A Memory From Last Year’s Party

It may not be my most vivid memory from last year but it has stayed with me ever since.

Banquet night and our hostess Eve Howard is nice enough to grace us with her company by sitting at our table for dinner. Unfortunately, she was positioned between two folks who used the opportunity to bitch, moan, complain and criticize aspects of the party that were not to their liking.

Frankly, I was shocked and embarrassed. I should have stood up and said something but I think I was too horrified to speak. I know it’s a paid event and that we are all customers but there’s also a sense of community and even family that you don’t find at other gatherings. There’s also such a thing as a time and place for everything. If someone wants to complain, especially about piddly little things, they should wait until after the party and write a polite email.

The way I felt when I was watching the spectacle at my table was as if I’d gone to someone’s home for dinner and sat there while another guest complained about the food. Some people have no class.


19 Responses to “A Memory From Last Year’s Party”

  1. I remember this…I hope to God I wasn’t one of the ones complaining, but I don’t recall who was. It was really neat to have her sit with us, and it was a lot of fun. She’s super cool and down to earth.

    Do you remember that other dinner at the Mexican place and you told the waitress how FANTASTIC the food was?


  2. Do I remember the Mexican place? My second most embarrassing moment last year. I have never been at a table as loud as ours was.

    By the way, the word I used was “Phenomenal”.

  3. I remember when Eve Howard was “outed” by New York Magazine – they even printed her real name.

  4. “The way I felt when I was watching the spectacle at my table was as if I’d gone to someone’s home for dinner and sat there while another guest complained about the food.”

    OMG! I made a very similar analogy just this morning, only I said it’s like telling someone you don’t like their furniture while staying in their home. What I don’t understand is if people don’t like SL’s parties, why do they keep going back? There must be something good about it, so why not focus on the positive?

    Shadow Lane may not be perfect, but what group is? Tony, Eve and Butch have done SO much to support this community, and I’ll forever be grateful to have found them.

    So yeah, the complainers bother me too.

  5. Dey got no couth, Rad.

  6. DDon: I thought she gave that interview knowing that they would reveal her name.

    Sue: But can you imagine sitting there at a festive occasion next to the one and only Eve Howard and using the opportunity to vent about nonsense?

  7. What Laura said.

  8. I’m trying to imagine myself at that table and whether I’d restrain myself or say something later. Random bad luck to have malcontents at Eve’s table when it could have been ever the more enriching experience. But, knowing her, I’m sure she answered every complaint straight on, culled valid points out of the rudeness, and was her classy and erudite self all the way. Not that she suffers idiots, btw. She’s all about proper “comportment!”
    As far as her real name–it’s out there, but there’s no genuine propriety about using anything other than both hers and Tony’s scene names in a setting such as an SL party, IMO. You wouldn’t be any sort of “insider” for either knowing or using their real names anyway. Long live SL!

  9. Dang, I hope I wasn’t one of the loud ones at the Mexican place!

    By the way…great blog, Rad!

  10. JJ: You describe Eve’s reaction well and are right about the fact that she has an aura of class about her.

    rubysue: I don’t remember you being at that dinner but I was staring at a burrito so I could have missed a few people there. And thanks.

  11. Oh right, phenomenal. And we were just enjoying ourselves!

  12. Right…enjoying ourselves the way an atomic bomb enjoys itself.

  13. You don’t remember me being there? I’m trying not to get insulted here…lol.

  14. I don’t mean to insult you because of my crappy memory. I just remember it sounding like the inside of a jet engine at our table.

  15. I have a family member (a step-parent) who cannot keep from complaining and “taking issue” with things inappropriately in social settings. Embarrassing before I was a grownup, now it’s just annoying as hell. Sounds like Eve handled it well, though. I’ve done quite a bit of event-planning for work and that’s one of the things you just know will happen. Not that it’s not still annoying – I never drink when I’m the organizer so my natural sarcasm can be controlled after I’ve managed to arrange for almost 1,000 meals (and a vegetarian alternative) plus wine, dancing, and an awards ceremony and find myself faced with Asshole #127 complaining that the chicken kiev wasn’t quite the way he thought it should be done.

  16. Shiny: That’s when you hand that person a bucket of crappy fried chicken and say, “Go to town”.

  17. Rude, mean, complaining people just don’t get it. End of story.

  18. Rubysue was there…Jon and Dolly were there…Bella, my friend M, you and Sandy of course…and maybe one more person but I’m not sure.

  19. Kendra was there too!

    I recall the incident. I also recall someone coming over to me (maybe Friday vendor night, as we sat with snacks), talking over the table to me, asking if I’d been a bad girl.

    The answer was no.

    The real answer is, someone needs to get a clue that that is not how to negotiate a scene with someone you don’t know.

    The trouble is, there are people who genuinely don’t have a clue. They were raised how they were raised, educated how they were educated, and their social lessons might not be all we’d hope for. Thus, unfortunately, there are people who are unable (regardless of choice) to participate socially in a polite or generally accepted manner.

    As long as we know better than to take it personally, hosts such as Eve can be graceful and just say they will take the comments into consideration. Without considering the comments as accusatory or personal in any manner. I seem to remember her being pretty quiet about it. I think we moved on with the conversation.

    Gosh we are going to miss seeing everyone.

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