Is Discipline Erotic?

I’m not going to pussyfoot around because I’m going to say, “Yes”.

There’s an intrinsic point  whenever I allow my thoughts to escape my head and onto the page here or anywhere else: Those thoughts are my own. My desires are my own. My kink is my own. I don’t know about nor am truly concerned with how others experience their spanking kink – I respect their choice but have my own flavor to enjoy.

Spanking turns me on; that’s a fact that I can never deny. Though the style of spanking that I enjoy leans heavily towards discipline and punishment, there is no way around the truth that I am turned on by what I am doing. Yes, I may be spanking someone as part of a prearranged punishment – a real punishment for something they’ve done wrong. Even then, I cannot deny that what I am doing is directly connected to that part of my brain that houses my libido. That’s just the way it is.

I’m sure for some people, especially some on the receiving end of punishment, it may not be what they want to hear. Perhaps they want their punisher to be a strict and stoic individual with a singular minded purpose to punish because that punishment is necessary. Yes, that is often the case and a large part of the experience for me. The act of discipline for its own sake and my involvement in meting it out is the core element of what I enjoy. However, the reason I enjoy it is not just for its own sake but because throughout my life, especially those years from childhood to my forties when spanking was relegated to fantasy, I connected those thoughts to my sexuality. Now that I am engaging in these things and not merely fantasizing, I cannot separate them. Honestly, I don’t want to separate them.

If I was a real daddy spanking my daughter or a real teacher punishing a student in the real world, I would be forced by decency to compartmentalize the act from any thoughts I might have that would be inappropriate. If I truly was that person doing those things in the real world, I would probably not be who I am today and certainly would not engage in them especially if I sexualized the act (leaving that for my private life).  But I’m not a real life person who punishes people as part of my duty. I am a person who got into this kink because the fantasies got so powerful that I was compelled to act upon them or be unfulfilled.

Yes, giving punishment spankings turns me on.

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13 Responses to “Is Discipline Erotic?”

  1. MrCommenter Says:

    When playing with others than Sandy, does your excitement show, and how do you deal with it?

  2. This is exactly why I never spanked either of my kids. I knew it was an erotic thing for me. Granted….I mostly play for fun…but the couple of times I felt like I NEEDED discipline…it was still very erotic and turned me on big time.

  3. Mr C: You mean how do I deal with an erection? At age 45, I have a little more control over it than I did at age 25 (sadly). I do get aroused on occasion and no one I’ve played with has yet to jump off my lap screaming so I guess we’re sort of all adults in this.

    Barb: If discipline is erotic in a person’s head then I can’t see how it can’t be in real life.

  4. I agree that discipline is erotic and as someone who has been on the bottom on occasion, being spanked is also erotic. Discipline is sex as far as I’m concerned, but then so is kissing and fondling and any numbers of activities unrelated to intercourse.

  5. Hell yeah!

    As a bottom, it can be uncomfortable/painful, but yeah, it is erotic.

    Some argue that they don’t consider spankings sexual at all. I am unclear how something can be fetishized and not be at all sexual.

    I was a bit of a wreck when I was exploring going from fantasy to real time. Like many there was a lot of guilt, and what I felt was rationalization. I really did think that well, if it was discipline, it was not, could not, must not be sexual. Gee. I mean, even tho everytime I masturbated, I thought about spanking, no no.. not sexual at all.

    Fast forward 8 or 9 yrs and I can laugh at that. I think it is all part of the journey. Or at least it was for me.

    It’s HOT when I hand Joel the meanie hair brush or bath brush and tell him to go at it. Sure we can come up with a reason for discipline, tho sometimes it is a little contrived. Sometimes I really like being there and put my butt up just a bit more to meet the swat. Sometimes I am trying to swim off his lap. I think he likes both equally. I know I do.

  6. Oh and one more thing. I’ve been with Joel for over 4 yrs now. It keeps getting hotter. Not a bad thing at all.

  7. We’re on the same page here. Giving a discipline spanking is erotic to me too… that’s definitely part of it. Often times that can’t be at the forefront of things because it wouldn’t be appropriate. I recall watching a porno in a college human sexuality class. Sitting in a classroom with other students, taking notes… lol… yea, it wasn’t appropriate to act on the sexual feelings. Doesn’t mean watching the porno wasn’t a turn-on though.

    Same with a discipline spanking. It’s usually not appropriate to act on it… but it is a turn-on.

    And I gotta say too… I think it’s been a turn-on for most that get spanked. While it is motivating and helps with guilt and has real value in that way… I think there is a certain sexual turn-on too.

    ~Todd

  8. I think I am just coming around to integrating these two things in my mind. Even when the discipline pushes the edges of my pain threshold and is mentally and emotionally very taut, my body responds. Sometimes it takes my head a few minutes to catch up, but yeah, the whole act is very hot. How could it not be? What’s more, I think it is hot in a much deeper and more intense way than other types of spankings–which runs directly contrary to the idea that discipline spankings are “supposed” to be the ones that aren’t sexual.

    It’s one of the reasons I tend to keep my spanking scenes with people other than F. on the short and playful side. Doesn’t mean they don’t hurt, (they do!) Doesn’t mean they’re not sexy, (They are!) but I just don’t find them as deeply erotic. Not that this is true for everyone (I know it’s not) but for me the difference between these kinds of spankings has been analogous to a game of kiss-chase vs. sex. I don’t know exactly how I feel about it now. Obviously lots of people in deeply committed relationships often engage in discipline with other people. I think I have a little growing up to do about this.

  9. I don’t know if it requires “growing up” but revolves around finding your own way.

  10. Could be, Rad. I posted some stuff referring to this post on my blog. I’m working on finding that own way! 🙂

  11. THANK GOD!!!
    For all of you (Rad included) who have been honest enough to own up to the fact that even disciplinary spankings can be erotic. I have felt so repressed my whole life over this issue, thought I was sick and perverse.

    I know there are people who are into discipline and don’t get any erotic thrill from it, but I can get a thrill from a fantasy in which I know that I’m not even the one slated for punishment (it could be the idea that another woman is going to get it; and, for me, it’s almost always M/F — I might overhear the man whisper to his woman to prepare herself, or even go to her room and await punishment. Sometimes, even the idea that the punishment, a sound strapping, will be witnessed by others… oh my!)

    I’m so happy that there are so many others who share similar feelings. I agree that for each of us, our kink is unique, but the collective number of people who share similar fantasies, etc. is awesome vindication of a life of self-recrimination. And yes, I do on occasion, feel that I need/deserve “real” punishment, but there is still an erotic element to it in anticipation and memory, though the punishment itself may not be enjoyable.

  12. P.S.

    For those of you who are into real discipline, you might want to check out dtherapy.ning, which promotes the idea of mentors and mentees and has a variety of sub-groups and discussions. It is not a site designed for eroticism, though I’m sure a goodly number of its members find various dimensions of eroticism in discipline therapy (dtherapy).

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