Not The Kind Of Age Play I’m Talking About

There is a decidedly annoying variety of concern trolling going on in the scene.

Maybe the “concern troll” label is not exactly correct but there is a type of, let’s say, smothering paternalism that rears its ugly head in some people. It’s most evident around younger or newer people in the scene — this habit of certain folks to want to take others “under their wing”. This happens whether the wing taking is wanted or not. I can understand being concerned by someone who is young in the scene and wanting to look out for them but what I don’t understand is this strange forced infantilism that’s pushed onto people.

What I mean by “forced infantilism” is the idea that anyone younger than the person in question is seen as a child to be taken care of by the bigger and more experienced “adult”. Yes, we should all be looking out for each other when danger is near but the last I looked, even the women wearing schoolgirl outfits and the men wearing diapers were adults. Presumably, adults can make their own decisions about what they are doing. Presumably, adults are allowed to make their own mistakes in life and figure out what’s what (so long as the mistake isn’t a fatal one — then it’s over).

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with treating everyone equally and letting their own actions speak for themselves. Although I often point out people who I think are misbehaving in the scene, I have no desire nor inclination to become some sort of public avenger for the scene nor, in the case of this blog theme, to become a mentor for people with whom I have no such arrangement.

In my opinion, it is a condescending attitude that stinks of authoritarianism. That some person up on high can decide what’s best for another because they see themselves as parent of the world. Thinking you know what’s best is fine when the other person is ten, not when the person is over the legal age.

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5 Responses to “Not The Kind Of Age Play I’m Talking About”

  1. Emma Jane Says:

    Hi Rad, you make a very valid point. As I’ve said before I’m a newcomer in the scene, and to be honest I was very grateful to be taken under the wing a little bit by people I actively sought advice from.

    But at the end of the day I’m still an adult who makes her own decisions. I don’t expect to have people to advise me on everything or to have scapegoats I can blame when I got into a situation I wasn’t comfortable with. People make mistakes all the time, sometimes it’s the only way to learn, both in real life and in the scene.

    And as for people who talk down to me when I’m a ‘young girl in uniform’ they are not the kind of people I want to interact with. My opinion is no less valid because I allow you to spank me etc.!

  2. This reminds me of the Judge Turpin/Joanna relationship in “Sweeny Todd.” Judge Turpin was ostensibly protecting Joanna, shielding her from the dangers of London, but his ulterior motive was to have her for himself (in every way possible)! mwahahahaha!

  3. Normally, I’m all for lechery of any kind — just not so in my face or annoying.

  4. I think concern is fine..as is sincere mentoring .. but not the “smothering paternalism” of which you refer, Rad. NO ONE is an expert. I think a lot of that is just thinly disguised ego-feeding on the part of some “tops”…

  5. I think Smiling Devil hit the nail on the head. We encountered this too. Some people just welcome the new people. Some offer their contact info, willing to answer questions and help out. Then finally there are the ones who are trying to co-opt newbies for themselves.

    I appreciate the welcomes we got as strangers in the scene. We are happy to offer the same. Not sure what you can do about the stalkers.

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