Ode To Fetlife

I joined this community of fetishists over the summer but have only recently started contributing on a regular basis and simply hanging out with the crowd. I have to say that it has been an enjoyable experience.

It only made sense for a social network like Fetlife would spring up for kinky people a la MySpace or Facebook. Those communities have proved to be less than friendly towards “our kind” in the past but it’s somewhat understandable. Lots of young folks hang out on those sites and there’s always the potential for unscrupulous trash or downright criminal to prey upon them. Also, the rather vocal social conservative crowd just cannot abide people they don’t agree with, hence, Fetlife.

It has the basics that one expects when joining a social network but lacks the bells and whistles. I’m assuming that as time goes by, more bells and whistles will be added to enhance the experience. What it does do well is allow like minded folks to find each other, creating a cloud of contacts that lead to other contacts and so forth. I’ve met some really nice folks on there that I would not have otherwise and not just people into what I’m into. I’ve met all sorts of people of varying gender identities and proclivities who are the salt of the earth as well as the pepper.

What I love most about Fetlife are the “Groups” – simply put, they are user created message boards catering to as many topics as one can think of. If the topic is not included, you can create it yourself (actually, I’m tempted to start my own group with a population of me). The great thing about these groups are the often high level of conversation that you find there. People who know me know that once I get into a good conversation, I’m prone to want to keep it going for as long as possible. A lot of the people take what they say seriously and I think that’s great. Yes, some folks can be too serious but so what – it certain beats someone just yelling the word “ass” while they masturbate. It’s not that there isn’t some of that going on as well but those folks tend to find their little comments buried among the better read posts.

I really am not trying to be a commercial for Fetlife and I will receive no renumeration from them for writing this. I am singing the praises of it because, let’s face it, whenever there’s a place I can discuss science fiction, Dungeons & Dragons and spanking, that’s a pretty friggin good place.

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5 Responses to “Ode To Fetlife”

  1. i do like Fetlife a LOT, but I’m already having an issue with feeling disconnected there. I hope I’m not the only one who feels there’s more than one way to do things, more than one way to define things, that there’s no board of directors of BDSM who hand out Master certifications and decide who’s submissive and who’s not, who’s merely dominant vs. a Dom.

    On many of the threads, there seems to be a belief that there’s a heirarchy in place — “Master/slave” being the ultimate, most serious level you can reach in our world. I get the feeling sometimes that “just submitting” or “just getting spanked” is a sub-par replacement for the nirvana that some apparently have reached.

  2. I like fetlife! I hang out and just read everything. I would liket to see a way to do a search on the members Ca has so many.

  3. I haven’t checked it out yet. So far vanilla networking sites have just added new opportunities for my friends to feel I am neglecting them and I didn’t see any reason to bring that into my kinky life. I always thought spankfinder/fetlife, etc were more dating sites than anything else. I went through my net-dating phase, am partnered up now, and not looking for new partners, so I haven’t paid them any attention, though I know F and many other people are on them. This testimonial has piqued my curiosity, though. I guess I’ll check it out. Thanks!

  4. Thanks for the recommendation. MC and I joined yesterday and it seems to be a great site! We’re having fun finding out there are some kinky folks in our little town, after all.

  5. Fetlife is a dangerous place for those of us prone to major procrastination/time wasting issues. Wjen I sign in each morning, it’s VERY hard for me to limit my time to, say..an hour. Its a massive time sucker! And it’s damned FUN!! It’s one of THE most user friendly sites ever!

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