Tips For The Modern Partier

As of this moment, my wife Sandy and my trip to FMS is two weeks away. Let’s see if we can’t inform, amuse and infuriate with some handy and timely advice to those folks who might be going to Florida in June or to another party some time in the future.

There are plenty of readers out there who have attended big parties and small many times. those folks can read this and make mental notes because I’m going to ask you to add to this in the comments.

Parties that last for a few hours are hectic. You have to cram all of your spanking activities into a very limited time frame which sometimes means not taking a breath from scene to scene but also can mean disappointing some people because you may have promised to play but found you had little time. Big parties, especially multi-day parties at some hotel or another, afford you a little bit of a breather but sometimes not much of one. Sure there’s more time to play with this person or that but the perception that time is on your side can be fleeting because at the beginning of the trip, it seems like there’s so much of it.

On more than one occasion, I’ve gone to parties, whether Shadow Lane, FMS or the famous etcetera, and found that I just did not get the chance to get together with a potential play partner because I didn’t plan things well enough. Other times I’ve found that even the best planning can’t forstall an occasional sabo tossed into the works. Missed connections are tough to explain in the era of ubiquitous cell phones as is forgetfulness in the era of pen and paper. That said, shit happens. Maybe you had something in to eat and now are puking out your guts — this is a good reason to miss an appointment. Maybe you just played with someone who wasn’t all that and are equally puking out your guts — good reason as well. Whatever the case, things will happen that will ruin your strategic formulations.

Having a back up plan is very important in case things go awry. By a back up plan, I don’t mean going down the list of potential players like you’re looking for a last minute date on a Friday night, I mean leaving time for yourself to relax and have fun. Go down and sit in the lounge or by the pool or something, have an icy beverage and remember that you are on vacation, not on the job. I’m sure someone out there might think that they didn’t go to a spanking party to sit by the pool and read a book but I’ll tell you all a little secret — more play has come out of chance meetings when I was just “hanging out” than you’d imagine. I think the relaxed atmosphere of just kicking back brings drops the facades and lets people connect in a stress free way. Just my opinion but I’ve found it to be true.

One thing that I can’t restate enough times is that I’m going to these events not to spank everyone I come in contact with but to have a good time and let some of the stresses of my real life wash away for a little while. I don’t like adding to my stress by running around like a maniac forcing myself to play with everyone — I’ve done that in the past and pretty much come away from the endeavor exhausted. I like to play and do as much as I desire to do it but having making it about having fun with my wife and friends is really the key to my enjoyment.

Anyone have any practical or impractical advice for parties? Maybe just a thought or two about it? Now’s the time to chime in.

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11 Responses to “Tips For The Modern Partier”

  1. Take your vitamins and dont forget that little thing called SLEEP. A bottom’s pain tolerance shoots WAY up when refreshed and well rested for round two..three…NINE..or what have you. People ( tops and bottoms) can get so out of sorrts when sleep is severely compromised.

    Don’t expect too much and you will be less likely to be disappointed.

    I like what you said, Rad, about chance meetings..and I KNOW you don’t mean the “accidental” spilling of said cold beverage on you while you are taking a catnap in the sun, or ‘accidentally’ tipping your chaise lounge in the hotel pool! ( oh no.. I hope I haven’t given any bad girls any ideas!)

    But seriously– there is SO much planning of all kinds that go into executing and attending big parties..but the real delights lay in the spontaneous unplanned moments. Although you are in high demand ( smile) I DO hope you can relax..you AND Sandy.

  2. I’ll give the bit of advice that I personally aspire to follow, not necessarily successfully.

    – Stay humble
    – Stay positive
    – don’t get embroiled in petty disputes
    – Leave the past in the past
    – Be grateful for the opportunity to openly share your love for spanking and remember that there was a time in your life when you didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t have had that opportunity. Enjoy it and be thankful.

  3. wow @SD ..that was really good!

  4. Laura T Says:

    Don’t be so eager to introduce yourself or greet an old friend that you blunder into a conversation or scene. So many times I’ve been talking to Person A. Person B, usually someone I don’t know as well, eagerly comes in and interrupts the conversation and physically puts their body between you and Person A.

    I’ve probably done that myself, but man, that annoys me.

  5. Pace yourself! Pace yourself! Pace yourself! One SL party I was completely worn out by Friday afternoon…before the “official” party even started! So disappointing.

  6. walk around with your mouth completely hanging open..like I did at MY first SL party. ( circa 1994). we’ce come a long way, Baby!

  7. scChris Says:

    Go without expectation. Leave without disappointment.
    The Tao Te Spank

  8. IrishRed Says:

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed … esp if it’s your first party … BACK UP!!! Step back, re-group, find some quiet, private time, hit that beach or the privacy of your room, and BREATHE. It’s so important not to overdo or make too many commitments. Let the weekend flow, don’t expect too much from yourself or others, and have fun.

  9. Here’s another idea, which isn’t fully formed yet, but worth considering:

    People at Spanking parties are just people, i.e. their flawed just like everybody else, including you and me.

    One of the big mistakes I have made is to become so overwhelmed with euphoria – due to being able to fully engage and express myself among like-minded spankos on such rare occassions – that I (without realizing it) elevate these fellow party goers to mythic status. Suddenly every praise goes straight to my head, but the flipside is, that every slight and rejection cuts me to the bone! Ouch. So, don’t forget, we’re all just human beings, and inevitably for all the good, great, and wonderful moments, there are bound to be bad, awful, horrible moments too. All the sins we are guilty of: lying, cheating, greed, cruelty, spite, jealousy, self-pity, self-hatred, stupidity, arrogance, ignorance . . . you’ll come across all of these, and then some.

    You can’t help being burned sometimes, but you can try at least, not to make it worse than it has to be. One way to limit damage is to remember, we all just people, we all make mistakes, and we are all flawed human beings.

  10. swfloridabrat Says:

    relax and enjoy the company of the people…not just the Tops with whom you have been “dying to play” or the bottoms who are social butterflies…we are all people and like to be treated as such:) And bring both sunscreen and arnica!

  11. katy-lynn Says:

    ***HAVE FUN***

    Afterall isn’t that what it’s all about? Everyone has posted the best advice I can think of. I think the parties are what we each make of them, and that a successful party is different for everyone. I go to reconnect with friends and to meet new ones. The plan is the icing on the cake for me. I can’t wait to see you and Sandy again.

    5 days…. but who’s counting?
    🙂

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