Ask Professor Rad

Disclaimer: Rad is not a real professor but often acts like he knows what he’s talking about when asked a question.

Please follow me for this week’s letter.

I received the following e-mail just yesterday, paraphrased here for brevity:

Dear Professor Rad:

I’m going to my first spanking party soon and am feeling nervous about it. I like to be spanked. What if no one asks me to play? What if I go and don’t feel like playing? Am I wasting my money?

Signed, Maybe A Little Too Frugal

Dear Frugal:

First of all, it is not waste of money unless you make no conscious effort to engage people. Since you were able to reach out to me via e-mail, I’m assuming that you have the capacity to communicate with others. Most people at these parties are not going just to hang out by themselves but to meet other people. Some folk are better at it than others and they are easy to spot by the fact that they seem popular. Get your bearings and talk to those people or to the organizers of the event. These are the folks who know people there and will help you make connections — the rest is often up to you. I’m not saying that every party host or guest will have the time to help you make introductions but most try to make sure their fellow party goers are as happy as they are. I’ve found that the spanking scene is full of good people who help newcomers all the time.

As for play, you are not obligated to do anything you do not want to do. If you go and would rather socialize rather than play, then make that clear if someone asks you to play. If you change your mind half-way through the party, then you can go ahead and participate if it feels right to you. In the end, you are in charge of how much or how little actual spanking you engage in. Getting back to the theme of wasted money, many folks go to these things and don’t play or play very little, but the connections they make while there pay dividends in the long run. For the first few parties I went to, I played with only my girlfriend (now wife) and no one else. I did not feel that it was a waste of time or money even if I could have played with others but declined. However, I met so many wonderful people that it made subsequent times that much easier to connect with those who I wanted to play with — I also became more at ease around folks and learned how to approach them.

As to the notion that no one will ask you to play, that is a self-fulfilling prophesy especially if you come across as unapproachable. Shyness often comes across as unfriendliness especially when it’s in contrast to the way others are behaving. Yes, there are times when someone takes pity on the wallflower but that is not something to put your hopes in. And don’t think it has that much to do with looks either — looks are in the eye of the beholder to begin with. I’ve found that the “attractive” people in the scene are just as nervous as the rest and often wonder why no one is asking them to play. As long as you are friendly, talk to people (especially other bottoms) and come across as being there to have fun, it will all work out. Trust me, people are there to play, that’s why they went to a spanking party.

OK, that was fun. I’m hoping more people send me e-mails asking my advice, it makes me feel important.


10 Responses to “Ask Professor Rad”

  1. Dear Rad…

    My friend rescued four adorable kittens and they need homes. What should she do?


    • radagast Says:

      The first thing you want to do is get the kittens to a vet to be checked out. Cats born in the wild can have diseases like Pago-Pago, Bango-Bango or Adroit Dropswizzle. If they’re fine, have the vet spay or neuter them — it’s for the best. If your friend found them together then they are probably from the same litter — try to find them a home together as they most likely take comfort in each other’s company.

      Or you can give them to Fran. Your choice.

  2. Dear Rad,
    My friend flunked algebra, and she cleverly intercepted her report card so her parents wouldn’t find out, but now her dad’s like going to call teh skool to find out where the report card is. What should she do?

    • radagast Says:

      Tell the truth before dad finds out on his own is the best course of action. It certainly will probably earn less punishment than the alternative. She can also consider running away.

  3. Dear Prof. Rad,

    I love to give spankings with my hand but don’t like the pain (to my hand). What can I do?

    Mr. Hand

    • radagast Says:

      This is a concern that many spankers (including your’s truly) have voiced. Unfortunately, there is no set answer especially for the person who desires to give handspankings.

      Therefore, I consulted Japanese martial arts expert Nishio Yukimasa about toughening up the hand. His answer is translated below:

      To toughen the hand for striking another person, it is important to realize that the hand is not just an extension of the self but an extension of the All-Self that connects the entirety of existence. Therefore, it is not just important to increase strength in the hand itself but to make the hand become one with that which is being struck. Only in this way can we achieve that which we set out to create

      OK, like most of you, I have no fucking idea what that means but it sounded pretty. I’d say just use one of those spring hand exercisers for strength and slap a brick to toughen up the skin.

  4. Dear Prof. Rad,

    We don’t believe in ghosts here at Shadow Lane, never have. But the luminous floating figures that stare at us through the windows late at night have us questioning our position.

    Skeptical in Las Vegas

    • radagast Says:

      Dear Skeptical:

      There is probably a completely logical explanation for any figures you see “floating” outside the window. If could be a reflection from a tv set or perhaps light from passing automobiles playing tricks. Are you there isn’t a nightly parade outside your home? It might be inflatable floats.

  5. We’ve narrowed it down to two solutions. Either quit drinking or drink a little bit more, then they turn into pink elephants which are far less disquieting.

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