“No” For An Answer

It’s mostly discussed whenever two people are playing or when there is the potential for play but I’m amazed how much anger there seems to be online between people who don’t know each other. Great — now I feel a rant coming on.

I’m going to jump to the conclusion right off the bat — there are too many people with too many expectations or personal baggage that they bring to every discussion or correspondence. Yes, I’m sorry that you had a crap time of every relationship you were ever in or party/club/streetcorner you were ever on. It sucks to be you, it really does. But I don’t get where your downbeat life ever has to intrude upon anyone elses life.

Here’s an example: Person A is a Dom. Person B is a sub. Person A contacts Person B with the typical, “Love what you wrote someplace and just wanted to tell you I agree”. Person B writes back with some “thank you” remark. From here it’s the inching forward — “Where are you from?”, “What are you into?”, “Let’s get to know each other…”, etcetera. Suddenly, Person B says something that Person A doesn’t like and it devolves into “You’re not really submissive” and other BS judgments based upon Person A’s thinly-veiled yet self-righteous hostility towards (fill in the blank group).

As a boss of mine often says in emails, “How did this happen?” If you don’t like what someone is saying to you or you feel they don’t really want to talk to you then don’t talk to them. Are some people so outward with their desperation that they take every non-starting relationship as some personal affront by the other person. That must be it. Since they are so perfect then it must be the other person’s fault. This is not a knock on any gender because both do it but I must say that I notice it mostly from men than women. This whiney yet imperious attitude that says, “I know you better than you know yourself and I’m going to spend the next 500 words telling you”. These folks need to give it a rest. “I’m hurt”, they say. Goody for you — here’s your blankie now STFU.

If someone doesn’t want to know me or talk to me — good. I have plenty of friends and I won’t really miss their stirling company. If someone wants to lower themselves to the level rudeness or to try and call me out, I really have no reason to engage in any conversation at all. I owe no explanation nor response to them because simply ignoring them is my response.

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6 Responses to ““No” For An Answer”

  1. …why do I often giggle uncontrollably?

    (.”.if someone doesn’t want to know me or talk to me, Good.”)

    Its (said giggling) certainly not from disagreeing with you.

    I think it’s because you cast a searing laser light on this kind of rampant lunacy, Rad. And you make the solution so comfortably simple.: Ignore the creeps.
    I think this scene brings people’s opinions right to the forfront.. and they come hurtling out…filterless. People get so defensive..not in small part because maybe they are utterly at unrest within their own life..fetish..relationship, or lack thereof. No one will play with them..therefore the scene sucks out loud. Granted, it hurts more if FRIENDS don’t agree with you, or launch a debate..but, at least that has the HOPE of being resolved.
    When it’s these virtual strangers..on Fetlife and other places.. there IS no reason to do anything but remain calm and “agree to disagree”. I know, I know.. why the sudden turnabout in Lisa, right? Am I the original hypocrite here?
    I AM learning to be MUCH less argumentative. Really. I am! It isn’t worth it.
    See how nice it is to have a rational mentor? (Did you feel that little ass kiss? LOL….:-)

  2. As Jules would say, “Don’t hate.”

  3. LOL!! Could not agree more!! “Don’t Hate!!”

  4. Hate is such a strong word and seems to be overused these days.

  5. people who don’t ADD anything positive to one’s life should be shooed away like nothing more than an inconsequential bug. There’s a saying: ” he who angers you, controls you”.

    One time I was ranting and raving about my ex husband ( a few years ago) to a person in a parking lot. He was practically a stranger… but gave some simple and good advice to the effect of: ” bad air. it’s just bad air. Take one step over, breathe….see? Good air again…”. NO ONE can make us feel bad without our consent. lecture over. ha.

  6. Good lecture though Lisa! It is so true and it is a good reminder from BOTH you and Rad. Ignore people that upset you…and just move away from the bad air. I find this in both online conversations in the scene and in real life, too. Some people get under my skin and it is a good reminder to just move away from them.
    bella

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