A Day Late

And decidedly a dollar short. I started to write something yesterday but it was all coming out completely and utterly negative. Didn’t really want to go there.

Not that this one is really all that positive. I sit here drinking black coffee because I forgot to buy milk yesterday. I must have milk in my coffee — it’s one of those things. However, it doesn’t really matter all that much in the long run because, frankly, it tastes pretty much the same anyway.

A lot of my scene experience seems to fall into that category as well. I play with people I enjoy playing with but not every experience is exactly what I’m looking for. As a person that likes to do discipline scenes of the olderĀ  person/young person variety, that’s the sort of vibe I look for in play partners — that match between us that tells me from the beginning that it’s probably going to work out. Now that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes I play with people just because I like them and because I look at them and say to myself, “Hmm, it would be fun to spank them”. In cases like that, where my head is one place but the actual act is in a different place, I just settle into the spanking action and let my mind fill in the gaps between what the person I’m playing with wants and what I want. It’s not optimal but it works well for me.

Then there are those time when I meet someone and the play is so perfectly matching what I enjoy that I come away from it wanting more and telling myself, “I must play with this person again and again and again”. This also happens more than one might think and in that lies the problem. Sometimes it just isn’t possible to play again because you’re not going to see this person — they have come into town for a specific reason and are not coming back until some future date. Unfortunate but it happens. The other thing that happens for me is when I have a great deal of desire to play with a particular person and it just doesn’t happen when we are in the same place at the same time — this happens a lot, too.

This is why I walked away from the SSNY party a little disappointed, mostly in myself for not being proactive enough. I tend to kick myself a great deal in general and driving home late Saturday-early Sunday morning was a road trip filled with lots of mental kicking. It’s not to say that I didn’t have a good time at the party but wanting to play with a specific person, really wanting to play with this person and having it not materialize gave me that feeling of just missing the bus. You’re half a block away and just before you reach the door, the bus pulls away. All you can do is wait for the next time and say to yourself, “If I had just left the office thirty seconds sooner”.


7 Responses to “A Day Late”

  1. Look on the bright side. At leaset you have frequent opportunities to play. Most people should be so fortunate.

    • radagast Says:

      Yes, every single person on earth should be thankful for what they have rather than what they don’t and in a perfect world it would be so. However, Peter Gabriel was very observant when he wrote the words:

      Everyone want to be what he not, what he not
      Nobody happy with what he got, what he got

  2. I’m sorry you didn’t have an excellent time, Rad. Sometimes, that’s the way things work out. Still sucks.

    I had to leave early, and therefore didn’t get to play with a number of people I had wanted to – but I did get to play with others that I was hoping to connect with – you being among them. As to the others – I anticipate the next party with glee.

  3. I know that is a disappointing experience and I’m sorry you missed out on playing with someone when it meant a lot to you (and we all have people who are special to us in some ways). We were at a party recently and while there were many people there I like to play with, who I have played with in the past, only ONE asked me during the whole time we were there. I am sure there were reasons (there always are!) but still, I felt rather unwanted. It does not mean it will happen at the next gathering. It does not mean they don’t like me. It just was a weird circumstance where they were all busy I guess.

    I’m hoping to play with special people in the very near future. People I miss every day.

    • radagast Says:

      It’s not like it’s an epic tragedy but approaching “annoying” when it happens more than once. What happens is that over time, I’ve refined my play style and my fetish to that which gives me the most joy and like to play people with whom that style “clicks” with.

  4. Marie (Kate James) Says:

    Well said Rad.

  5. Honestly, I don’t think I can relate…..lol…….is that negative?

    I may come away feeling as if I should’ve spent more time with someone who I may not get to see again for quite awhile, with whom I really wanted to spend time. But despite being spankos at a spanking party, I don’t really kick myself over “missed opportunities” to play. I know it sounds corny, but it’s not why I go believe it or not!!

    I guess I can relate tho to not being able to spend time with someone I wanted to spend time with, regardless of the activity. It does kinda suck.


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