Vegas

Not the city itself but that which stays there.

Question: When you play, do you keep what happens between you and that other person to yourself or do you talk about it? Do you ask your play partner whether they don’t mind or do you just go ahead and talk about your experience?

Personally, I make it a point to keep what happens with me and someone else during a scene to myself. I don’t need to talk about it or brag about it or any of those things especially if I’m not sure whether the other person would want me to or not. My safe default position is to always keep things as detail free as possible. I may relate whether it was fun or not and perhaps some general comments about the scene itself but I tend not to go into details. I think of it as a sort of respect for the person I played with.

Correct me if I’m wrong but is there a standard in the scene that says it’s OK for a sub or bottom to talk but not for a Dom or Top to do the same? This hasn’t happened to me that I know of (or care about) but I’ve come across this theme online quite a bit that, basically, Tops should keep their mouths shut and bottoms are free to talk. N’est-ce pas?

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3 Responses to “Vegas”

  1. I talk about most scenes I have. I don’t usually wrote detailed reports on my blog unless the person is ok with it, but I certainly tell Max, and usually close friends, but not “the world” sort of talking. And there are certainly people who I would say “It’s none of your business” to if they asked. I wouldn’t talk about negative aspects with anyone but very trusted and close people. I wouldn’t mind if a top talked about our scene as long as he did the same.

  2. For me it’s all about permission. I won’t post details about a scene if I don’t have explicit permission from the other party. If I haven’t had that conversation I may post about a scene in a more general way, but without names. I expect the same from anyone I play with. I do think there may be a general attitude of “gentlemen don’t “kiss and tell” but ladies can”. I’m not sure where that comes from, and I don’t buy it. Also, my postings about a scene tend to be more about what went on in my head rather than what went on in a scene.

  3. I’ve struggled with this issue a bit. I certainly agree that one shouldn’t post a detailed report of a scene on a blog or public forum without the other person’s permission. How much one talks to friends is a different issue. Talking to people generally helps me to process my thoughts and experiences. That’s particularly important for me in the scene, where most people are more experienced than I am. I keep the conversations to a few trusted friends and am generally very positive. Still, I find it most helpful to talk through more mixed experiences. I personally don’t mind if other people talk about me in this way, but I know that some folks value that kind of privacy more highly than I do. So I just hope that being respectful and discreet in those conversations is close enough to valuing the other person’s privacy appropriately.

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