My Kryptonite

I honestly do my best to get along with people in the scene. I try to be cordial and nice to most everyone I meet. Sometimes it’s not that easy.

Some people rub me the wrong way and they always will. There’s just something about them that annoys me and will always annoy me. Most of the time, I try to convince myself that it’s all in my head, that maybe this person is not all that bad. Maybe I just had one bad encounter with this person and it tainted my view. I try to get along.

Then their name pops up or I see them and all the crap that I pushed down comes flooding back. Every annoying little habit or personality trait that gets under my skin is right there before me – this huge tableau of irritation hanging in front of my eyes. Honestly, it makes me not want to participate sometimes when I know certain people are going to be around.

My wife, Sandy, says I should just ignore them. However, some people are hard to ignore because they fill up whatever room they are in. In scene parties, it’s either some loud-mouthed Toppy Top or other attention whore that keeps churning away like some perpetual motion machine. I can’t avoid them and I can’t get a word in edgewise – I’m screwed. The worst part is when other folks like these people – then I’m doubly fucked. Now it’s all about my intolerance rather than their inability to see how annoying this person truly is.

Can someone just throw me a bone here? I’ve always read people well my whole life, it can’t be that I just stopped being able to do that effectively. I’ll toot my own horn and say that for the most part, my pegging of someone as a fucktard is often proved to be correct.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be hanging out by the snack table.

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7 Responses to “My Kryptonite”

  1. Disclaimer: Sleepless in Chicago

    Oh my snarky friend, I feel your pain. Truly. Those folks are tiring. The

    And your fucktard radar, I would imagine, really is accurate.

    I guess there have to be some patient, caring souls who can deal with the problematic people. God Bless ’em.

    As I am getting older, and not necessarily more tolerant, I find that I am needing to pick my battles more carefully. If it is someone I only see once or twice a year (if that) at a party, well, I can go find the snack table and find someone to roll my eyes at. Or grab Joel and relocate. And take some non fucktards along.

    Work place people are something else entirely. Minimal civility is my response. I just don’t have the energy to engage. Some may say to empathize, but after the 3rd year of listening to someone’s health issues ad nauseum, I am not gonna be that person.

  2. I feel you, man. I’ve found one or two people that I would completely avoid if on my own…..arrogant, pompous, even a bit creepy, etc.

    But…..they are friends with people I am friends with (who totally don’t seem to have the same opinions I do) so we will likely be thrust together at any parties etc. so I have to be nice and go with the flow.

  3. I feel you, man. I’ve found one or two people that I would completely avoid if on my own…..arrogant, pompous, even a bit creepy, etc.

    But…..they are friends with people I am friends with (who totally don’t seem to have the same opinions I do) so we will likely be thrust together at any parties etc. so I have to be nice and go with the flow.

  4. Sometimes I have a really low tolerance for theatrics. I find I get easily irritated by the people who have to be the centre of attention ALL THE TIME. I feel like shouting, “Just shut up already, we all know you are here and some of us don’t think you are as great as YOU obviously think you are!”.

    Of course I don’t say that, that wouldn’t be nice.

    Then there are the blow-hards – the ones who are EXPERTS on everything and anything and just have to constantly regale you with their “brilliance” and who are totally in love with the sound of their own voice as they utter sentence upon sentence of pure crap.

    Blow-hards and Drama Queens. Yuck. And how come everyone else seems to LOOOOOOVE them?

    I just try and hide and pretend to be nice.

  5. Well, it’s true, there are people I don’t like, too, and it does make me question myself when lots of other people seem to like them (men or women). Sometimes if I look closely at the situation, what I don’t like about the other person often turns out to be a trait in myself that I need to work on. For instance, there was a woman I had a hard time getting to know because for a long time I saw her as always jockeying to be the center of attention — flirting, talking and laughing loudly, etc. — but the truth is I probably do that just as much myself. When I took the time to sit down and talk with her, and to let go of my little jealous feelings, I really did like her.

    I get along with most people, I suppose, but I do like a good conversation and that requires both parties to exhibit a bit of intelligence. When that doesn’t happen, I lose interest quickly. Is that wrong and snobby of me? Yes, probably, maybe… but there are a lot of people in the scene and I can’t like everyone. I want to be with the ones I like.

  6. Sandy, great response. I can certainly relate to this. And I can agree with you Rad. I often feel wary of participating when people I dislike are around. There are many people I encounter and dislike because of one specific trait, but loads of others seem to like them, and I wonder if maybe they don’t know about that specific trait or if they think it’s ok, ie. being sexual with anyone they play with and expecting it, or acting as if you’re everyone’s top (Toppy Top), or going non-stop about yourself…whoa wait…”going non-stop about yourself” – I have certainly been guilty of that myself. I do it when I am nervous, but I bet it annoys the crap out of some people.

    This is an interesting topic. There are obviously people we dislike for our reasons, or their specific traits or personalities, but what about our specific traits and personalities?

  7. Although I’m often snarky and certainly opinionated, I realize that there are people who don’t like me for various reasons. I just live with it.

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