In Conclusion

Wherein our writer attempts to put a period at the end of a long sentence and have the final word. For now.

I’ve been musing for quite a bit over the last year about my vanilla versus kinky life and something I say at my job translates into what I hope is somewhere near an endpoint.

When on the job, especially when instructing newer people to the ins and out of the business, I like to say there are three ways of doing everything: the right way, the wrong way and your way. I have come to the conclusion that this thought is useful in my own struggle to find balance with my kinky and vanilla thoughts. There is the vanilla life, the kinky life and then simply my life. It’s not a revelation that shatters any number of infinite earths but something that it took me a little soul searching to discover. When reading the comments from my previous post on the subject, I came to understand something I already knew — that there is no one way to juggle the different aspects of this life, there is only the individual way. Again, not a huge revelation but a step towards realizing that there is no either/or about it but something somewhere in the middle.

I do know that at this point in my life, the kinky side is the dominant one (no pun intended). I feel more alive and genuine when around people who share my kink and when I engage in those activities. Mostly it’s the former, being around other kinksters, that makes me feel the most comfortable about being me. This certainly can shift over time and probably will, the same way that a few years ago kinkiness was a “hobby” attached to my vanilla life rather than a defined aspect intertwined with it. I know that I’m different than a lot of people in that I really did not have many friends before I entered the scene in 2005. I’ve discussed the reasons why I drifted away from people (mostly due to a relationship I was in) but the fact is that it’s what happened. My entry into the scene reversed that trend so perhaps that’s why I put so much importance on it compared with a rather dull and ineffectual vanilla life.

For me, entering the spanking scene has not just been about fulfilling long held desires although that was the initial reason for doing so. What’s ended up happening is that it has made my life richer by providing me with things that the vanilla world never really did. Friendships, good solid friendships, are one of the many reasons that my loyalty to vanilla life has waned over the years. I feel no need to be loyal to something that was not serving me well.

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