There’s The Rub

On the subject of post-spanking rubbing: Where is all this rubbing going on and am I missing out on the fun?

I knew this would happen.

Look, let’s face it, I would not be involved in this-thing-of-ours if I was not an ass freak on some level (perhaps many levels…ah, mystery). The fact is, I like derrières of all shapes, sizes and shades of red — it’s just the way I am. So when the subject of rubbing came up during the talk I attended on Saturday night, especially in the context of acceptable touching, my ears perked up.

During the talk, I expressed that I did not rub, at least not consciously. A lifetime of shyness has made such things completely off limits unless asked for specifically. I will not spontaneously burst into fits of rubbing when playing with people because, honestly, it makes me feel like I’m taking advantage of someone. Perhaps it’s only related to one of my many neuroses but running my hands over someone’s bottom, even if a somewhat stimulating thought, makes me cringe. It’s the paranoid thought that the one time I do it, the play partner will jump up and scream. This will, of course, bring people running with cries of “J’accuse“, I’ll be escorted from the premises and disgraced forever as That Ass Toucher. I can’t afford to have that happen.

But now I’m hearing that it’s OK to rub. I hear stories of lotion and rubbing and all sorts of carrying on and I’m thinking there’s a secret party going on somewhere that I’m not invited to — and I hate that. If I’m to believe the rhetoric, rubbing is this year’s black — it’s all the rage among the In Crowd. The society of ass rubbing enthusiasts is hiding in plain sight laughing at the shy non-rubber. That would be me. Hell, they’re probably laughing at me because I don’t even like to hug. These hugging ass rubbers are lotioning up at my expense, chortling at my social awkwardness and singing the refrain, “None for thee, more for me”. Dammit! That’s it, I’m done being what I think is a somewhat conservative spanker — I’m rubbing. I’m rubbing everyone just for the hell of it. In diners, the street, elevators, the subway, work — I’m going to start rubbing because I’m not going to be left out in the cold.

But you know what, it’ll probably be over before I even start. I wouldn’t doubt that halfway through my third paragraph, the rubbing craze ended. I’ll be a has-been before I was a been, latching onto yesterday’s fads like some kind of spanko Rip van Winkle. See what happened? I slept too long and missed the party. It’s over and I never knew the joys of the rub and all it encompasses.

I knew this would happen.

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18 Responses to “There’s The Rub”

  1. Yup..you’re missing out all right.

  2. ok..that wasn’t me. WAY too short! lol. Seriously, VERY funny blog today!

    I think rubbing can be ‘part’ of the discipline experience, depending upon the role-play, and other times, I suppose it’s too intimate..even though spanking someone’s bare ass HAS been known ..once or twice.. to also be somewhat intimate. I think..as in so many areas in life, in depends on context.

    If a rubbing party occurs sometime in the near future, I DO hope I get an engraved invite..even if I can’t attend.

    Rubbing. It’s neat.

    • @Lisa – You crack me up! I love reading your replies…a lot of times they’re so pithy and on spot that they leave me thinking I can’t possibly add to them – but I always love reading them! Keep it up!

  3. Hilarious post!

    I have to say I am a definite fan of rubbing during a spanking. Not the creepy sort of rubbing, but the soothe away some of the sting so I can go onto the next round sort of rubbing. It’s nice.

    Of course, I pretty much only get spanked by people I know and am comfortable with. If it was someone I didn’t know very well then I might not appreciate it so much. I think most of my spankers have nicely rubbed a bit during a spanking and it just made it much easier for me. I’m notoriously wimpy though and can’t take much.

  4. Very funny post, Rad.
    True, rubbing is great, but best enjoyed with an ongoing partner or someone with whom you are more intimately involved. If someone I met at a party did the rub-bery thing with me, it would make me very uncomfortable. That said, with the right partner — if rubbing was not spontaneously initiated by the spanker — I would not want to be in the position of asking my top to “please rub me.” That is too close to begging.
    Also, you are not alone feeling uncomfortable with post-spanking hugging, huggery, buggery… especially in the context of a disciplinary scene.

  5. You are soooo funny! Reading this blog is like opening a present – you never know what you’ll find, but it’s most always “just what you always wanted”! How do you do it, Rad?
    I guess I’m out of the loop with the rubbing thing too. I love the rubbing/lotion thing, but only with Tops I’m comfortable with – guys I’ve played with and have a bit of a “history” with…it’s just too uncomfortable for me with someone I don’t know.
    Thanks for the chuckle today – way cool!

  6. Rubbing creeps me out. I don’t like it. Spank me all you want, but save the rubbing for someone else.

  7. Well, hello, little lady, do you mind if I dribble this lotion all over your creamy white globes … just a second while I snap on some latex gloves (snap) … and work it in (and by “in,” I think you know what I mean!). What? But young lady, it’s not a proper spanking without the aftercare. Now, you just get yourself back over those pillows and relax. Oh, yes, we’ll rub you ALL over … thighs, too. OF COURSE inner thighs. When I do a job, I do it right, young lady. Now spread ’em. Hang on. It’s getting mighty hot in here. Give me a second while I take off MY pants.

