Making Friends

One of the things I love most about the years I’ve been in the scene is how many people I’ve met, gotten to know and become friends with. It is the major fringe benefit of coming out.

I never was one for making friends in life. Sure, I would get to know kids in school and then later at my job but making real friends, people you would like to see on a regular basis were few and far between. That’s not to say I did not make some friends, just not that many.

Being in the scene has been an exercise in being comfortable with myself, my desires and with those around me. My scene life has made me more confident in almost all aspects of my life mostly because I’ve never felt more at ease and open as I have been when in the spanking community. This comfort zone has provided me for the first time in my life with an opportunity not to be guarded about myself or to feel like a thinly veiled freak. This openness, especially when among like-minded people, has paid a dividend by allowing me to meet people that I’ve developed a connection with. Oddly enough, this blog also seems to have created a conduit by which people out there can get to know me before ever having any contact with me and I’ve gotten to meet and know quite a few good people because of it.

The hardest part is keeping the lines of communication open between me and those I know. All of the responsibilities of life sometimes get in the way but I try as much as I can to reach out to people on occasion than to say, “How’s it going?” One of the things I do try to do is answer every e-mail or correspondence that comes my way. Having a personality that likes to blather on helps.

Another difficulty is dealing with people who reach out yet show nothing but their own self-interest in almost everything they say. They may not be doing anything overtly unfriendly but it just gets tiring to deal with the constant barrage of ego. It’s hard for me to handle folks like this because I have a feeling that trying to explain that I’m less than comfortable about them would fall on deaf ears. I guess this falls under the category of learning to say “no” every once in a while.


7 Responses to “Making Friends”

  1. One of my pet peeves are people when you ask “How are you doing?” their response every single time is a negative one. I guess that’s one of the reasons I have a real bad habit of not staying in touch especially when times are tough. I tend to withdraw and I don’t want to bother anyone else with my issues and problems (ask G).

    Today is my birthday. I say this not to get a reaction, but to state that this is a great day for me to consciously make the time & effort to reach out and keep in touch with people. One thing I’ve learned in the past 2 months is life is short and friends that care are a precious gem indeed.

    Thanks for the post and email.


  2. Happy Birthday D, I hope you get everything you need.

    Good post Rad, I read all of them.

  3. D: There’s a difference between someone who is constantly negative (or self-centered) and a friend who just needs to talk. The former can get tiring, the latter comes with the territory.

    Brian: I ditto what you said. Happy B’day D.

  4. I’m learning that very quickly. And thanks! Wish you and Sandy were available for some birthday spanks. 🙂

  5. People are hard…and I think that some don’t even realize how negative they come across. We all go through stuff….all of us. I too feel very comfortable with scene friends because it makes me feel lilke I am not “weird”. Okay…maybe I am weird….lol. Another great post Rad. I am getting spanked tonight! YYYEEESSSSSS! haha

  6. It’s always a relief to read that someone else feels or thinks the same way I do sometimes. Thanks Rad and D (and happy birthday).

  7. Happy birthday, D! I miss you, too. Hope we can see each other soon.

    Rad, I agree that extremely self-absorbed and negative people are hard to be around.

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