Odd Moments Revisited

I already mentioned a woman coming up to me out of the blue and asking for a spanking at Paddles. There was another brief encounter that I almost forgot about.

I was standing by the bar area at the club when a man walked up to me and asked me for some advice. First of all, this guy was probably a foot taller than me and maybe in his late forties but a fit and decent looking guy. He comes up to me and asks, “What do you think is the best approach to getting women to play here?”

Now, I had no idea who this guy was and don’t think I’d ever seen him before but I immediately felt put on the spot at a time when I was looking to just hang and have fun. Giving a dating advice seminar was not really on my list of things to do right then and there. However, me being a good person and the fact that he looked like someone who could snap my neck without thinking, I decided I’d tell him something wise.

“How about just walking up, introducing yourself and seeing if you can get into a brief conversation about this and that before asking if they’d like to play”.

After I said it, I immediately felt like an idiot. That’s the best advice I could give, I asked myself. In retrospect, I can’t imagine anything better I could have said and wonder why I even need to say it. Look, I know that people go to the club and want to meet people but may be there for the first time. They’re nervous and not quite sure about the way things work. There are rules and regulations posted everywhere in the club that pretty much outline the way things work – it’s too bad people don’t read them often enough or maybe visit the Paddles website before going there.

Truth be told, I don’t know what else can be said to someone other than what I did. Walk up to someone and introduce yourself – that should be a common occurrence in everyone’s life and not too difficult to accomplish. A little small talk never hurts to see if she’s even remotely interested – perhaps she’ll even turn the conversation towards spanking herself, if not, you can try. If it works, great, if not, move on.

That’s the most basic dating or spanking play advice I can give. Act like a person. Don’t act desperate or single-minded. Don’t stalk. Oh, and don’t scare the patrons by towering over them asking them advice like a 14 year old.


3 Responses to “Odd Moments Revisited”

  1. That reminds me of the lurker who came up to our table at one of the Shadow Lane dinners and “joined” us, but never spoke. He also tried popping into some of the rooms uninvited but was wisely turned back. I’m not saying your guy was like that, just that you reminded me of him.

    Regarding “act like a person,” I’d take it a step further. Don’t even act like a person. Just BE a person! Be yourself. You’ll appeal to some, and not to others. I do agree with the sentiment of just starting with some small talk. One can presume that most, if not all of the people at a gathering like this DO share some common interests! The trick is to learn whether they share an interest in you as you do in them…

    Perhaps, on the other hand, the guy could open with, “Ever been spanked by Lurch?” 😉

  2. Rad,

    I think he must have been watching you, seen you playing successfully and thought “what’s he got that I haven’t got?” I’m told that some mem measure themselves against others. And you know, your answer was right on. That is why I like your blog so much. You don’t go all darth toppy overlord on bottoms. You treat as as equals, people, as your friends, which we are. None of us are potential scores, gets or targets to you. MHO only.

    Of course some are not capable of getting that. Time will tell with your lurchlike friend.

  3. I agree that you should pretty much feel complimented, Rad. This dude saw you getting your spanking swerve on with several women and probably wanted to somewhat emulate your approach. He never could have known that you and I set up our playing beforehand, on-line, of course. It’s always interesting to me to realize that the men get anxious and tentative, too. I usually think thats left up to us ladies ..but, forgive me if I say WE are the ones in control at the clubs and parties..because nothing can happen without our consent. It’s ironic..to say the least. As a woman, I always feel VERY awkward and uncomfortable when I feel a need to turn a man down for play. If I don’t “feel” it, I don’t feel it. It’s not meant to be mean. It just is what it is. One’s ass can only take so much, and that being said..life’s too short to get spanked by men who aren’t liking on SOME level! I had one man come up to me at Paddles and say : ” wow. you can take a lot ..but you never got it from ME yet”. Umm..ok. I am NOT into that male competition THING. Nope. I am not out to set endurance records. I sometimes play hard..sometimes not. Sometimes I even surprise myself….

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