    Wait a sec! Where are you going?

  8. _rudely borrowing Rad’s blog for just a sec_ @Susan..thanks! Yeah, I often have a *lot* to say..and it just so happens to lead me down a path I may or may not like. If there is a spanking waiting for me at the end of that path, I am generally a happy gal.

    It’s QUITE the challenge to attempt to ‘add’ to Rad’s stellar wit but..I’m a person that enjoys a challenge. Glad you seem the same! Hope to see you soon… Lise

  9. Sandy? That sounds like quite the little ice-breaker, there! LOL! I have to snap on rubber gloves at work a lot..and each time, I sorta wish it was for a different reason! :-O!

    ew. (shakes head to dispel very unpleasant images of the day to day routines!)

  10. This is a VERY underappreciated issue in the realm of spanking etiquette. I once rubbed somebody who to took it the wrong way (literally and figuratively), at least they took it differently than I intended it. I meant it as a way of minimizing sting, because I was trying to go very easy this person. But, my attempt at caution backfired. The person thought I was trying to cop a feel . . . or something.

    Now, most of the people I have played with liked being rubbed. I would have to guess the vast majority did. So, I was kind of shocked that this one person was so taken aback by something I thought was harmless.

    And obviously, this is not a single exception – there are enough bottoms who are very touchy (so to speak) about ANY rubbing, that it certainly should be communicated beforehand that they don’t be want to be rubbed AT ALL. I’m still not sure if I was at fault for rubbing that person when they didn’t want it, even though this was not expressed to me beforehand. I tend to think that, since it’s already a given that I am going to touch her butt, that then if she has a specific problem with rubbing then it is her responsibilty to let me know that. It’s not like I was trying to slip my finger in her or something like that. It was was just a rub over the spots that I had struck with my open palm.

    I have not made it a practice to ask people beforehand how they feel about rubbing. But, what I tend to do now, is rub a little and if I can’t read their body language, I check in with them to see how they like it. Almost invariably, they like it. So, I don’t think I am going to add rubbing to my list of pf pre-play questions.

    Any feedback on this?

  11. radagast Says:

    My final word on rubbing (for now):

    The last thing I want to do is ask because the thought of asking seems totally weak to me. I could never sit there with a woman across my lap while I asked, “May I rub” — the thought sends a shiver of suck down my spine. Perhaps other guys would feel OK with that but I would feel like Mr. Dorky Dork.

  12. munchkin Says:

    I personally like the rubbing. Of course, I’m just talking more about, as others have mentioned, “rubbing the sting” out during a spanking. Nothing bordering on the more erotic seeming touches. No wandering hands/fingers. And I don’t want some guy I barely know rubbing lotion on my butt! It doesn’t have to become some big massage, but some rubbing does make it easier for me to keep going with a spanking, otherwise sometimes the sting of it makes me want to stop earlier.

    The Top I play with now has used rubbing to increase anticipation when giving hard swats and that was very interesting. He would rub for a few seconds on a spot he was about to hit hard, so I would get nervous knowing it was coming. Then once he did, he would move on to the next spot and I could worry about that one, lol. Sucked very much when he got to the thighs. He got a lot of squirming and whining out of me with that method, haha.

    Now, I’d be freaked out if a guy was all “Pardon me, milady, might I rub your bottom?” or something weird like that, lol, but a simple, “you ok with rubbing, or no?” I wouldn’t view as odd or weak at all.

  13. Laura T Says:

    I don’t care for the “aftercare” lotion rub. I’d rather slather on Aquafor myself at the end of the night. TMI, I know.

    During the spanking is something else and it depends on who doing the spanking. After some really hard paddling, it isn’t a bad thing.

    But yeah, Sandy’s scenario made me laugh. Lotion/rubbing… not a subtle thing.

  14. I like a little bit of rubbing durning a spanking, especially if it’s a hard spanking because it gives me a little bit of a breather. A friend once described it as compassion, and compassion durning a spanking is an absolutely deadly combination for me.

    Rubbing that goes on too long on the other hand, especially if there isn’t a lot of talking/banter/scolding going on just creeps me out.

  15. Oh, thank goodness I’d swallowed my coffee before I read this, or it would have ended up all over the screen!

    For me, rubbing or no rubbing depends on the style of the spanking. If it’s just for fun, especially if it’s hard, I like the break, the chance to feel the warm afterglow for a while before I have to get ready for the next round of blows that take my breath away. I also like it a lot during a warm-up. Just soft spanking doesn’t do it for me– I like harder bursts with breaks.

    On the other hand, rubbing in role play would totally creep me out. No way should the principal be doing that!

  16. I like bottoms. I like bottoms’ bottoms. I like rubbing bottoms if they enjoy it. At the suggestion of some of the women in FMS, we put bottles of lotion in every play room and I am told they are appreciated. I always ask if they would like some lotion (no, Sandy, not in THAT way) and do what they say.

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