The Real Thing

Nothing beats a real reason for a spanking in my book. There’s something about spanking someone for something they’ve actually done that is quite unque and potentially emotional. However, “real” does not always work.

Aside from the real reason spankings, I love to do role play. The reason for the spanking might still be real except twisted a little bit to mold it into a fictional vignette. I’m not a father nor am I a teacher, I may be an uncle but not of the Dutch variety. I’m just me who on occasion can take on a  role and do a good job because I really get into it — IMHO, of course. At the moment I’m playing, I am the character I’m portraying with all the emotions, thoughts and dialog that go with it. I don’t break character until everything is over and sometimes can do a session from beginning to end in character, never actually dropping back into my real life persona for a moment.

Some might look at role play as fake — it’s play acting or just plain method acting with an audience of two or perhaps a few more. There are times, though, when the role play scene is more satisfying than one that would be conducted between two people in their “street” personas. Even though I like real, there are occasions when it just doesn’t feel right to me. Many times this feeling of “wrongness” exists because I just don’t know this person well enough to be comfortable spanking for a real reason. Since I like my scenes to be “serious” in tone, I can’t quite put myself into that place with someone I’ve just met because I don’t feel able to convey that feeling of authority yet. Sometimes a more loosely defined sort of spanking works in this way — this is where I’ve learned to deal with bratting or witty banter because it offers some excuse. Finally, I begin to see the light about this brat phenomena — very wily, those bottoms.

The other issue I sometimes have is when I don’t feel I have the actual authority to be a particular person’s disciplinarian. If I don’t, then a real reason spanking makes me feel like I’m stepping on some other Top’s toes — whether the bottom I’m playing with gives me a momentary status or not. The uneasyness stems from a desire not to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong unless I am absolutely sure I’m not overstepping any boundaries. These particular scenes are sometimes hard to navigate because I usually know the person already and simple brattiness seems out of place or even silly. They are not impossible to do but it’s cases like this when role play comes into play and can get a good scene going.


8 Responses to “The Real Thing”

  1. This is so funny.

    I had similar thoughts on this very topic going through my head yesterday in a very random “astray” way ( walking into a japanese restaurant, of all places!) It came to me as this: ” why do I get almost…irritated …by the concept of ‘role play” ?

    Perhaps it’s because I walk around burdened with so much GUILT, I feel like I will never NOT have a ‘just cause’ for a spanking for real reasons.

    Maybe it’s beause I feel I can’t “act” or take ON a role?. ( and keep a straight face).. maybe because, like you..the tableau needs to be very serious .
    Do I feel that role play lessens that? See, I love spanking ( duh) but have a hard time with the PAIN of it unless I feel I’ve earned it. This is what weds my rich fantasy life to the actual real physical ACT of it. The headspace takes care of itself. I like the gritty emotional reaction associated with feeling purged of my guilt—via ” a REAL spanking for a REAL reason”. One of these days, maybe I won’t ever ‘deserve’ one..and can get on with the mild bratting of a largely ‘good girl’ and just engage in the fun of role play. Gotta leave myself open to that.

  2. I am with on all the way, Rad. In fact, every time I’ve been spanked for a “real” reason by anyone other than Frank, it’s rung a little hollow, for all of the reasons you mentioned. The “realness” of the reason is cancelled out by the artificiality of the relationship, and yeah, it just feels a little “wrong”. Not bad, just off a bit.

    Unless “bratiness” springs from a role-pay I’m already in the middle of, I find it a distasteful set up for for a scene, even more nauseating when it becomes a “real” reason for a spanking. Ick ick ick ick ick. This roleplay that no one will admit is roleplay is one of my major pet-peeves in the scene and it makes me grouchy even writing about it.

    Lisa, that’s a brave and interesting point to bring up. It is something that I struggled with a lot when I was first started exploring spanking. (I’m not trying to sound like I’ve “moved on” from that or am all exalted or anything…neither of those things are true.) I wrote a blog post once on how I am puzzled about how to play when I fear my desires for spanking might be coming from a possibly unhealthy place of self-loathing. It still crops up from time to time. I can’t share exactly what changed, but as spanking became, well, a bit “normalized” in my life, it lost some of the Sturm und Drang that it had held for me before. Perhaps because it had been secret and kind of shameful for so long it got all tangled up with all the other secret, shameful emotions I carried around with me. I still have those angsty sessions from time to time but there’s another side of spanking (not at all silly or trivial, but “lighter” some how) that has taken precedence.

    I don’t know if this “lightening” is what made me love role-play so much, or if engaging in the role-play caused the “lightening”. I lean towards the latter. It’s possible that experiencing spankings I didn’t deserve, that I couldn’t possibly deserve, that had nothing to do with the “real” me (that often guilty me) helped loosen up some of the emotional snarls I had around the subject.

    Aw crap, I basically just blogged here. See what happens when I’m away from the internet for a week or so?

  3. Caroline….don’t worry..I hijack this blog often. ( waving ‘hi’ to it’s owner). I just think your points are interesting…(and I have always loved the word “angsty”.)

    Funny..I didn’t think what I wrote took ‘bravery’. I’m not sure if my guilt over real issues in my life borders on self-loathing..but I suspect it comes close.

    It definitely sets up my psyche to feel utterly deserving of real spankings as punishment. It’s such a normal thing for me..I really never stopped to think if it WAS ‘unhealthy’ or not….

    I suppose it might be in my best interest in the future to explore that I CAN feel like a “good girl” in my real life..instead of a colossal juvenile delinquent. l

  4. radagast Says:

    caroline: I’ve never really cared for brattiness but have learned to tolerate it in moderation. When taken to relentless extremes, I just walk away.

  5. I think a little brattiness can be ‘cute’. Overt bratting is manipulation, pure and simple.

    Why should a Top have to rise to that occasion? And, if he DOES, I dare to say here that perhaps she has forfeited the right to “complain” about how REAL the spanking just might be.

    I have spoken.

  6. I agree with you 100%, the joy of punishment spanking, is something to behold. It brings erotism to my groins, when I spank a naughty woman. For me I love to cane them, as my name suggests. That wonderful joyous feeling has been with me for many , many years, and it started in a school in England, when I wanted to cane my naughty female teachers. I draam’t of wanting to bend them over a desk, raise their dress waist high, take down their knickers, and cane them well, very well. For erotisism I would imagine them also wearing garter-belt and stockings. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of communicating with you, on your interesting blog.

  7. sixofthebest: Thank you for your comment. Your groins are always welcome here.

  8. One day I would love to join your group. Just even to talk about spanking a woman on the bare bottom makes me feel good. But I must be discreet about it, because my partner, is not into the scene. So if you e-mail me pleace be discreet about it, if you know what I mean.

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