Just Saying

Can anyone say no to people?

The following metaphor is used to protect the innocent.

Let’s say someone comes to a spanking party with a huge tray of homemade lemon cookies – not particularly good ones at that. So people go to the party and eat the damned cookies and tell the baker that they are wonderful because they want to be polite. Next time around, the same person brings the same crap cookies. People force them down and pretend they’re good again even as they privately decry the absurdity of it all. One more party and this person says, “I’m bringing cookies”…do you think it might be time to say, “Not this time”.

I know cookies may be their “thing”. They always bring cookies – they are the Cookie Spanko. But at what point is enough enough? I walk into a party where this person shows up and it’s those fucking cookies again. It’s not as if the cookies are an afront to my delicate sensibilities but they become a distraction especially when people have to stop and acknowledge the ungodly things. The worst part is when there’s one vocal person who thinks they are any good. This person becomes the champion of the cookie maven and lobbies for the inclusion of this shit at every party. There’s no escape – the cookies become ubiquitous.

Why is it that everyone else has to suffer? I understand “being nice” but even that has its limits especially when it means humoring someone over and over again when they are purveyors of the worst kind of cloying and tooth melting treacle.

Thank you for humoring this rant even though you have no fucking ideas what I’m talking about.


13 Responses to “Just Saying”

  1. To quote Nancy Reagan….”Just say NO!”

    Sorry Rad…couldn’t resist!

  2. I can haz cookie plz?

  3. The cookie spanko….I LOVE it!! Now I’m going to be thinking of cookies ALL day!! Thanks a lot Rad!!

    ~maria fbg~

  4. Rad – it’s a life’s work to develop an attitude that doesn’t let one be bothered by behavioral failings of others.

    Unless one feels obligated to impress the baker, there’s no need to eat the cookie, or worry why they brought cookies. The pessimist says “why did they do this again” The optimist says “what a nice gesture – to go through all the effort. I’m sorry I don’t like this particular cookie, so I won’t have one”

    Were you obligated at all? If so, why?

    Didn’t other people bring things? If so, how do you feel about these things?

    If this is a metaphor, and not really about cookies, why couldn’t you describe the actual situation in more detail?

  5. More detail? Can’t do it without getting too close to outing the person I’m thinking about.

  6. Can’t this person figure out what you’re writing about already?

  7. Plausible deniability.

  8. Now maybe if someone comes along and knocks the plate of cookies off the table. Repeatedly.

  9. My head hurts. and no, not from the sugar in these imaginary ” cookies”! Rad, perhaps privately you can tell me what in the HELL you are talking about! LOL

  10. Cripes. By the time I got to the end of your rant I’d already gone through at least 3 lemon cookies in my mind. Thanks.

  11. whatever are you talking about? I’d love to know, next time we meet you must fill me in. P L E A S E loretta

  12. I think it was a GREAT accounting…even if we have no clue what you are talking about! I am trying to imagine the worst cookies I have ever eaten…and working in non for profit…well I think I have actually seen this happen!!

  13. Well shit! You don’t like my lemon cookies? The heck with you! Those are stellar lemon cookies! You just don’t like lemon. (who doesn’t like lemon?) Dang it!

    Let’s see what you think about my chocolate chip cookies!!!

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