Massive Drop This Week

Could the party have been so good that the post party blues continue to be this bad?

I’ve had it happen to me before but never for this many days after a spanking party. I can only describe The Drop as something akin to post-vacation depression except somewhat more emotional. I certainly do feel down and have since sitting in the airport on Monday. It’s not that I did not have a good time in Florida — I had an indescribably good time there. I just feel this sense of unease right now mixed with a little confusion.

I was trying to think of something to write today that might be a little brighter than this but could not think of anything — maybe tomorrow. I know that I’m thinking too much right now about a lot of things but that’s my curse for being a person that has to deconstruct every feeling, every action and every observation to distraction.

I came away from the party feeling good. I had some great experiences playing and just being with people. I suddenly find myself not feeling so good anymore and I’m not even sure I can articulate why. Who knows? Maybe everyone goes through this at one time or another in the scene.

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10 Responses to “Massive Drop This Week”

  1. I think it’s because you can get very, VERY close to people..sharing this kink.. and then…the inevitable ‘distance’ occurs.. and it stands in very stark contrast.

    The hum-drum aspects of vanilla life, with its myriad stressors…. sure can’t ever hold a candle to the euphoria one receives from a party .. when the mood/action is “right” ( for you).

    Sorry you feel glum. At least it proves you DID have a very good time.

    The weather sure doesn’t help!!

    • radagast Says:

      The weather does suck the life out of me when it’s too many days in a row of clouds and rain. Good thing I don’t live in Seattle.

  2. Yeah, I also wrote about this topic as well. For whatever reason, I was hit pretty hard this time around. I summarized with a friend that I am stuck between balancing fantasy and reality!! Was the weekend just based on fantasy and now the reality is occurring?

    I know part of my reasoning is due to my partner for the weekend. This is the one time of the year that I get to see her and that part sucks all on its own, lol. Part of that feeling was because at 4am on Monday morning we had the best play session of my whole weekend, finishing with a bang and then the airport awaited. Finishing on a super high and crashing to a super low.

    What I might do today is write down all the fun things that happened over the weekend, even the ones that might not sound like fun to others but to New Yorker’s will be hysterical. Maybe even a game of “Who said what” 🙂

    • radagast Says:

      I think you’re right about the fantasy versus reality except in my case, it revolves around the many emotional highs and lows as well as doubts that creep up about friendships that I have made. What is real and what is imagined?

  3. From all of the reports sounds like FMS was incredible. I am so happy everyone had a great time. Thank you for all the updates and tweets. It was fun living vicariously through you and Sandy.

    I experienced the same type of drop after Shadow Lane last year. I know it’s nothing like FMS, but it was my first party and it really threw me for a loop. I think that’s one of the reasons I dropped out of the scene for so long. I LOVED the feeling at the party, but that sub drop after was like nothing I had experienced before.

    I hope that you can look back and smile and know that there are great times to come in the future. (Easier said than done I know.) Maybe look at it as a gift, to appreciate your partner and friends more and as a kick in the ass to enjoy life more. It is way too short.

    D

  4. I’m being crushed with it this year and it’s a first for me. Other years I’ve been sad to have to leave my friends, but quickly settled back into real life.

    I’m still on vacation, but visiting family and having to censor everything I reveal about the FMS weekend so I feel like I’m walking on egg shells when I really want to be laughing and reliving the party.

    I don’t know if it is because I played a bit harder than I ever have before or because I played more or if it’s because I let myself go a touch more and let myself feel part of things and not so much the outsider, but this time round the thought of going back to the spankless real world for another year is about killing me. I’ve still got another step down to make – where I go from vacation and lots of people around to my more solitary life, so chances are in a couple of days I’ll get hit hard yet again.

    I wouldn’t have traded the weekend for anything though and eventually I’ll work through things and settle back to normal life.

  5. Your post-partum depression sounds completely natural to me. I haven’t had an intense party experience like FMS or Shadowlane, but I do know that I used to feel very unsettled and down following a particularly long and intense play session, especially knowing that the next opportunity for a comparable experience was a long way off.

  6. Wow….

    I used to suffer drop when I wasn’t involved 24/7 with my spanking partner. But I don’t anymore. I miss my spanko friends, sure….but I know I’ll see them again soon. The emotional impact for me always came from not having anyone at home to kinda cling to in order to offset the drop.

    It was indeed a wonderful weekend.

    g.

  7. Real vs imagined. Indeed. I hear that!

    from what I’ve been reading from FMS party-goers..seems as if THIS pandemic of top and sub drop this go-round is fairly keen.

  8. I think Iggy makes an important point. When we’re all together at a scene party, we’re not just among friends, we’re totally free to be ourselves, and we get positive reinforcement for doing it.

    How can reality compete with that when we go back to our day to day lives? I feel the drop after one of our parties and I make spanking videos for a living.

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