Life and Lemonade

The old saying, “Life…lemons…lemonade”. The scene is often my lemonade.

Life intrudes and sometimes in more ways than a foot in the door. It turns your world upside down with a punch to the belly just for good measure. I often find that just doing something I enjoy, like spanking itself or going to a party or the club, is completely necessary for me to keep my sanity.

Now for a brief tale. In early ’06, my father died of a massive heart attack. I went through the shock, the tears, the taking care of business and did it all without losing my sense of humor. In fact, I think my sense of humor kicked into overdrive as I stood at the wake, cracking jokes and entertaining the well-wishers. Less than two weeks later, Sandy and I went to Las Vegas for the Shadow Lane party with few people knowing about what had just happened in my life.

I’m sure there are some that might think it was selfish or strange of me to go considering all the grief that surrounded me. But the fact is that it was what I needed and has been what I have needed at other stress-filled times in my life. For me, spanking and the spanking scene itself is an escape from the real world. It’s a walk through the looking glass into a world that sits just underneath the the one that I live in every day. I can do things that I can’t at other times and for a few hours or days, not have to hide a part of me that I keep guarded at other times.

My writing is also an escape. When I was cranking out little stories, when that was my only outlet, I used the exercise to let my kinky thoughts take me away for a brief period of time. Writing here is a similar activity. Most people who read this have no idea what I do in my everyday life or the stress that I find myself under. The fact is that it is irrelevant to what I write here because those things are not the focus – and that’s a good thing for me. It allows me to get away from those annoyances or troubles and focus my attention on this part of my life, a part that I find eminently enjoyable.


14 Responses to “Life and Lemonade”

  1. Isn’t blogging an amazing thing? We tell anonymous people very private things about ourselves….with support and community behind us. It’s good. Real good….and I’m glad you have allowed me to share this mutual secret space.

  2. Barb: In many ways, I find that blogging can be a truly self-centered exercise. It’s like publishing a newspaper about yourself and putting it out for people to read if they so choose. The fact that anyone reads the stuff I write is amazing to me and somewhat bizarre but satisfying to some degree.

  3. I feel the same way….I look at my stats sometimes and go “All these people care about my dribble?”

  4. Barb: And even your drivel.

  5. It is a stress relief from work. I don’t blog much on the weekends, but during the week I need to escape from the madness at work.

  6. It doesn’t matter what you did two weeks later – I’m sure that you think about your father every day.

  7. With regard to your writing here – it sounds to me that you have it pretty good: you go to parties, clubs and conventions all over the country, you have what appears to be a waiting list of people who want you, you appear to be fortunate enough to live your desires with wife.

    So what’s up? Do you want more partners or more approval? You get MY pat on the back, if that’s what you need.

  8. TVisiting: More approval? No, I don’t think I have any need for that. The stresses I feel in life are almost entirely outside of my kinky life.

  9. dribble…drivel…..smartass…lol

  10. Yeah, I’m definitely with you on this one. I use the kink as an escape, not as a lifestyle, and the times I want it really bad are the times when I feel most stressed out in my “normal” life. I enjoy it all the time, but I *need* it when I feel like my head’s going to explode.

    Thanks for keeping up with this blog, Rad. I always know I’m going to read something interesting here.


  11. Don’t remember the movie… but Kathy Bates was once told “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and she retorted… “what about when life gives you shit?” lol… sometimes it does feel that way.

    Do know what you mean about spanking being an ‘escape.’ That’s the major reason we keep things like politics and religion out of it… and quickly drift away from those in the scene that are filled with drama and stress.

    Todd and Suzy

  12. Red: You’re welcome.

    T & S: I tend not to want to be around the dramatists but sometimes give an effort to try and help – assuming it will do any good. Often it does not.

  13. Going to the OTK night and just being around friendly people was great even though I didn’t play.

    It helped my hurt. I can definitely relate.

    The day my father died (I was 13)…my brother demanded we go to the Shorthills Mall (if you’re from NJ you know where it is…) because he had those plans…it wasn’t ideal but I think it helped to not be left to dwell on it and really get too sad to pull myself back out.

  14. Being sad and alone is the worst – too much time to make yourself even sadder by dwelling.

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