The 24/7 Thing

There’s a reason I don’t engage in an around the clock DD or D/s relationship.

I simply do not have the mental energy for it nor the patience to oversee such a thing.

My life is about the every day responsibilities that I engage in. Work, bills, mother, cats and especially my relationship with my wife. For the most part, we are a normal couple who occasionally take disciplinary side trips. It’s my version of the kink and Sandy’s as well. There are some agreed upon “rules” that she follows (or faces the consequences if she breaks) but for the most part we live a life like any other couple (albeit an extremely wiseass couple). We both have busy lives outside of our relationship so this system works for us.

Although I might see the appeal of a life where one is engaged in things around the clock, I just can’t get my mind around the concentration required to do this. It is obviously a level of concentration that I do not possess. I can focus myself in short bursts like when I’m involved in a disciplinary scene but know that I could not sustain it for the long haul.

I suppose I both have an admiration for people who can do this as well as a bit of confusion about how a lifestyle like this can fit into a regular life. I also wonder how long a relationship like this can last. Does a bottom or sub eventually tire of being told what to do and that ends the relationship? Or is it that they are finally getting exactly what they always wanted and are content with the arrangement?

All I know is that for Sandy and me, spanking and discipline are merely a very strong spice on the laughing, joking, loving and equal relationship we have. It works for us and that’s good enough for me.

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6 Responses to “The 24/7 Thing”

  1. The thought of 24/7 makes me very tired. I honestly don’t know how people can do it if one or both are working outside the home.

    Then again, I’ve been up all night and the thought of anything makes me very tired.

    And your last sentence applies to Joel and myself as well. It works for us and that is good enough for me.

  2. Same here. Ditto. All of the above.

    Floyd has always said his worst nightmare would be to be married to someone who cannot think for herself or would not be a partner in all of the stuff that life brings.

    That said, there are small things that run through our days that remind us a bit of the type of power play that works best for us; little stupid stuff that would mean absolutely nothing to anyone but us. I love those reminders. They thrill me and they ground me at the same time.

    I hate to say this, but I think I am high maintenance enough during a session. I can’t imagine anyone having to try to deal with me control-wise 24/7. I think he would keel over exhausted after a very short time if he tried, and I love him too much to want to see that happen.

  3. It adds a spark when you don’t engage in it 24/7 and then suddenly you get a text or a message “demanding” that you do something right that second. The rush I get in this break from my regular monotany is a blessing…and adds spice to an otherwise boring day. I’m sure it works for some….but I know it wouldn’t work for me.

  4. Real discipline, for many reasons, isn’t my thing.

    However, I am friends with a couple who do have a 24/7 DD relationship. Honestly, I think their relationship is very much like yours and very much like any vanilla couple’s.

    He isn’t constantly running around correcting her or micro-managing everything she does and always telling her what to do. She has a few agreed upon rules and she’ll get punished for disobeying those. From what I understand, real discipline is an exceedingly rare thing. Spanking play is much more frequent than a real discipline session (even if the spanking play has a discipline theme to it).

    She’s an intelligent, responsible, and outspoken woman and he isn’t trying to change that or bend her to his will. The main thing is that he has final say if they reach an impasse. I don’t think it comes up very often as they usually reach an agreement (since it isn’t like he just barks out orders and she obeys; they discuss things).

    She definitely isn’t downtrodden and not getting her way and she most certainly isn’t hiding in the shadows or afraid to voice her opinion.

  5. Perhaps my perception of what a 24/7 relationship is off compared with the reality (if I understand iggy correctly).

  6. Rad, your last comment encompasses what I was going to say. I would say that most of the couples I know who describe themselves as “24/7” (Chris and I included) would not describe it as around-the-clock-playtime-spanking. Indeed, 24/7 in the way I see it used online and between real people is a very loose description and would apply to lots of couples who don’t use the term – even you and Sandy. Indeed, above you wrote, “There are some agreed upon “rules” that she follows (or faces the consequences if she breaks) but for the most part we live a life like any other couple..”

    Of course there are people who try for some sort of intense micromanagement. And maybe for some of them it is possible. But I think those arrangements and relationships are few and far between, even between spanking/kink-minded people. And, you know, they are great fantasy/story fodder.

    Of course, the awareness is always there, but our lives are busy and full even if I haven’t been spanked for 3 days. Child, school, work, soccer, shopping, bills, cooking, etc. are all just as prevalent as the spanking (or sex). It doesn’t involve scheduled, hourly sex games or naked housework or any of the things commonly fantasized about usually (sometimes, if there’s time for playtime). There’s no meticulous list of chores to be done everyday, just some general expectations and occasionally special requests like, “Will you drop these off at the cleaners today?” (You know, the things a vanilla spouse might ask, too.) It often involves telling me to go to bed before I would on my own to because I need the sleep (and because I’m just goofing around, not doing productive things), a grumbled “wait until I have you alone in eight hours”, etc.

    Regarding the discipline part of it, if Chris told me how to do every little thing, I would be a very unhappy camper. Micromanagement *is* very tiring, very confining and doesn’t allow for much flexibility.

    sparkle

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