Getting What You Want

I’m not talking about presents under a tree but about not getting what you hoped you’d get.

I’ve heard stories from mostly bottoms about a scene that was promised in one way and ended up different or a player that represented themselves one way and delivered in another. It seems quite interesting to me that with the variety of people in the spanking community, there are still those who need to compromise to get anything close to what they want.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned at some point men who frequent Pro Dommes looking for more of a Mommy and end up with something a little harsher or not quite what they were looking for. That’s why I think the more domestically inclined Dommes tend to do well – there is a pretty big demand that is not really being fully met. Sure, there are a lot of Dommes that are catering more and more to this particular variety of spanking but you’re more likely to come across the whip-cracking, vinyl-clad Mistress – I suppose the demand for those is pretty high from former stock brokers needing a little humiliation.

As an amateur spanker, I like doing certain things with enough wiggle room to include a variety of scenes. I find that there are enough people who want things the way I can deliver them to satisfy my desire for spanking play. Other than one particular case where I misread someone and went a little disciplinary on them, I generally deliver what people like because I play with people who tend to like the same things. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the need to play the school principal and then break out a scourge – that would be the Mel Gibson version of private school…in slow motion.

I can imagine that too much sexuality during a non-sexual scene might throw a monkey wrench into the works as well. If an “Uncle” is spanking a “niece”, you’d figure that buttock kissing or some such thing would not be part of the menu. Or a Dean spanking a schoolgirl going off the rails and remarking about how attractive the girl is and what started as detention ends up a beauty contest.


9 Responses to “Getting What You Want”

  1. Rad…I have ended up playing with guys who talk a talk…and then don’t deliver the goods. It’s all fine – but there is definitely disappointment when either my expectations are too high – or they just out and out lied about their ability! It’s all in fun….but…..yep.

  2. I’ve told Rad this story about how I was dressed as a school girl at Paddles one night, and I decided to play with a top who was good with a cane. It was supposed to be a principal/naughty school girl role play. We never really discussed ahead of time what I was being disciplined for.

    Part way through the scene I find out my “crime” was taking part in some kind of sexual deviance involving vampires (or maybe HE was the vampire, I don’t remember exactly) … I continued the scene and let him finish his caning, but it was too weird, there was no way I could get into that scenario.

  3. Yup. The disciplined schoolgirl thing is a huge part of what I call my core kink. I like it to be as authentic as possible, so stepping out of the role, ie making any sexual or “grown up” comment, would blow the scene for me, too.

  4. Sandy, has it ever occurred to you that your top really might have been a vampire? Even doms have been known to confess things during a scene.

  5. you are an “amateur” spanker??? you could have fooled me..AND my ass!

  6. OMG, Sandy, that is a great scene war story! Talk about not being able to get into the right headspace because you would never have committed the “crime” in question…

  7. Well, I’ve had other tops whose “school girl” role play had me touching myself in class, etc., etc., while I’m thinking “I didn’t do my homework.”

  8. Tony, it’s possible…

  9. I am usually very careful before I do role play scenes with people for all of the above reasons. It is so hard when a role play goes “very” wrong…and since I work in a school…it is so important to me that it goes right…like sandy says spank me for not doing my homework…not for doing some weird sexual thing in class…cause ummm…teenagers don’t do that stuff in class. They would be mortified!!

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