Manufacturing Mustard

What the fuck does this have to do with the scene?!?

There’s an old Abbott and Costello routine about mustard that I’ve always found rather funny. Then again, I find Abbott and Costello’s word-play comedy to be utterly hilarious — I love words. For those that did not click through to watch the video, the gag is that Bud and Lou are buying hot dogs from a street vendor. When offered mustard, Lou declines saying that he does not eat nor like mustard. The hilarity is from both Lou’s over-the-top doomsday scenario about what will happen if he eats mustard and Bud’s over-the-top insistence that not only is mustard a must, Lou’s declining of it will bring an entire industry to a halt. Funny.

I don’t like absolutes about behaviors and likes especially when they are foisted on others. A person’s tastes are their own and are so subjective as to be rendered meaningless when viewed through another life. The scene has its share of folks that insist that one must try a certain thing and can’t believe that these folks don’t recognize the wonders of this particular thing. This is true of a lot of folks that go beyond the niche of spanking and into other BDSM acts and relationships. I see people online in various communities extol the virtue of Masters and slaves, Doms and subs, as well as all permutations of relationships. In a nutshell, these folks have found their nirvana and can’t understand why us “lowly” spankos would rather not come along. Unless we do — it’s our choice either way.

I also don’t like purity and that’s something I see a lot of in the spanking scene. Any time the word “pure” is added as a prefix, I get a whiff of a certain amount of snobbishness that seems to espouse the notion that there is only one “true” way of doing a particular thing and that all others practicing their own brand are pretenders.

My kink is my own and it is what it is. Other folks have their own kink and it is what they want it to be. I don’t engage in competition to see whose is better or more pure. I like to spank, in fact, I love to spank. Let me take someone across my lap and I’m a happy camper. Let me have someone laying face down with their bottom bared waiting for the next fall of leather across their backside and I’m equally thrilled. Actually, I’m in heaven. That’s the way I get my kicks on or off Route 66 — it’s what gets in my head and what works for me. I choose play partners based upon their matching what it is I enjoy and expect that they do the same when looking for Tops. I need no “religion” of purity to attract people to me nor set me up as better than anyone else because, frankly, I don’t really care how other folks do it. I don’t make my likes or dislikes a secret and I think that’s enough stamp of approval that’s needed.

I equally dislike the notion that having specific tastes is in any way limiting. Like I said before, I love to spank. Doing a disciplinary scene works for me totally and that’s all I can ask for. The idea that I need to practice X, Y or Z because I’m somehow “missing out” is unadulterated nonsense. When I go to a buffet, I don’t need to sample every item in the trough to waddle away satisfied. I eat the ones I like and ignore the rest — not because they’re “no good” but because they are not to my liking. Spanking works for me in more ways than I’ve yet explored — I’ll work on that for a while.

The scene is not about having to do things, it’s about wanting to do them. It’s about choice not coercion. Actually, I like ketchup on my hot dogs as well as onions in a spicy thin tomato sauce. I’m not saying that mustard should be banned or abolished, just that I’m not going to eat it.

Don’t get me started on mayonnaise – yuck.


12 Responses to “Manufacturing Mustard”

  1. Sigh…yet another fine blog you’ve written, Rad.

    I love how you put into words the thoughts that swirl around in my brain.


  2. Susan, something’s always a-swirlin’ in this house.
    Ketchup on hot dogs, indeed. I’m a purist. I use Gulden’s Spicy Brown.

  3. ..this is actually very funny. I spoke of mayo ( more specifically, my disgust for the stuff) in my blog today. Oh, and I’m sure you’ve seen it but this months New York magazine has a mouthwatering article on the best dogs to be had in your fair city….

  4. Awesomely said, Rad. Perfect opening, and wrapping up. At first, I was like, “WHERE is he going with this?!!?!?” But, piece by piece, it came together. 🙂

    Hey, Rad. . . . . . Mustard? Whatever.

  5. Nothing beats spicy Chinese style mustard on a hot dog. Hell, I’ve even used Japanese wasabi.

  6. Jasmine Says:

    In North Carolina from whence I hail, we eat our hot dogs with chilli, slaw and onions, just so you know.

  7. I’ve seen hot dogs with red cabbage on them too.

  8. Pineapple: good on/in EVERYthing! My newest chicken marinade is olive oil/soy sauce/pineapple juice .with a few shakes of lime, cloves, ginger, and allspice. Let a chicken baste in this bath for 24 hours…roast and grill..then tell me there isn’t a higher power!!

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