Pet Peeve #53

Is someone looking at me? OMG, someone is looking at me. Hey…look at me!

This would never have risen to the level of a peeve if not for the fact that I’ve now seen it a few times with different people. I’m talking about the person who seems to care more about being seen doing what they are doing than paying attention to what it is they are up to.

In my experience, I’ve seen it from spankers more than I have Doms or the BDSM crowd (although it most likely exists there as well). I’ve also seen it equally from men and women. Although it is probably a symptom of being new to playing in public, I have noticed it from folks who claim to be veterans of the scene.

It goes something like this: The spanker has a person across their lap and is spanking them. Normally, this variety of spanking is not hard at all (hard spankings require concentration, I think) and is often of the “patty cake” kind. As the person is patting away, their head is swiveling around to see who is watching them and it seems they are not paying attention to the person they are spanking at all. I can understand a quick glance around the room…maybe. But to constantly be scanning your surroundings while playing with someone strikes me as both rude and odd. Worst of all, I’ve even seen some Tops spanking as they hold conversations around them with whoever is passing by. Nothing says “I give a damn” more than a spanker talking about their breakfast while they are lightly tapping your ass.

Although it is rude to a person being spanked, I can’t help but be amused by those few folks who have a look on their face, usually a grin, as they look around the room to see who is watching. “Look, Mommy, I’m spanking someone…tee-hee”. I just find it funny.

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6 Responses to “Pet Peeve #53”

  1. Variations on this theme — I’m over someone’s knee, someone else walks by who knows him and strikes up a conversation with him. He should be concentrating on YOU, not the interloper — but he engages in a conversation. Me: “Hello, peanut gallery? Move along, please!” (there are always those who, at parties or clubs, feel it’s okay to call out, “spank her harder!” just because they know the person being spanked. I try to ignore them. Yes, sometimes you’re just fooling around, but if Rad or another hard player is spanking me I usually need to concentrate on taking the spanking.)

    Second variation — a male bottom whom I am topping at a party sees another female domme walk by — and in the middle of OUR scene calls over to the other domme — “Can we play next?” Me: “Apparently I BORE you so much that you are looking at and talking to other women? It’s time for the wooden paddle!” (Yes, this happened to me, and I was pissed…)

    Yet, there IS something to be said for being watched, and knowing that your top KNOWS there is an audience, and yet because of that, he’s paying extra “special” attention to you. You can concentrate on the job at hand knowing people are watching. It’s a little extra thrill. The crowd just remains in your peripheral vision.

  2. Until you start running RadSpace one night a month, by invitation only, with rules of behavior clearly posted, this is what you’re going to have to put up with.

  3. Rad,

    I can just picture those types of spankers. Too funny. And Sandy your comments were great as well.

    Of course not that *I* have any pet peeves of course. Nope.. Not at all.

    cough cough choke choke.

  4. I had a comment up earlier but was not able to format it properly accessing this site from my cell phone.

    Although I understand that I have no sway over the behavior of people in the scene, I don’t think there is any prohibition to commenting on them. This blog reflects my thoughts and does not reflect any attempt by me to make definitive or binding remarks. I claim no authority other than the right to speak my mind in any way I see fit.

    As always, those who comment are free to engage me in any way they wish.

  5. This is why I hate bottoming in a dungeon. The time before last I was regaled by an interloper who was sharing really disgusting Navy Equator Crossing hazing stories. I drew the line when he started talking about crawling through barf and yanked myself far enough out of subspace to tell him to stuff a sock in it.

    Where was the Top? Exactly.

  6. Wednesday: People like that are space invaders of the worst kind – either verbal or physical. My feeling is that unless a person is invited in, they should not kibitz.

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