Play & Concentration

I love to play. Maybe I’m not a total fiend about it but I do enjoy playing with a wide variety of partners. Each one creates a totally new experience for me and I’ve found that no two are exactly alike even if what we are doing is a scene that’s familiar to me, like a discipline scene.

A great deal of my enjoyment comes when I have the luxury to concentrate on what I’m doing and who I’m playing with. The uniqueness of each and every play partner almost requires me to devote my full attention and make sure that the particular person I’m playing with is getting something that is tailored to their style and not merely the “Number 8 Special” from my repertoire of tricks. I hate doing things by rote and it bothers me when I don’t have time to prepare mentally or when I don’t have the amount of information I need about a particular person’s preferences. That’s not to say that I need a huge amount of knowledge – usually a tiny hint of what makes them tick is enough. I also need a certain level of concentration for my own enjoyment and to get the kind of headspace that really makes a play session a memorable experience.

A party where a large group of people are all gathered together can be exciting in and of itself and playing in a room like that can have an energy all its own. However, I find that the distractions of a party atmosphere often destroy my concentration and don’t allow me to really “get into” a play session. Party play in front of a group is often more lighthearted than a private session I would do.

Paddles, as an example of a BDSM club, can get crowded but the atmosphere there is less party-like as a whole. People will and do watch other folks play but there is less of the intrusiveness of a boisterous crowd than there is at a party. There is almost a certain level of reverence, if I can use that word, for the scene that two people are doing and it’s not difficult for me in a place like that to tune out the crowd and focus on the person I’m playing with. Sandy and I have had some good sessions in front of a crowd and I’ve caught some serious headspace during those times.

No doubt other folks have their own ways of getting to that place they like to get to. For me, the ability to concentrate makes it that much better.


5 Responses to “Play & Concentration”

  1. Would you say that you have “Graduated” from SCONY to Paddles?

  2. OTK hand spanking is my fave…..FYI 😉

  3. Haven’t yet been in a position of playing in front of a crowd but the idea still feels a little awkward. I did plenty of work in front of a crowd growing up (community theater, band, choir) but nothing that intimate. I imagine it would be tough to “get into character” while making sure you don’t flub your lines (or swings, I guess) in front of the crowd.

  4. Have been away for a day and a half and am just getting back to answering stuff here.

    DDon: Paddles was my first experience in the scene – attendance of a SCONY event came much later.

    Barb: Noted.

    Shiny: It depends on what I’m doing. Sometimes Sandy and I will “perform” at a party but that is not the same thing as getting into a deep, headspace inducing scene with someone. That sort of scene has been impossible at parties, doable at Paddles.

  5. In general I prefer the private play to get into a headspace – it’s very hard for me at parties when a crowd gathers to watch. However, if I’m with a top who get’s into my head – he can spank me in the middle of a parade and it works for me. It can actually work very well. Especially if the discipline is real and not a show.

    Once the “performing” aspect is there – it becomes a very different thing and makes it hard to achieve that headspace. Nothing wrong with that and I’ve done it a million times – very enjoyable – just two very different things for me.

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