Playing To Just Play

Why is this hard for me to figure out?

I’ll say it again, discipline is my thing. The way I like to play, the way I like to fantasize, the fiction I like to write and the videos I like to watch are all on the discipline/punishment side. However, I should be able to just play for the sake of enjoying spanking someone but it’s getting exceedingly more difficult for me to do this.

I don’t know whether the focusing of my kink has had the side effect of fetishizing discipline more than other flavors of spanking but that’s entirely possible. Perhaps I’m so mentally turned on by discipline that I find it hard to achieve the same feeling giving a generic spanking. Achieving this state of mind is made harder if I don’t even have a make-believe reason for giving the spanking. If it’s role play, then it’s easy to just create a scenario. If it’s someone being themselves and me being myself, it gets harder if there is no reason for the spanking. In that case, I’m just spanking them physically and playing out the discipline in my head. The only problem is that I can’t really verbalize/scold the way I can when it’s specific; the scolding also helps me get into my head space.

Do other folks have this issue or are they able to more easily compartmentalize their kink – spanking one way at certain times and a more preferred way again later?

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9 Responses to “Playing To Just Play”

  1. Rad…we are on the same wave length today…only in separate directions. (see my blog haha). I am trying to figure this out for myself only in the other direction. If you figure it out – please let me know.

  2. I prefer discipline play, too. or, at least the type of play where the top takes charge. If I’m “just playing,” I have to fantasize more in my head. I mean, I can do it, but I do prefer the scolding and the actual talk from the top himself…

  3. Tomorrow…

  4. …and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
    Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
    To the last syllable of recorded time

  5. What is that quote from, Rad? I like it!

    For the most part, I like having a reason to be spanked…I did or didn’t do such and such, therefore I deserve a spanking. I used to think that I just liked spanking for spanking’s sake, but it turns out that it does more for my headspace if there is a reason for it…even if that reason is just that I’m very stressed out and I need to cry. I love that the tops I know are cool with whatever reason I come up with (and I’m way good at those!). They are very good at reading my body language and knowing when I’ve had enough…or need more.

    Cool blog post, Rad.

  6. Susan: Macbeth.

  7. Rad, I think it’s been quite rare that I’ve just been spanked to be spanked. There’s pretty much always some “reason”, though it’s been pretty contrived often enough. In our house, I can gently bit or pinch F. and I know it’ll lead to a spanking. It’s shorthand, but it gets us into a scene. I’d say we’re pretty much playing just to play in that case, even though we have that little thread of plot or reason. (It’s almost become an inside joke between the two of us.) I know I personally do need at least that little thread, or it’s just hand + ass = zzzzz.

  8. cg: I like to have reasons for giving a spanking even if they are role played reasons. Totally fake or funny reasons don’t do it for me – I’m not going to spank someone because they took my seat or something like that.

  9. I understand… completely.

    Personally, on a related issue, I’ve never been able to completely understand the concept of “play.” To me, “play” connotes fun and games. But discipline is anything but fun and games. Well, it may be a game, but it isn’t necessarily “fun” for the top or bottom. It is more of a need that in an ideal world, both top and bottom understand and can help each other with.

    This is not to say that I do not enjoy having fun, because I do. It’s just that having “fun” is but a small aspect of my spanko orientation.

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