Sunday Fluff: What To Wear

Tops have a laundry list of what they want bottoms to wear. From school girl to leather to jeans or nothing at all, there are certain wardrobe choices that are universal to the scene. Well, what about Tops?

I don’t think I’ve often heard mention of how bottoms would like Tops to dress. I don’t mean BDSM wear although that could be considered a style of dress. I mean at your typical spanko gathering. Do bottoms even care?

Often I just see men wearing their street clothes and on occasion what would be considered dress casual. This is usually the way that I dress at parties or at the club but I have been known to go in jeans to Paddles and even in a jacket and tie (if the mood strikes me). If it’s a role play and I want to look the part of the teacher or dad, I’ll probably wear a jacket and tie for those occasions just to complete the look. It’s not totally necessary but it makes for a nice prop especially if the bottom went out of her way to dress the school girl part.

One thing I never wear when I’m going to spank someone is shorts. It may be hot outside but inside is usually cool enough to get away with wearing long pants of some kind. The “no shorts” restriction is my own rule and it applies to only me. Even though the skin of my hand will be touching the skin of someone’s ass when I’m spanking, I think it’s a little too intimate and maybe unnerving to have their hips or thighs touching mine. I don’t know why I think it rude but I do. Call me strange.

One other thing that bothers me at parties like Shadow Lane is when it’s apparent that a person couldn’t even be bothered to look neat when in public. Ratty jeans and t-shirts that say “u r teh suck” might be amusing among their friends but not when everyone else is trying to look nice. Total sore thumb and screams the fact that the person dressed that way is either clueless or just doesn’t care enough to put on a collared shirt of some kind. I’m not saying dress up in a tux but for goodness sake, get a cheap polo shirt from Old Navy. You can even toss it in the garbage once you’re done if it might offend your t-shirted pals.

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14 Responses to “Sunday Fluff: What To Wear”

  1. Good article! I couldn’t agree more. I’m a true believer in “dress for success” and I do think that applies for our scene too. I love to see both men and women looking classy. That doesn’t mean they have to be dressed to the hilt but just put together well. Some women amaze me by how well they can accessorize and put themselves together in just everyday wear, they are beautiful. Unfortunately, I’ve never learned that talent but it doesn’t stop me from admiring those that did. Cologne and perfume add a great deal to the package for me as well.

  2. You hit all the high points Rad. I like your take on not wearing shorts.
    There is one top who brags on needing to wear shorts as some women have become so excited as to necessitate him changing pants. Blech. I’m thinking the truth is not being told.

    Smell is also part of the package, as Lynn said. I don’t want to be overwhelmed, just attracted.

    And I understand that in the wee hours of the morning at a party like FMS or SL, sometimes both tops and bottoms are a bit undone. If the top is someone I like, I don’t mind so much.

  3. I agree with all of the above. Unless it has been otherwise discussed…at least nice jeans and a collared shirt. A bottom does not want to be approached by someone who screams “I don’t care about myself and I certainly won’t care about you”. Makes you wonder if they just showed up off the street and wandered in. Another great article Rad….

  4. Lynn, Laura & Barb: Thanks for adding to the topic with your own takes on it. One of the other reasons I think “dressing for success”, especially at the SL party, is that I rarely get a chance to dress up and it’s an opportunity to show off a little. It doesn’t have to be formal wear but sometimes looking sharp is enough.

  5. I do think about what to wear as a top. I like the idea of dressing up, especially for a party, and I like to think I take some care in my appearance. For some reason, I’ve been partial to black when I’m going to be spanking someone. Black slacks, black belt, and even a black dressy shirt. Sometimes a jacket as well.

    I believe it’s as important that I do my part to make the event special for my partner(s) by taking the time to consider my wardrobe. As for shorts, I wear them at home for spankings, but that’s different. At parties I’d most likely save the shorts for my room afterwards.

    As for ties, I just hate ’em. I’ll wear ’em if the occasion calls for it, but I’m MUCH more comfortable without a tie.

    My two cents!

  6. Black seems to be a favorite among men because, let’s face it, it looks so damned good. I’ll be decked out for Saturday night’s banquet. Last year I wore a tuxedo but not this time.

  7. You, Jon and all the tux’d up men looked soooooooo good last year. Thanks for dolling up for all of us!

  8. I realize that conventional wisdom has it that women like to shop and dress up, whereas men don’t, but I am a total exception to that rule! Still, everything I wore to my first party, from the waist down, was brand new. Not particularly impressive stuff by most people’s standards, but my friends would have been more than a little amused.

  9. Indy: Perhaps I’m an exception to a particular rule as well because I love to shop. It’s like Christmas except I don’t have to worry about getting anyone else anything.

  10. I’m with you Indy, I hate to shop. I have my own style….okay.. okay.. “style” isn’t exactly what some would call it but I know what I like and what I’m comfortable in and I just don’t feel comfy in dresses and skirts. What can I say.. I like the very soft butch look for me.

  11. Lynn: As long as people make an effort to look neat it doesn’t have to look like they’re off to the Prince’s Ball.

  12. I don’t like to shop as much as Rad does. I get frustrated very quickly, especially with the bizarre games they are playing with women’s sizes, and the prices make me nervous. But when i give myself permission to splurge on a nice dress, it feels good and I enjoy trying things on then (it’s depressing to try things on that you can’t afford).

    As far as men wearing a t-shirt to an SL banquet: I think it’s low self-esteem speaking. I’d guess he’s thinking, I’m not going to have any luck anyway — why should I spend money on stupid clothes? Of course he’s fulfilling his own prophecy.

  13. If a person is going to not care what he looks like out of esteem issues then he might as well come dressed as a duck or wombat. At least people will take notice.

  14. You have written about two subjects near and dear to my heart; music and clothing. I’ve tried to write comments to both of your posts about 5 times now, but I keep going on. So you have inspired me to create posts on these subjects on our own blog, but that’s for a later date. For now here it goes:

    Music: Life should come with a soundtrack. Bach, John Denver, The Eagles, Danny Elfman and John Williams (just to name a few) can all write mine (and have time to time).

    Clothing: You might say it is “fluff” but perception and first impressions are very important. In role play, appearance is at the top of my list in order to get into the proper headspace.

    One last thought on clothing; It is incredibly stimulating, erotic, sexy, fabulous..(ok you get the idea) when a man has taken the time and effort to dress well. And all in black… *melt*

    Great posts Rad and great comments all.
    Shadow Lane… 4 days and counting!

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