue for me.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    I really like seeing ‘herself’ get it from others although she might kill me for saying so 🙂

    If she’s chosen to play with someone, that’s her informed choice and pretty much always good enough for me. I get to kick back, relax and enjoy the show from a completely different perspective than usual. Watching her facial reactions and responses to an alternative style of play to my own can be most intriguing. At this stage, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest although it took a while to get to that comfort level.

    I still get a wee bit nervous when topping in front of others especially at the very start of a spanking.

  4. Apologies! That was me just there.

  5. When I first went to Paddles, I thought that I would have a lot of inhibitions about being watched, but surprisingly that was not the case. I also got to watch a lot of other people, particularly women, being spanked. I like to watch, but it’s not the same thing as getting to watch a real punishment spanking. I have never witnessed that, but it is a fantasy of mine to have that experience and also to receive a real punishment myself and have that witnessed by others. I imagine laying over the end of a couch and being mercilessly strapped for punishment when the doorbell rings and the pizza delivery guy sees me there with my flaming ass in the air. My spanker asks him if he would like to watch…

  6. I like being watched if that aspect is part of the mutual understanding of my punishment. ( i.e. humiliation) Its also cool if someone finds you and/or the Top ‘attractive’ in whatever way. Hell, all our egos need a good caress now and again.

    I don’t prefer being a watcher. I’m too oddly empathetic with the pain of the spankee. Weird.

    • radagast Says:

      I’m generally not a watcher because I feel as if I’m intruding on something.

      • M of M&k Says:

        Rad: Remember, for some being watched adds to the erotic humiliation of the spanking experience. They spank where they can be watched because of how it enhances the experience.

    • SeaQuest Says:

      Mutual understanding is a key word here. Being watched does seem to heighten some of the activity, and yes, it is cool if someone finds you appealing. It does stroke the ego! Fun!

  7. Yeah, I can be watched. I much prefer to be watched by friends instead of strangers. Because, if people are going to watch, it’s nice to be able to guage their reactions. With friends, it’s easier to tell what they think.

    I usually get locked in when I play, so it would be hard for me to be distracted by other people around me.

  8. kernalgeneral Says:

    Great blog,
    Both Joe and I both llike being watched, and love to watch a good scene.
    When you go to a public place you should expect to watch and be watched. We both prefer the public setting at Paddles,as opposed to a party where everyone plays behind curtains. Not to say theres anything wrong with partitions, they are just not our style. Joe especially likes to watch me being spanked, especially when he can be part of the scene and request the use of certain implememts, and offenses.

  9. radagast Says:

    @M: I totally understand that. My issues with it are admittedly my own.

  10. M of M&k Says:

    I don’t have any problem being watched while spanking someone. I do NOT want them interfering with the scene or trying to “drag” it in the direction they want it to go. If its a couple, the spanker can simply be a tool to getting the couple the experience they want and listening to the input from the husband can be useful.

    My partner likes to be watched, and for us, its an experience we share by my being there for all her spankings. She feels safer, even though by the time she has said “yes” to a spanking, she’s already indicating she feels safe. Yes, I watch her for signs of stress, but, I’m not the hall monitor and the spanking is the top’s to complete. We spank with me watching her get it because it turns us both on.

    No one can spank her like I can. On the other hand, I con’t spank her the way another top can and its fun to see her get it in a different way. We don’t normally do “punishment” spankings, but she enjoys a punishment scene from time to time. I don’t interefere in her spanking scene unless I truly feel she’s unsafe or something she really doesn’t want is, or is about to, happen. That’s only happened twice in the six years we’ve been in the spanking scene.

  11. I like being watched some times and at others enjoy playing privately. Both have something that is enjoyable to me. Being watched adds that element of energy from other people, the embarrassment that is uncomfortable yet hot, appeals to the exhibitionist side of me, and many times adds to either a funny silly scene or an intense one. On the other hand, there is also something very special by playing privately with someone that I trust and just letting my reactions go where they will. There is no audience but just the other person and myself creating our own energy. I find my head going into a deeper sub space and usually can take harder, more intense spankings than I can when playing in front of others. So, I guess my answer is mixed. Um…I like both??? *g*

    • swfloridabrat Says:

      Yes, to what Sass said! There is a time and place for it all.
      Gen. Sassiness

    • SeaQuest Says:

      Yes, there’s a time and place for public displays. I’d only do it in front of an appreciative audience (other spankos). You really can let go in a private setting. Although, a spanking out-of-doors in the nighttime, is yet another thrill that doesn’t mean there is an audience. A spanking partner of mine also likes using a one-way mirror to watch or be watched…without having the presence of people watching.

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