Scene Friends

Sandy and I met some of folks last night that we have gotten to know through Shadow Lane and had a very nice dinner. The one thing that struck me as an added bonus of being involved in the scene is the number of friends I’ve made.

When I was back in my vanilla life with my vanilla ex, I had very few friends left. My ex did not like to socialize much (outside of her family) and I found that one by one, all of my college friends had drifted away. These were folks I would see at least once a week and occasionally go on vacations with. When my ex left, I discovered that I had few people in my life I could call friends or acquaintances outside of work.

One of the fringe benefits of being out in the scene and attending events in or outside of New York is the number of people I’ve gotten to know. I don’t know if it’s the camaraderie of what we do that brings us together and makes us open to relationships but it seems to me that the folks I’ve met, especially through Shadow Lane, are the most welcoming bunch I’ve ever come across. Admittedly, I have my wife Sandy to thank for most of it – left to my own devices I probably wouldn’t have the stones to just call folks up half a continent away and say, “Hey, coming into town…wanna get together?” Sandy is good at that and I’m happy to use her as an agent. Thanks to her, I’m traveling across the United States and hooking up with brand new long lost friends. It certainly gives vacations a more homey and relaxed feel when you “know” people who are local. Nothing like local restaurant recommendations from people who have avoided food poisoning.

The only oddity of this sort of thing comes when I try to explain how I know so many people living in so many different cities around the U.S. (and presumably abroad if we ever get around to that sort of travel). My explanation to coworkers revolves around either saying they were old friends who moved away or tossing the entire thing on my wife; Sandy can take the fall for it. I could conceivably say I met them all on the NASCAR circuit but I would not only have to explain when I had time to develop racing skills but explain when I initially developed an interest in NASCAR. Maybe I’ll just say we all are part owners of a horse.


7 Responses to “Scene Friends”

  1. Chris told me you guys had a great time. Glad you are having fun.

  2. Barb: Yes, it was nice to hang out and have a nice meal (even if the waiter was preoccupied with his friend having a birthday party at another table).

  3. Part of the thrill of doing something special and secretive is hiding it from the rest of the world. Your current excuse is quite believable.

  4. “We’ve met so many fun people in Vegas.” and “No, we don’t gamble much but we still have a good time.” and “I think that the best time to go out to breakfast is 2 AM.” and “No, we don’t go to shows usually, we just hang out.” … one of these days I’m going to have to come up with a better description of WITTWD. My family knows we don’t play golf or billiards either. 🙂

    It was great to see you. Have a great week!


  5. I weasel out of the friends thing by saying I met them on a listserv (actually true for some of them–I started making friends all over the country that way 2 years before I joined the scene). I don’t think that making friends via Internet is that uncommon for anyone these days.

    I am sucking though at ‘splaining how I can go to Vegas, gamble one dollar, and not be able to report on what saw there.

  6. My Vegas explanation always includes remarks about the fact that I won money. Whenever I mention that I won, they don’t want to hear anything else.

  7. Cool way to change the subject – Money!

    I used to make all my friends members of a online writing or music group. Now, the conversation goes:

    “How did you meet?”


    If the conversation is with older folk, it continues:

    “Is that safe?”

    “Safer than a bar!”

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