Some Things Just Don’t Concern Me

This is a more expanded answer to the quick blurb I put up on Fetlife regarding sex after a spanking and whether the desire for it is somehow considered “odd”.

Short version: I don’t care.

When I’m involved in the spanking scene, doing unto others as I would not have them do unto me, I have my own rules. I don’t have sex with people other than my wife – that’s just the way it is. If other people have sex outside their marriages it’s really no concern of mine. I’m not the marriage police to worry about what they are doing nor do I even really give a shit about the “sanctity” of marriage. I open the paper every day and read about the murder of people for two dollars – if human life has no apparent sanctity in this world, I don’t exactly know how marriage is above that.

The fact is that some people see spanking as foreplay. They get so turned on by the act of spanking that they must release that with some good old fashioned hopefully safe sex. Good for them if they can find a partner willing to do that. That’s the key, of course, finding a partner who sees things the same way. And yes, when it gets to that level of intimacy you don’t just have to jump the hurdles of attraction for the spanking side but also the hurdles regarding physical attraction as well. In a lot of ways, it’s a tall order because although someone might be attracted enough to be involved in a spanking session, they might equally be not attracted to the other for anything more than that.

What’s funny is the reaction of some people towards this attitude as if the concept was somehow something that polite people don’t talk about. Everyone talks about communication in the scene – “communicate, communicate, communicate”. It’s all you hear. I agree that it’s important but the same folks then add filters about what one is allowed to communicate about. If Person A wants spanking a certain way and communicates that, it’s fine and dandy. Person A will get responses and negotiate with a bunch of potential play parters. If Person B wants spanking and sex, then for some reason the sex part of the “communication” becomes a stigma in and of itself. It’s as if the mere mention of it is a taint.

Did you hear? Person B wants to talk about sex.

Oh, my word! Let me dab at my lips with a lace hanky while the house boy fans me.

I mean, come on. Is it that big a deal? If a person doesn’t want sex then just say, “I don’t want sex”. The only stigma should come if the person asking doesn’t accept the answer and starts jawing about it – then that person moves into the category of “jerk”. So here’s my rule: Communicate whatever you want and accept the answer when you get it. The End.

As far as other people’s sexual habits go, I’ll quote Socrates and say, “They can all go fuck themselves”.