The “Daddy” Thing

I’ve been exploring this angle of my spanking kink in a more serious way recently; reading about it, writing about it, so on and so forth.

I can’t pretend that I understand how other people approach the topic. There are some that are really into the age play thing while others see the Daddy as a temporary authority figure who punishes them for something in their life. I’m probably the latter more than the person into age play. My point of view on the topic as it relates to my kinkiness is that the dynamic of Daddy/little girl play feeds directly into the whole power exchange thing except in a way that I view as more domestic, more gentle and less sexual than some other forms of play.

For me it is directly related to that side of myself that not only enjoys spanking but likes it to be tied to the more “nurturing” aspect of discipline. It’s a kind of charge for me that’s different than I get from other kinds of scenes. Not worse, not better, just different. It’s probably the most “real” feeling spanking I can give because I can get into the headspace totally. At that moment, it’s not some sort of feeling of “tee hee…look at me, I’m spanking” but something that has a tinge of seriousness to it – or more than just a tinge.

Now I know that some folks don’t like this sort of scene and that’s fine – everything isn’t for everyone. I’ve heard people say that it would be too weird to call someone “Daddy” or even play out a scene like that. I’ve also heard some spankers say they’d rather not be called that because they have kids and it would be wrong, etcetera, etcetera. Well, the truth is that I don’t think of myself as their “real” dad, more like a “Dad” of the moment as needed.

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19 Responses to “The “Daddy” Thing”

  1. I do love your posts on the “daddy” thing a lot, as it’s something I spend a lot of time contemplating.

  2. Marie: It’s been something I’ve been exploring lately – mostly thinking about what it means to me.

    I think too much…I think.

  3. The relationship with my real dad sucked. He was a dick and is still kind of a dick. I will never have the daddy/little girl relationship that some had growing up; no amount of role play will change that.

    But I’m overjoyed that I can be a grown-up, responsible woman, with a man (who is my equal) who lets me call him “daddy” once in a while. It’s silly, it’s ridiculous, maybe childish… but I don’t care. Oh, yeah, he spanks me, too. It’s sexual but not sexual. The sexual part usually takes over after the daddy part ends.

  4. as you already know, the ” daddy” scene is my all time favorite.

  5. Daddy is a term of respect, honor, affection, and authority. To me, anyway. It bothers me a lot when people assume I am having incestuous thoughts if I call a man daddy. It’s a “mode” I effortlessly slip into when being spanked..unless its previously established that it’s ” role play” like a teacher, boss, cop, etc. But, I never feel the need to “act” . Thats why I am not a huge fan of role play . It’s just me AS me, getting the spanking..and in my heart and mind, the only man who WOULD be giving me one is a “daddy”. I don’t know. Maybe I am ok with it because I lost my own REAL dad at age 13. ( A-HA! many might say…) Rad, I think too much too. At the end of the day, we all do what we do because we love it.

  6. I like this post. Thanks for writing it. I call MC Daddy sometimes when I want something – or if I’m teasing him about our age difference (just 13 years) – or if he’s told me to do something in our “vanilla” life that I don’t want to do. I don’t think I’ve ever called him Daddy during a spanking. I’m not sure why..

  7. My second husband was ( is?) 14 years my senior. I used to call him daddy sometimes……to get him in a good mood. He would act like: ” oh please!” but, I could tell he also liked it. I’ve always liked older men..although, a couple weeks ago, I got spanked by a man in his 70’s..and I WASNT into it! Daddy, YES! Grandpa? NooooO!! His hands were shaking!

  8. This is a good post. I enjoy age play and especially the “Daddy/daughter” role play. There is something so nurturing about it and a way that I can feel totally cared for and nurtured. I know that people feel weird about it or think it is strange…etc. etc. etc…but well I like it. And it does something for me.

  9. Wow – this post resonated on so many levels with me. I would love a “Daddy” in the scene…however, I entered the scene so late in life that calling someone Daddy would be ludicrous – so I invent other scenes that will tickle my fancy.
    Cool post, Rad…keep up the good work.

  10. anonymous: I don’t believe in “ludicrous” when it comes to doing what you enjoy. For me it’s either something I want to do or something I don’t want to do – everything else is a non-issue.

  11. k (of M & k) Says:

    M is my daddy. This evolved over time, after we became comfortable with the term “daddy” and overcame the incest connotation.

    My real daddy was a big burly man who loved me unconditionally, and who died when I was in my twenties. He traveled a lot when I was growing up, and I never spent as much time with him as I wanted. When I call M “Daddy”, I am telling him that he makes me feel safe and loved. He totally gets the daddy role.

  12. I’m happy that so many other women feel like I do.

  13. It’s funny, when I first encountered the “daddy” thing in the scene, I dismissed it out of hand. Same with the ageplay thing. But reading here about the dynamic, discussed in such a thoughtful way, has really opened my eyes.

    I still don’t think I’ll find myself in a place where I would actually call anyone daddy, or do a literal age-play role-play, but as I have read the things people have said here and in other posts, and thought about it, I feel like I understand what people get from it, and that I look for, and find it (in more understated ways) in parts of my own relationship. I love my own father very much and know he loves me, but I was a very “old” child, and my father was never the nurturing type. I can look back to my real little-girl days and remember feeling wistful about the daddy-daughter relationships I saw around me…the little princess thing. Not in the sense that these girls were spoiled (they may or may not have been) but that they were considered precious, and treasured, and their fathers had a deep tenderness for them. I know my dad felt that way about me when I was a baby, but by preschool he and I had a very friendly businesslike association. It wasn’t about cuddling and being told you were special, it was about maintaining a loving respect for each other.

    I think that was really good for me, and now I try to make all my relationships about maintaining a loving respect for each other. But that tiny little kid missed the other part, and I think I always have. I’d never characterize my relationship with F as having a daddy context, but it is the first relationship I’ve had where that missing sense of tender protective treasuring has come into it, and it’s like coming home. And I also find myself being spoiled and spanked. So whatdya know?

  14. caroline: Thanks for the wonderful comment.

  15. This is a very srong fantasy for me! I have to say,I think there is another dynamic going on that maybe most people haven”t thought of.That is ; that maybe every girl{or at least some} need their boyfriend/lover/husband to be part boyfriend/part Daddy. In that a father can be stern and give approval and a certain kind of nurturing that would not really fall under a boyfriend’s purview ,if you will. And ,conversely,society wouldn’t accept the father as a lover,so that’s what the boyfriend can do.I know I enjoy it when a girl mothers me[soothe and support/nurture] and of course,we have sex as bf and gf. So, I think at least for me I enjoy a girl to do the Daddy/daughter role-play.I like it a lot and the sex is always volcanic.And by the way, I am looking for MY lil girl if any of you ladies would like to respond.

  16. I have been enjoying a Daddy/Bad little girl role play for a few months now with a man i trust. When he first brought it up i was a bit taken aback but then decided to go with it. Id never thought of calling anyone daddy before. The though had never crossed my mind.
    But seeing his face when i call him daddy or when he tells me im his dirty little girl is totally worth it. Not to mention the best sex of my life!
    Im a pleaser and i get turned on knowing that im giving someone their ultimate fantasy.

  17. rédacteur…

    […]The “Daddy” Thing « Radspace[…]…

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