Moments Of Embarrassment

One of things that the scene has done for me is allow me to work through a lot of the shyness that I was cursed with most of my life. There are those moments, though…

Asking people to play or playing in public – these are things that are a lot easier than they once were. For the most part, I function pretty well in the spanking scene and am quite comfortable. As relaxed as I am with spanking and spankos, I find myself getting embarrassed over certain moments of spontaneity that leave me both tongue-tied and somewhat immobile.

A perfect example is when I’m hanging out with a bunch of spankos and one or more of them are of the outspoken variety. We’re all hanging around having fun when some spanking related remark is made and suddenly one of the outspoken women lifts a dress and sticks out her ass in a cutesy “spank me” pose. Perhaps most red-blooded spanko men would take the opportunity to respond by swatting them on the ass in an equally cutesy way but I invariably become frozen. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m caught off guard or just not in spanko mode mentally but I generally can’t think fast enough to do anything let alone give her a couple of swats.

The thing is that afterwards I’m even more embarrassed because I feel like I’ve insulted this person. They got all spanko playful with me and I just stood there, in effect, rejecting them. Whenever this happens, I say to myself that I won’t let it happen again but it always does. I can’t seem to break myself of the habit of getting stunned when I should just play along for the fun of it. It’s times like those that I wish my inner nerd was a little deeper down.

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4 Responses to “Moments Of Embarrassment”

  1. Inner nerds are cute Rad. haha.

  2. I think everyone has situations like this, and that we are all our own worst critics. Often I spend an inordinant amount of time after such an incident, recalling (obsessing) over what I did/said versus all the great witty responses or appropriate actions or whatever I should/could have done.

    Luckily, many people get our intentions and are much kinder to us than we are to ourselves.

  3. Barb: I’ve gotten used to mine.

    dawna: Perhaps you’re right about that. I’m sure there are times when someone does something a bit bold and then realizes they embarrassed the other person unintentionally.

  4. Miss Sassy Jess Says:

    I agree with Spankingbarbie, Inner nerds ARE super -cute! 🙂 I understand where you’re coming from though. *hugs*

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