Rules & Regulations

Don’t like ’em.

I would make a crappy bottom. Hell, I would make a crappy soldier and probably can only ever work at jobs where I’m semi-autonomous and left alone to do what it is I do. For me, rules are suggestions and I push hard against them for no other reason than they exist. In many ways, the rules I do follow are pretty much based upon whether I reasonably think I can get away with breaking them or not. If the results of breaking a rule are a slap on the wrist, then that will do nothing to deter me. Maybe I’m a character living in an Ayn Rand novel.

Because of this reason, it is incredibly difficult for me to be the kind of Top that imposes rules on others. It boils down to the fact that I really don’t give a shit about rules myself so why should anyone else. For example. a couple of people joke about me being some sort of King of Bedtime — not true. I think sleeping is important for certain people and not others. Some folks, like me, get by on five or six hours a night at the most. Every so often I’ll sleep eight or nine but that’s rare. If certain people are tired and need sleep and if they ask me, I’ll suggest a bedtime. If they want to be spanked because of breaking it, that’s fine. I’ll save up the spankings for a later time when the rule breaking will be addressed.

But I can’t be a cop about it or any other rule and I refuse to be. If a person wants me to give them a rule, I’ll give them a rule and expect them to follow it. The end. However, if a person doesn’t want to sleep or something like that, it’s really no skin off my nose. Their punishment will be to get up tired, go to work tired and if they do that enough, get fired. The spankings are supposed to head that off and force the behavior to change but if they don’t, the firing will be what happens. Oh well.

I’m not a rules lawyer (only in board games). As a person who sees rules as shapeless blobs of maybe, I’m not that concerned with them. It also comes from the fact I respect adults and think that they can make their own decisions no matter what they are. The real world has enough consequences for rules breakers to render any “fun” consequences irrelevant. This is all, of course, in my humble opinion. But as a habitual rule breaker and envelope pusher, the concept of rules just does not resonate with me.

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8 Responses to “Rules & Regulations”

  1. …shapeless blobs of maybe. Shapeless blobs of maybe?? Oh Lord. I have no words for how much I love that phrase, Rad.

    As per usual..very good points addressed. The “real world” certainly DOES have less than “fun” consequences for rule ( ummm, law?) breakers, and don’t I know it. Decidedly UN-erotic. Well, ok..to be honest, I did get the occasional shiver of ‘thrill’ when in court with my rather Toppy lawyer. But I digress.

    As a Top, it must be really hard to “enforce” rules. Once they are given, it’s up to the bottom to obey….otherwise, whats the point? It can be fun to tease a top, but not make a fool of them by saying you want rules and then not adhering. I recently asked for rules.. and, I THINK got more than I bargained for, but am so far enjoying the process. I am NOT a good self-starter, I’m a habitually tardy person, and my picture is in the dictionary under “procrastination”. Talk about a rule happy Top being the yang to my yin! I actually find it erotic to obey rules.. especially if they are given in my best interest…..bedtimes ARE hard to follow.. as I am a nightowl and yes, internet addict. ( ya think??)

  2. Paddlegirl Says:

    Interesting points Rad. Just curious, do you assign and enforce rules to your bottoms for their own good only? What do you get out of this? Knowing that you are helping someone through a difficult patch or the power of holding someone accountable. I’m not much of a rule gal myself. I honestly cannot see myself holding someone to something that I myself could not abide.

  3. If a person wants rules and desires them for a specific purpose (i.e. To change an habit), I will attempt to provide the punishment and penance part if they break them — but I won’t make them do anything nor feel the need to remind them. For example, if someone is told that their bedtime is 10pm, I expect that they know what 10pm is and how to tell time to know that it has arrived. I don’t have an inclination to say, “It’s 10”, because I would hope an adult would not require that kind of a reminder.

    As for rules as far as I’m concerned: I follow them if I have to but certainly not compulsively.

  4. I enjoyed this blog. I mostly can only say, I am much like you are, although I follow laws much more than “rules”.

    As far as work, and my personal life goes, I’m an adult and I can make these sorts of decisions. I agree.

  5. This is interesting. Some people function/perform much better with a lot of structure and some people function/perform better without a lot of structure. I think it’s entirely an individual personality trait. Me, I need structure. I’m a rules kind of guy.

  6. Uh oh, do you have to like rules to be a good bottom? I’d better quit while I’m ahead then! One of the things I like about role play is that you get to push the envelope as much as you want (within reason, I suppose) without risking your career or other important parts of your life. On the one hand, I have a pretty strong aversion to rules and hierarchy; on the other, I find authoritarian systems fascinating. That’s part of what makes it so enticing to play with power in the way we do.

  7. I think there’s a Myers-Briggs question along the lines of…”choose one:

    > Facts speak for themselves.
    > Facts illustrate principles.”

    I’m a principles sort of person. My principles are: Be respectful to your Top. Pay attention to your Top. Keep your commitments…to yourself and to others. That’s it.

    If my actions contradict my principles, discipline is a good reminder that I’m heading down a path that probably won’t work for me. I don’t need micro-management, but I value the subtle or not-so-subtle message that an effective Top can deliver.

  8. It appears to be my lot around here to be the sole dissenter quite a bit of the time. Oh well.

    Part of what “gets to me” is rules; being accountable to someone and being held accountable by them. Could I live a fully functional adult life without that oversight? Of course, and have done so for many, many years (I have limited patience for those in the scene who would put job/home/health on the line in order to provoke discipline).
    For me, there is an incredible rush that comes from doing
    something (following a rule as it were) because he asks it of me, and honestly from simply knowing that the rule is in place or that the dynamic exists between us that the control is taken/given.

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