A Little Knowledge Goes A Wrong Way

Repeat after me: It’s OK not to know everything spontaneously.

When I got involved in the scene back in early 2005, I was a total neophyte. Although I’d been “around” the spanking scene (at least online) for about ten years, my knowledge base was extremely limited to those things I’d either read about or seen in videos. I had given it a lot of thought and tried to gain as much “book knowledge” as I could especially in the etiquette of the spanking community. This sort of thing was easy to learn if you knew where to look – in those days, most of what I gleaned was off of the Usenet and the newsgroups alt.sexuality.spanking and later soc.sexuality.spanking. I learned a lot from those groups and got to correspond with a small number of people that I met there. The fact is that when I decided to enter the real life spanking community, I knew little beyond the basics.

Let’s face it, spanking is not hard to do. As long as you have good enough aim not to slap someone in the kidneys then the rest is easy to pick up. If a person is willing to learn by admitting they don’t know how to do something then they’ll do fine.

The problem is that some people seem to refuse to understand that it’s not a competition between you and someone else. If a person admits to not knowing how to do something, that does not put them “lower” than another person – there is just not that kind of pecking order to worry about. Unfortunately, some people seem unwilling to admit their lack of experience. For example, I once witnessed someone at the club who spoke as if he was Mister Expert. At some point he was invited to participate in a scene and handed a leather strap after he claimed an expertise in. He drew his arm back and proceeded to flail about in a spastic tableau, striking the woman in the hip and too high a couple of times but mostly hitting himself. It was obvious that his “expertise” in straps was limited to none.

It would have been much better if this person had just come clean about what he did or did not know how to do. There’s no shame in not knowing something and having to ask – certainly a lot less than becoming a character that some schmuck writes about in his blog a couple of years later.

I know that people don’t want to admit they are inexperienced because they think it comes across as “uncool”. However, this is not about a coolness factor or lack thereof, it’s about doing something in a safe way that only harms someone on the receiving end the way they want to be harmed. Certainly a momentary embarrassment is less important than causing someone else serious injury. Asking for advice or answers is certainly better than harming your own reputation as well.


One Response to “A Little Knowledge Goes A Wrong Way”

  1. GAH! yes…i would much rather know if someone is inexperienced so I can prepare myself.

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