Those Friggin Lurkers

I know, I know — it’s a club. What else should I expect?

You know what I love? Two eggs over easy with a couple of slices of fried tomato and buttered wheat toast. Lurkers at the club? Not so much.

Look, I understand and accept the fact that in a public establishment with no private areas, there will always be those people who are there only to observe. Honestly, I don’t begrudge the fact that it’s the way they get their kicks. Although there are few folks who get too close physically (most have the decency to stay a certain distance), there are those who have their eyes set on stun — zeroing in on the action like some Animal Planet host hiding in the bushes. The remotest possibility of a “moment” between two people who are engaged in spanking activity is shattered because some sociologist is engaged in a personal research study.

This last OTK night was no exception. The usual kinds of lurkers were about save one who stood out and was a veritable king among lurkers. He went from being called “The Pope” to “Dumbledore” for reasons that would be apparent to anyone who saw him there. This guy was the silent drifting type — one minute he’s there, the next vapor and then he’s back again. This fellow was the epitome of an elephant in the room, someone who you could not not notice. It’s not that he said anything at all and maybe that’s the problem. If he was one of these vocal people, it would be easy to just say, “Get lost” or “shut up”. His silent presence (and unusual look) made him too much of a distraction and a headspace killer. Turning my back to where they might be standing would probably be a good idea.

All in all, it was an excellent night with this one oddity. Hope these extra OTK nights continue.


13 Responses to “Those Friggin Lurkers”

  1. I’m going to look at this as an optimist. Even though this topic seems to have been thoroughly analyzed, and discussed many times…..

    I still appreciate that you took whatever time it took so that there wouldn’t be an empty entry today.

    Here’s an idea – why not take guest entries? You could have a stack of them ready to choose from whenever you want/need to take a break.

  2. There was a sports radio host in CA, NY and then eventually CA again by the name of Pete Franklin. He was acerbic, argumentative and opinionated and would constantly get calls from listeners telling him he, in effect, sucked. He once famously went on a rant which is archived here

  3. I have a personal interest in said blog topic du jour..and yes, its maddening. did make me really LOL…Rad…..thank goodness.

    It was a Jerry Seinfeld/Larry David moment to be sure. You would think that us friggin hedonists would be safe from overlty religious lurkers..which is sort of like insult to injury..but..NO! They are out in full force. And,why? NO one knows. I know I don’t WANT to know! I was there to get my kicks, and said kicks did NOT involve looking up from my submissive spanking reverie and seeing a pair of orthodox black shoes………..Damn major buzzkill. Sigh …..

  4. Hey Samjay.. why don’t you dry up?
    How about you have your own blog where you can air your particular vitriol, perhaps…? Rad has VERY good points to make and will never have an “empty entry”. Ok..I am biased, as he is a friend..who makes me laugh, and has a brain. Why do you have a problem with that?

  5. sorry to keep popping in..but, it’s what I do.
    Rad, I just listened to the Pete Franklin clip. I laughed till my face hurt. Thanks for the perfect rejoinder…
    Hang tough, Baby! 🙂

  6. I am not going to state the obvious. It’s Rad’s blog and he will write about whatever the hell he chooses to write about. Oops. I stated the obvious.

    Besides that, this post cracked me up.

    I’ll have two eggs over easy with a couple slices of fried tomato and buttered wheat toast. mmmmmmm.

  7. LOL I will take the eggs over easy too…anything…other then stupid lurkers!! Good post, per usual, Rad

  8. even extraordinarily BURNED toast is better than a lurker! Hey.. toast! Hi Jules! ( if you are reading this…)

    You know… yeah, it’s a public space..and voyeurs have their right to get their kicks, etc..BUT..there ARE areas of Paddles that are so OBVIOUSLY out of the way, semi remote dark ‘corriders’. If you take someone SHOULD be marginally obvious to anyone with half a brain to perhaps STFA…( I love acronyms..even if I invent them). If I wanted to be on display, the session could/would have been conducted on the “stage” area. Anyway, fantastic night overall but, I was WAY cranky to be ogled.

  9. I blog about commuting a lot. Some of my blogs have similar themes, but to me it’s about how I feel on a particular day — sometimes I feel angry, sometimes anxious. If people are bored, they won’t comment.

    This particular theme about lurkers, I think, probably does need to be repeated. People are going out to have fun and this behavior is disturbing and puts a damper on fun. To me, if someone else writes about it, it validates my own feelings. It makes me feel I’m not alone in being uncomfortable. It MIGHT send a message to someone who IS a lurker to change his behavior (probably not, but you never know).

    Say you go to a “regular” club to go dancing. You dance a lot. But there’s a guy there who never seems to get to dance. Instead, he comes onto the dance floor and just stares at the other dancers, getting closer and closer, looking alternatively wistful, angry, and desperate. Sometimes, as a song ends, he steps in front of a woman and asks her if it’s his turn to dance with her. Occasionally, he puts his hand on a woman’s butt as she walks by, and then pretends it was an accident.

    NO ONE would tolerate this kind of behavior at a regular club. It seems to be that because Paddles is a BDSM club, then anything is supposed to be accepted and the players are not supposed to be bothered.

    Part of the fun IS voyeurism — I love to watch a hot scene myself; I do it from a reasonable distance. And part of the fun is being watched. I always love an audience. An audience — not someone so close I could kick him.

  10. That was great, Sandy. Paddles is awesome for both voyeurs and exhibitionists, but those who want a modicum of even semi privacy shouldnt have to put up a huge sign. Creepy.

    And the protocol of ‘butt touching’ etc at Paddles. Sigh. How about when someone grabs you and tried to shove their tongue down your throat? “oh, I like you and therefore will kiss you now, b/c I am calling myself a “dom” these days…”. I am supposed to be complimented?

    Whatever happened to just MANNERS..whereEVER you are? Damn. Now I am even starting to get disillusioned by THAT place! I don’t blame the club. Michael does a great job. I have to do a better one with my own boundaries.

  11. Well said, Sandy.

  12. Wednesday Says:

    I’ve taken to having fun with them–but that is just me I think. Appearing to be a bit unpredictable with a singletail seems to help a bit. They back away a few feet at least. And…well…this is an option my non-disciplinarian scene persona has—fixing to do something particularly disturbing seems to scare some of them off (regardless of whether I actually do that thing).

    Giving them demented bloodthirsty looks (like you are going to come after *them*) seems to help too. I am not above fighting fire with fire. To quote a wonderful mentor of mine, if someone gets too close to my scene they are subject to becoming *part* of my scene.

    But then again when I am in BDSM mode rather than spanking mode I am an interesting character. I’ve noticed that those who have the reputation for being heavy or “really scary” tops get a bit more respect.

    Of course, I’ve quit bottoming at clubs. I can’t put up the flaming spinning swords from the bottom. That does suck.

  13. @wednesday..” ..a bit unpredictable with a singletail..” LOL

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