Getting Along Has Its Limits…maybe

I’m a big believer in people trying to get along on at least the most basic of levels. I’ve written about this and said that whenever possible, the practical should trump the ego especially when relating to the scene. I’m not talking about Kumbaya.

I hate Kumbaya and I hate what I consider a phony hippie ethic. To me, the hippies were as deluded as anyone who thought they could survive in a commune – that somehow selfish people were going to spontaneously become altruists. People are involved in anything they do so they can get something out of it. Even people who volunteer to help others are getting something in return even if it is emotional.

I got involved in the scene because I wanted to get something out of exploring my kink. That’s the fact. I’m in it because I want to scratch that itch and also because I want to make and have friends as well as a social life I feel comfortable within. I’m getting something out of this, that’s why I’m doing it. The fact that others are getting something also is why there is a scene at all.

Too many times I see people get bent because a discussion gets heated. Maybe the discussion erupts into a fight between one or more people. At this point there’s always talk of banishment or cancellation of accounts or whatever draconian measure is suggested so that the veneer of comity can be sustained. I disagree with this.

People don’t need to be protected from seeing ugliness, they need to learn how to deal with it especially when they become part of it. Getting along with people in any social group, no matter how big or small, sometimes involves swallowing it and acting like a person even if that other guy acts like an asshole. You don’t have to like everyone in the scene but you don’t have to wear your hate on your sleeve 24/7. It’s proof that you are more rational than the troll who is merely looking to pick a fight – something that most observers will see. This person’s presense may make people roll their eyes and cringe but I think there’s a benefit to having even the ugliest of voices be part of the public discourse – it’s a learning experience for everyone else.

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2 Responses to “Getting Along Has Its Limits…maybe”

  1. One thing that drives me nuts. Someone up and leaves in a huff over something and is in self exile mode. Then they come back all hearts and flowers like nothing ever happened. So troll turns all lovey dovey. Maybe I should act in kind, but I just can’t. Because eventually, they start to show themselves for who they really are.

  2. A troll is always going to be a troll. Some people might leave for legitimate reasons that I know nothing about and that’s fine. Good people are often good and the other sort can’t hide their true natures for long.

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