Feeling Free

Ahh, Santa Cruz and civilization (which means free high speed Internet access in our room). Big Sur (the place…not the name of a fat Dom) was pretty: redwoods, the ocean and the Henry Miller Library. Unfortunately, they pride themselves on cutting one off from civilization. I was jonesing in about three minutes.

Read on for today’s non-travelogue article.

There are three distinct mile markers on my road to personal freedom. The latest was my “coming out” into the spanking world. The first two were my discovery of masturbation and the great human creation that is pornography.

Masturbation has finally started to build the caché that it truly deserves. No more hairy palms or going blind or warts or any of the garbage that moralists tell you. Society seems to be catching up to the fact that it is not only OK but the safest of sex for teens and adults alike. My love of it in my teens not only relieved the pressure of my inabilty to talk to girls but allowed me many nights of sound sleep.

Pornography is something that still has too much of a stigma. Is it exploitation or is it merely a career choice? Who cares?!? When it’s good, it’s good and turns me on. My enjoyment of porn tends to be away from the spanking kink although I do sometimes like a good F/F video especially if it’s hard. When videos were one of my only outlets, sure, I watched tons. Now that I participate by spanking, I seem to need to watch it less than I did once upon a time (although, like I said, a good hard spanking video will still get me going).

All of the above, especially my accepting of my kink as normal, were moments when I took control of my own sexuality – I needed no one’s permission and that was very liberating in and of itself. Each one was a step away from the neurotic kid that worried about what everyone thought into the slightly less neurotic adult I am now.

I’m sure others have their own examples of similar moments.

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One Response to “Feeling Free”

  1. This has been my coming out year Rad….and it has been fantastic! The freedom to explore my sexuality any way that I want has been a gift….and I love it. Glad you made it back to civilization.

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