Do We Need To Lighten Up?

Is it fun yet?

I’ve talked about the seeming lull in the spanking scene and the fact that a lot of people don’t seem to be exhibiting a lot of joy or enjoyment in it at all. Part of it probably has to do with the malaise that’s fallen over the U.S. and that seems to be spreading outwards from it. Most people I know are struggling to make ends meet and hate their jobs if they have one. With Christmas coming, I find that I am reticent about spending any money at all just in case I may need it later if I lose my position. Depression really does suck the life and color out of everything around you – I can understand that.

This is why I wish that people in the scene, especially those that don’t seem to be having a lot of fun, would just sit back and enjoy what it is they do have and just try to have a good time. I mean that from all aspects of the scene not just as a Top. Sometimes just going out and having fun for fun’s sake is enough. Everything on Earth does not have to have ten layers of importance piled on top of it. Remember that we call what we are doing “play” for a reason, it’s not supposed to be work.

I see people out there, whether online or in person, that act as if every meeting, even if just for a fun spanking or even a little more, has to be with the potential One of their lives. They desire this thing so much that it’s practically an obsession. Constantly hunting for The One is way too much pressure to put on human interraction and certainly too much pressure to put on having a good time. Honestly, it stinks of desperation IMHO. Very little in life rises to the level of importance that desperation is a required emotion.

I play with different people – a wide variety of types and styles. I play because I enjoy it and because the interraction between me and that person is going to be different than all the other interractions I’ve had. This difference is what I enjoy the most combined with the fact that I just enjoy spanking someone. Some experiences are better than others but so what? Everything can’t be a carbon copy or especially a reflection of some non-existant ideal. I enjoy what I have rather than worrying about what I don’t.

Widening your horizons is a good idea as well. From my experience, bottoms tend to be more tolerant of varying types of Tops than vice versa. Male Tops, as far as I’m concerned, tend to be the worst. If your criteria for playing is a Size 2 woman then more power to you and remember to pick up your loneliness on the way out. If my criteria for playing was to only play with women willing to act like a daughter or schoolgirl then I would not be playing at all. I can’t be that rigid in my expectations.

The world sucks and the economy sucks but we don’t have to let our corner of society suck as well. Lots of people out there to spank and people willing to spank them. Everything else is gravy.


7 Responses to “Do We Need To Lighten Up?”

  1. Rad –
    I say this nicely.
    From what I have read here, you seem to have done pretty well. You have a marriage that is the envy of most, and do VERY WELL in the scene.

    One of the women in a club chat room gave me some advice on how I should approach getting started: “Think of it being like dating.” Well, then if it’s like dating, then there are a lot of people who:

    Will chat with you, but never “go out” with you.
    Start out OK, but change their mind before”going out”.
    “Try you” once, but then move on.
    “Go out” with you once because of your reputation.
    Won’t do so because of a reputation.
    Won’t do so because of any one of 1000 mysterious reasons.
    “Go out” with someone who’s persistent.
    Are “going out” because the alternative of sitting home is horrible.
    Change their mind in the middle for any one of 1000 mysterious reasons.
    Don’t go out with someone already in a relationship.

    (And by “you”, I don’t specifically mean you – our gracious host here)

    Substitute a few words, look at it again, and then how different is dating?

    You have a pretty strong drive. I think that there are much more singles out there looking for permanent partners+ than there are driven players looking for diversity. Matches are going to harder to find. (Which brings to mind another analogy – “Swingers”)

  2. I don’t think my experience is any different than the experience of lots of people in the scene. Admittedly, I haven’t met every single one of them so I’m just using a sampling of the ones I have met.

    I’m not going to go through your list of dating experiences but I will say that it depends on what kind of “dating” one is doing. If it’s to go out and have a good time with no baggage then I’d say that mirrors the way things happen in the scene. I meet someone, get to know them and then ask them to play (or vice versa). We have fun. If I was single and we clicked then maybe the fun would evolve – if we didn’t click in that way, we at least had fun.

    As for people looking for partners versus people looking for diversity – I’d say there are decent quantities of both. My point here was to say that putting so much weight on meeting the potential “one” may be getting in the way of some people just having a good time.

  3. I agree Rad it is play!! I love to play. I will not play with just anyone but I love to talk to everyone to see if play would be possible. Many men do not play with me becuase of my size and this is ok there are just as many who I love to play with and they play with me. Choices are what this world is about. It only sucks if you let it be that way. *WEG* but then again sometimes sucking is not a bad thing!! Oh my did I just say that out loud. *wink* Kiss kiss have a happy

  4. i am like kathy – i like to play a lot. i was single for a long time in the scene before i met rad, and it was at times very frustrating because i was looking for someone special, but i did go out and play a lot. this increased the people i met, not to mention, i was able to try a lot of things i may not have explored if i were only with one person. to all who are looking, hang in there and try to have fun in the meantime!

  5. Well said Rad! I think everyone can use a lot of appreciating what we have right now. And really, spanking is relatively not that expensive. I love that we call it playing…cause well ummm it can be los of fun!! Kathy i love your play on the word suck! Life is all about choices and broadening our horizons and choices!

    Spanking has allowed me to gain confidence, find out more about who I am, what I want and what I need. It makes the hard times easiar for sure.

  6. […] couple of days ago, ThisGuy45 compared the spanking scene to dating as a response to my article about having fun in the scene rather than […]

  7. I love that in this tight economy, MY favorite thing in the FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait to meet up with you next month, Rad..and get what ” daddy” knows is best. Wanna meet your lovely bride, too! Lisa

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